Opt for privacy and solitude

Go out for a walk. It doesn't have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn't have to be a walk during which you'll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don't find meaning but "steal" some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn't make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.

Recalculating the cost of convenience

Convenience is seductive, and we trade precious things away for it all the time. Part of the reason it dominates our lives is that we only consider the cost once. After that, it continues to remind us of the benefits–the time and hassle and decisions we save. But convenience can cost us. Our humanity, our health, our well-being, our connection to others, and to what we truly care about. Even if it’s a habit, it might be worth reminding ourselves of what we’ve given up in exchange.

Act now!

Start where you are. Start with what you’ve got. Start now. Now is the perfect moment. It only feels ‘fast’ if we’re rushing. Don’t rush. But act with deliberate progress.

Most arguments are ego competitions

Avoiding stupidity is easier than seeking brilliance. Most arguments are ego competitions disguised as truth-seeking. Learning to say "you're probably right" will save you a lot of time and energy.

We avoid doing simple things

We avoid doing simple things that work because they don't make us look smart. Smart people feel stupid doing simple things, so we invent complicated alternatives that accomplish less but feel more intellectually satisfying. Meanwhile, the people who dominate their fields are doing embarrassingly basic things, but they do them better than everyone else.

Make your mood, or it makes you

Make your mood, or it makes you. Most complexity is unnecessary, but we manage it instead of removing it because deletion requires courage that addition doesn't.

You are capable of helping yourself

You are capable of helping yourself. Capable of figuring it out. Capable of squeezing everything you want out of this life. And to believe otherwise is to do yourself a great disservice. To hand over your agency. To give in. To wait for rescue. To curse your luck. To assume someone else will fix it. Don’t look out. Look in. You have within you everything you need. You are at the wheel. Never let it go.

What does it cost me?

Writing down your goals is easy. Everybody wants the glamorous result. What really matters is whether you want the costs associated with it: the money, the time, the tradeoffs. Don't merely ask yourself what do I want to achieve, but also what I am willing to pay?

Happiness is a byproduct of meaningful struggle

Sigmund Freud once wrote in a letter to Carl Jung: “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” Happiness is not a byproduct of ease. Happiness is a byproduct of meaningful struggle. Because there’s nothing better than a hard-earned win. Pain. Resilience. Grit. And then, reward. Knowing you paid the cost of entry with pride. That’s real happiness. So, ask yourself: What are you running from that you need to be running toward?

Motivation as a formula

 A useful way to think about motivation as a formula: Motivation = Value × Probability × Return on Effort ÷ Distance. We’re more motivated when the goal feels valuable, success seems likely, effort feels worthwhile, and the reward feels close. When any of these falter, motivation breaks down into procrastination, self-doubt, distractibility, or simply drifting without a clear goal. The good news is that by recognizing where the equation is failing, whether the issue is valuing the wrong goals, lacking belief in your ability, letting deadlines feel too distant, or scattering focus across too many pursuits, you can adjust the levers. Doing so doesn’t guarantee endless drive, but it transforms motivation from a mystery into something you can diagnose and strengthen.

You do not need to impress people

Be gracious. Be generous. Be reliable. Be trustworthy. Be faithful. Be a great teammate. You’ve been given gifts and talents that you didn’t earn. Be grateful and take them as far as you can, serving others to the best of your ability along the way.

As you get a little older

Something happens as you get a little older. You realize your “success” is not yours alone, and that you stand on the shoulders of many others. You realize you don’t know everything and that learning is far better than appearing right. You realize you’re not infallible and immune to making mistakes, sometimes big and costly ones. In essence, you get humbled.

Be where your feet are

Don’t rush through a new place. Be where your feet are. Look around. Explore. Go on adventures. Learn the local history. Visit historical sites. Build relationships. Live!

The misstep doesn’t define you

"It’s not the note you play that’s the wrong note, it’s the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.” This isn’t just about music. This is about life. No matter how much you’ve prepared for the moment, wrong notes happen. The mistake. The failure. The setback. The misstep doesn’t define you. Your next move does.

Discover what you love

Before you discover what you love: fewer commitments, more experiments. After you discover what you love: fewer experiments, more commitments.

End the fight

If you love them more than the fight, end the fight. An apology loses its warmth if it waits too long. Do it now, before the years turn cold.

Live Like It's The Last Time

There will be a last time. A last time you’ll go for a long walk with your sibling. A last time you’ll hug your parents. A last time your friend will call you for support. All of the things we take for granted today are things we’ll wish we could go back and do. There’s a last time for all of it. You won’t know when it’s the last time. But you can live like it is. No matter how many times you do something, there will come a day when you do it for the last time.

Your brain’s temporary notepad

Working memory is like your brain’s temporary notepad, the mental space where you hold onto just enough information to get a task done, like remembering a phone number long enough to dial it or keeping directions in mind while walking to a new place. Once the task is complete, that space clears so you can focus on something else. This flexible system depends heavily on attention and the brain chemical dopamine, making it a critical player in how well you switch between tasks, stay productive, and maintain focus throughout your day.

Reading is like choosing your favorite toy

Reading is like choosing your favorite toy. Go to a library or bookstore, pick the books you like, and read them. If a book feels boring, you can stop or skip parts. Don’t read a book just because other people say you should. A book that feels boring now might feel fun when you’re older, and a book you love now might feel boring later. Every book has its own right time for you.

The ability to be fast without being reckless

Anyone can move fast. That's the trap. Speed is cheap, but the ability to be fast without being reckless is expensive. Details don't slow you down; they speed you up. All the time you spend worrying about the opportunities you don't have comes at the expense of maximizing the opportunities you do have.

When you truly understand something

When you truly understand something, you can express it at any level of detail while maintaining coherence. The master can provide the one-sentence version, the paragraph version, and the chapter version, all of which tell the same story at different resolutions. The novice can only repeat what they've memorized at one resolution.

Items in motion

A frog has no trouble grabbing a fast-moving fly in midair. But the same fly, sitting on a leaf, is safe, essentially invisible to the frog. We’re a lot like frogs sometimes. We choose to pay attention to things when they’re changing, not when they feel normal. If you want something to get noticed, move it. And if you want to improve your situation, try looking for things that aren’t moving, but could be improved.

A dull truth

A dull truth will not be looked at. An exciting lie will. That is what good, sincere people must understand. They must make their truth exciting and new, or their good works will be born dead.

Under the circumstances

Everyone is always doing their best. Given their situation, priorities, and awareness (the circumstances), people make choices. If we want to change how others respond, we need to change their circumstances and how they see their options.

False scarcity

Often, the things we want the most aren’t directly related to the things we need. In fact, they might be very similar to things we already have. Wants are fueled by stories, and stories come from culture and connection and marketing, not from our actual physical or spiritual needs.

You can build your own system

The dominant system wants you to wait to get picked. It indoctrinates people, again and again, in accepting its hegemony and insight and wisdom, so that we judge ourselves instead of the system. If the system were fair and wise, this would be fine. But it might not be. If you’re waiting to get picked by a famous college or a big company, or the music industry, you might end up waiting a very long time. Of course, that’s what schooling taught you to do. The lessons run deep. There’s often an alternative, one that walks away from the insulation, comfort and deniability the system offers.

Everything bad that happens to you

You are entitled to your labor, but not the fruits of your labor. You can’t count too closely or keep track, but you have to do it. That means you take responsibility for everything bad that happens to you, and this is a mindset. Perhaps it’s a bit artificial, but it’s highly self-serving. And in fact, if you can go the extra mile and just attribute everything good that happens to you to luck, that might be helpful too.

When you savor the path

Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment, and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey.

Use the best idea you have right now

Use the best idea you have right now. Claiming you need to 'learn more' or 'get your ducks in a row' is just a crutch that prevents you from starting. Education is a lifelong pursuit. You will always need to learn more. It's not a reason to wait.

In a world that celebrates conformity

In a world that celebrates conformity, to be different, to be imperfect, can feel like a cause for shame. Sometimes all it takes is one person who can help you see yourself in a new light, who can show you a better way. Who knocks you off the default path and onto your path. Find those who see your full, unique, imperfect self and embrace it.

Walk away or dance

It’s tempting to fear AI slop, because it’s here and it’s going to get worse. But there’s human slop all over the internet, and it’s getting worse as well. Whether you dance or walk away, the goal is the same: create real value for the people who need it. Do work that matters for people who care. If we’re going to make a difference, we’ll need to bring labor to the work. The emotional labor of judgment, insight, and risk.

Anger only clouds our judgment and makes things worse

The world presents us with endless reasons to be angry: broken systems, selfish leaders, rising costs, and cruelty everywhere, but anger only clouds our judgment and makes things worse. History shows that real change-makers, such as Lincoln, Gandhi, and King, chose restraint, sadness, courage, and love over rage, using calm resolve to steer through chaos. Stoics called this the “calm light of mild philosophy”: pausing before reacting, inserting reflection between stimulus and response, and meeting injustice with self-control instead of outrage. Today more than ever, we need that pause, that choice to breathe, to reflect, to act with clarity, because only then can we make things better.

Correct answers are obvious, reality is the opposite

We drill kids on facts that seem obvious once known, never mentioning that almost all of them were buried behind a door of 'that doesn't make sense.' Gravity baffled us for millennia. We didn't think hand washing mattered, even the idea of germs causing sickness sounded insane. Every breakthrough started as heresy. But we teach kids to flee from the very feeling that precedes discovery.

Self-awareness is disarming

Reveal your flaws before others discover them. The people who openly admit their weaknesses become more attractive, not less. Self-awareness is disarming. When you own your imperfections, you remove the power others might have to use them against you.

To overcome your fear

To overcome your fear, make a list of all the worst possible scenarios that might happen and what you’d do if they came true: When you label your fear, it gets smaller, and you’ll have a plan for any unlikely scenario.

Some poisons are impossible to avoid

There are poisons all around us. The arsenic in your rice, the drain cleaner under your sink. In addition to actual physical poisons, most of us wrestle with the emotional and spiritual poisons that are dumped in front of us every day. Persistent systems are good at sticking around, and that’s true even when they’re bringing actual poison with them. As we seek to build a more resilient path forward, perhaps it pays to experience the short-term discomfort associated with fixing a dangerous system now rather than living with the poison it creates over time.

Criticism is the easy part

The second you do something different, you become a target. Some people criticize from fear, some from threatened egos, some from genuine concern disguised as caution. But criticism is the easy part. The hard part is that you lose the map. If you've outsourced your definition of success your whole life, having to define it yourself feels like losing GPS mid-drive. You have to build your sense of direction while you're already moving.

The only way to avoid collisions

What we’ve learned from thousands of years of practice is that the only way to avoid collisions is to find the confidence and empathy to yield. The shortest way to get to where we’re going involves cooperation and the resilience that comes with empathy and awareness. When we exchange appropriate spacing and yield when we can, connections occur, and we can flow forward. Selfish brutality might work in the short run, but it always breaks.

We are all self-taught

Teaching is not about assignments, textbooks, or authority. It’s about the pedagogy, connection, and approach that create the conditions for a willing student to change their mind. Everything else is simply grunt work. Sooner or later, we are all self-taught.

“No” is an option

“Maybe” is the problem. If you’re serious, say, “yes.” And if it’s not for you, walk away. But endlessly reconsidering opportunities without forward motion is a place to hide.

A tunnel that can reduce our choices

We often think that we want an open road and the ability to choose any direction for ourselves. But sometimes, what we need is a tunnel that can reduce our choices and send us in a focused direction.

Praise others

Praise others. It will bring them peace of mind. Do not expect others to praise you. It will bring you peace of mind.

I have lived through this horror

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You can say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Simplicity isn’t something you earn

You keep waiting for “after”. Peace always lives in the future: after the exams, after the summer, after you save more, so life feels on hold. Instead: Prove to yourself that simplicity isn’t something you earn, it’s something you choose. Today, do one thing differently: leave dishes for tomorrow, write with your left hand, or say no to one draining thing.

Is this a real problem right now?

You worry about problems that haven’t happened yet. Your mind spins with “what ifs,” mistaking mental rehearsal for preparedness. Most of these imagined disasters never happen. ↪Instead: Pause and ask, “Is this a real problem right now?” If not, redirect to something grounding: your breath, a sip of tea, the feel of your shirt.

What if not knowing is the point?

We often chase certainty about our future; our careers, passions, and even happiness, but research shows we’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy or who we’ll become. Our tastes, goals, and even identities shift more than we expect, and that’s not a flaw. What if not knowing is the point? When you treat life like an experiment instead of a fixed plan, failure becomes a valuable source of feedback, and curiosity becomes your guiding compass. You stop forcing a perfect future and start discovering who you are, one evolving interest at a time. Uncertainty isn’t the problem; it’s where all the possibility lives.

Smarter approaches aren’t universal shortcuts

Telling someone to “work smarter” is useless because it assumes they already know what smarter looks like. If they did, they’d be doing it. “Work smarter, not harder” is often framed as the opposite of hard work, but working smart is itself a derivative of hard work. You have to work hard just to figure out what working smart means. Smarter approaches aren’t universal shortcuts; they’re contextual insights uncovered through deep, sustained effort.

You can be happy and depressed

If for you happiness means thrills, fun, pleasure, then, yes, depression and happiness are contradictory. But thrills, fun, and pleasure are not happiness. What are they? They’re thrills, they’re fun, they’re pleasure. They’re not happiness. Happiness is a state of nonattachment.

Moving without traveling

Moving is physical, travel is an emotional journey. Moving takes us from one place to another, one job to another, one situation to another. But if we seek to insulate ourselves from the emotional labor of travel, we can build a cocoon around our experience and discover nothing. Once we choose to see what’s actually in front of us and experience it, then we can travel whenever we choose, even without moving. The alternative is to spend the time and money to move around, but never go anywhere.

Curiosity is often the antidote to rumination

Learn something completely unrelated to your problems. Watch a 10-minute YouTube video about how cheese is made, or why octopuses have three hearts, or how ancient Romans built roads. Curiosity is often the antidote to rumination. Your brain can’t obsess over your life when it’s busy absorbing random, fascinating facts.

Staying the same

There’s no such thing as “staying the same.” You’re either:

Getting sharper or duller

Hardening up or breaking down

Building something… or being built by someone else

The longer you wait to take back control, the more of yourself you lose. Don’t wait until it’s unbearable. Start now- when you still have a say.

Hesitation is decay

Do what you’re avoiding: Pick the one thing you’ve been putting off and attack it. Training. Cold shower. Hard conversation. Deep work. Hesitation is decay. Action is armor.

Reinvention starts with release

The reason most people never change is that they’re too attached to who they’ve always been. Change requires death: The death of old stories, old habits, old comforts, old beliefs. Reinvention starts with release.

Make mistakes cheap, not rare

People think good decision-making is about being right all the time. It's not. It's about lowering the cost of being wrong and changing your mind. When the cost of mistakes is high, we're paralyzed with fear. When the cost of errors is low, we can move fast and adapt. Make mistakes cheap, not rare.

Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass

Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass. You won’t feel sad forever. At some point, you will feel happy again. You won’t feel anxious forever. In time, you will feel calm again. You don’t have to fight your feelings or feel guilty for having them. You just have to accept them and be good to yourself while you ride this out.

It’s okay to let go

It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s OK to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you. And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.

As if it were the last time

Life is a journey, not a competition! One day, you are going to hug your last hug, kiss your last kiss, and hear someone’s voice for the last time, but you never know when the last time will be. Live every day as if it were the last time you will be with the person you love.

Be the reason someone feels welcome

Be the reason someone feels welcome, seen, heard, valued, loved, and supported. Cherish those you have in your life because you never know when they won’t be around anymore.

We need both means and meaning

To realize the amazing present and future we want, we need both means and meaning. More generally, the greater our means, the harder it may be to find meaning. Why? There is a thrill in striving. Purpose in striving. Even those who have put in decades of work are overcome by a sense of melancholy when they finally achieve their aim. The idea is that technology creates means, but that we shouldn’t expect it to create meaning. That’s up to us.

The most meaningful things in life

The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Try to press on a creative task, and you become less innovative. Try to force yourself to fall asleep, but you stare at the ceiling, awake. The most meaningful things in life take a long time to build, which is precisely why they’re so meaningful. If you got dropped at the top of the mountain, you'd pass out from the altitude. The climb physically and mentally prepares you for the summit. Never seek to do fast what is meant to be done slowly.

The time must come from somewhere

It is common to think about what you would like to accomplish. It is less common to think about what must be discarded to make space for your new endeavors. The time must come from somewhere. What do you need to give up to make space for what you would like to achieve?

Next play mentality

Take great care to avoid mistakes when the decision is hard to reverse. But! If you make a mistake that is hard to reverse, there is no sense beating yourself up about it. Your responsibility is to make the best next choice given your current position. You must always make the most of the situation you are in.

Every ordinary moment

It doesn’t matter what position you find yourself in right now. What matters is whether you improve your position today. Every ordinary moment is an opportunity to make the future easier or harder.

We fear our highest possibilities

We fear our highest possibilities. We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments, under the most perfect conditions, under conditions of great courage. We enjoy and even thrill to the godlike possibilities we see in ourselves in such peak moments. And yet we simultaneously shiver with weakness, awe, and fear before these very same possibilities. So often, we run away from the responsibilities dictated, or rather suggested by nature, by fate, even sometimes by accident.

Are you doing your best?

Doing your best is not a weakness. It's a sustainable strength. It's showing up with the best energy you can bring today. It requires honesty and integrity. To look in the mirror. To tell yourself the truth. So, the next time you catch yourself feeling like you aren't doing enough, pause and reframe it: Are you doing your best? Because if you're doing your best, you're doing enough.

Real happiness is found in the journey

Real happiness is found in the journey. It’s the quest. It’s the hunt. It’s the process. It's the anticipation. It's the moment right before you achieve it. It's not in the having, but in the becoming. It's an inside job. Find happiness on the journey—or you won't find it at all. And always remember: A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.

See beyond the surface

Explorers open new trails into the jungle. And in doing so, uncover things and ideas that otherwise would remain unseen. They see beyond the surface of things, not because they’re smarter, but because they’re closer.

Dance like no one is watching

Remind yourself daily: “Nobody cares.” Use it as a mental reset to quiet the fear of judgment. Then, take one bold action you've been avoiding, hit publish, pitch the idea, start the project, not because you're fearless, but because others aren’t watching as closely as you think. Or in other words, dance like no one is watching.

The true luxury in life

You’re shown two lives. You can’t see them, but you can only feel them. One is filled with stress and restlessness; the other, with peace and contentment. Which do you choose? Most would pick the calmer one, even if told later that the first belongs to a billionaire. That says everything. We idolize what we can see —cars, homes, designer clothes —while overlooking what actually matters: how we feel. The true luxury in life isn’t what you own, but the quality of your inner world - your thoughts, your peace, and your ability to feel joy without needing more.

Reading old books

On the one hand, reading old books is a luxurious escape from your contemporary moment. On the other hand, it expands you in ways that make you more equipped to deal with your contemporary moment.

Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation

Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen, widen, and expand our sense of life; they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again.

Build a reputation for reliability

You’ll achieve much more by being consistently reliable than by being occasionally extraordinary. You can get pretty damn far by just being someone that people can count on to show up and do the work. Being reliable is entirely free but surprisingly rare.

Everything matters

Every single thing. You don't get to pick and choose when to show up, because the world will ignore your best and judge you for your worst. Top performers show up with energy and enthusiasm for the little things just as much as they do for the big stuff.

The fear of judgment

Stop wasting your life worrying about the opinions of people who won't remember your name in 5 minutes. The fear of judgment has killed more dreams than failure ever will. Nobody is thinking about you. They're too busy thinking about themselves. Go do the thing.

Everyone knows what works

Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. Once you have learned it, you can proceed to the next lesson.

We get to make a new decision

Each day, we get to make a new decision about how to invest our time, our attention and our effort. If a community that used to appreciate our work doesn’t respond in a way we are hoping for, we can use that information to reallocate our work. “Thank you” is an appropriate response to a lack of appreciation, because we learned something useful. The audience didn’t owe us anything, but if they don’t want to dance with us in the way we hope, we can choose to find a new partner.

Most people take life far too seriously

Realise that most people take life far too seriously. Many are miserable because they conform and don’t want to appear strange. The general approach by many is to see themselves as victims. And so that’s the default many fall into, because most people emulate the next person (like sheep). But does this need to be you? Being upbeat requires a healthy but courageous willingness to be weird.

After a lifetime of blaming others

After a lifetime of blaming others, it is exceedingly difficult for us to finally acknowledge that the only person who has consistently been in all the scenes of that long-running soap opera we call our life is us, and, as a necessary corollary, that we bear some large responsibility for how the drama is turning out.

Be forgiving with your past self

Be forgiving with your past self. What's done is done. Take the lessons with you and release the guilt. Be strict with your present self. Win the moment in front of you right now. Be flexible with your future self. There are many paths to success. You don't need life to be a certain way to live well.

Practice identity diversification

Resist tying your self-worth to your achievements or reputation. See yourself as more than your output and what people say you are. Practice identity diversification and regularly explore new interests, roles, and small reinventions to stay flexible and grounded.

How can you rewrite the script?

Many of our habits and beliefs are learned from those who raised us. Which family story are you unconsciously repeating and reenacting? How can you rewrite the script to liberate yourself and the next generation? Focus on the seeds, not the trees. What seeds are you planting today?

Reading isn't a race

Every new reader thinks that the answer to their problems is to learn how to speed read so that they can get through books 2-3x faster. But the problem is that the best books have to be read slowly. An amazing book will force you to put it down and stare at the wall because you'll need time to reflect on it and put your brain back together after it blows you away.

Be a Just-In-Time learner

Be a Just-In-Time learner instead of a Just-In-Case learner. If you want to achieve a goal, commit to something that puts your reputation, money, or comfort on the line. It will force you to focus and follow through.

It’s not the situation or person

It’s not the situation or person causing your pain; it’s your mind’s programming demanding reality match its expectations. Change your view, and you change your experience.

Our power to do

Hard things don’t get easier; you get stronger. You grow. You change. You become different. And if you show up for long enough, somewhere along the way, you fall in love with the struggle. You find peace in chaos. True flow. That is the magic of life.

They had drifted apart

They had drifted apart, as people do when they promise to stay in touch; the ones who are going to keep in touch don't need to promise.

The future doesn’t care

It doesn’t care whether you’re excited or filled with trepidation. It arrives, regardless. What an opportunity. Or a threat. Up to us.

Not being smart is a passive act

Not being smart is a passive act, remedied with learning, experience, and thought. Stupid is active, the work of someone who should have or could have known better and decided to do something selfish, impulsive, or dangerous anyway. The more experience, assets, and privilege we have, the less excusable it is to do stupid things. And at the same time, the more useful it is to announce that we’re not smart (yet).

Impatience is an expensive emotion

Becoming an empathic listener indeed takes time, but it doesn’t take anywhere near as much time as it takes to back up and correct misunderstandings when you’re already miles down the road, to redo, and to live with unexpressed and unsolved problems.

Freedom, liberty, and independence

Freedom, liberty, and independence are human rights. But they depend on responsibility. Responsibility to others, to our future, to the community. Responsibility for our actions and our choices. The only way to earn our independence is to keep the promises we’ve made. Can we become the present that the future will thank us for?

Name Your Hesitation First

If you’re struggling to raise an issue because it feels risky or emotionally charged, start by naming that. Say something like: “There’s something I want to talk about, but I’m nervous it might cause tension. I don’t want to upset you, but I care about getting this right.” Acknowledging the difficulty often lowers defenses and makes it easier to continue.

Use constraints intentionally to boost your creativity

Use constraints intentionally to boost your creativity: set clear limits on your project’s scope, materials, or format to focus your ideas and spark innovation. For example, write a story using only 100 words, design a logo with just two colors, or create a meal using only five ingredients. Embrace these boundaries as challenges that push you to think differently and create more original work.

Cut your losses, let go of the guilt

When making a decision, ignore past investments and ask yourself: “If I hadn’t already spent time or money on this, would I still choose it?” If the answer is no, walk away.

We invent stories

We invent stories; that’s the only way they occur. And most of our stories are about what happened and why. The best way to get to a more accurate version of reality is to share your assumptions, show your work and change the story based on useful feedback. When we reject narratives that are counter to our story before we even bother to consider them, our story is getting in the way of our path to better.

Everyone wants the summary

Everyone wants the summary. But the summary is what's left after someone else decided what matters. Their priorities aren't yours. Their filters aren't yours. When you operate on summaries, you're thinking with someone else's brain.

Feeling tired and feeling empty

There's a difference between feeling tired and feeling empty. One probably needs sleep. The other may need a purpose. Are you low on rest or low on meaning?

Do what you can for who you know

Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.

Living one day at a time

Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all life really means.

As hot possible

At sea level, water boils at 100 degrees C. It doesn’t matter how much more heat you use; steam is what you get. It turns out that water this hot makes lousy coffee. Tea too. And an amp turned up to 11 doesn’t sound that good. Just because we can send more emails, hustle a bit harder or run the machine until it is at capacity doesn’t mean we should.

Question your desires

Question your desires. Not all desires are created equal. The more primitive and externally validated a desire (like wealth, fame, or status), the more likely it is to trigger envy. Instead, focus on desires that are personal, creative, and inwardly motivated, goals like learning, growth, or mastery, where progress can only be measured by your own standards, not someone else’s.

Take care of yourself

Take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Whether you’re a parent, a friend, a teacher, or a leader, others rely on you. And you can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s not selfish to step back and recharge. It’s responsible. The best way to give your best to others is to make sure you’ve taken care of yourself first.

Bring your best self forward

Great relationships aren’t found, they’re built. Instead of seeking perfect puzzle-piece people, bring your best self forward and stay open. Trust a little. Try a little. Be generous first. The right people often reveal themselves not by how they appear, but by how they respond when you show up authentically.

Start from enough

To get what you want, learn to want less. Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy. You’ll always want more. But look around, what if what you have is already enough? The less you chase, the more you can enjoy. Start from enough, and you’ll feel like you’ve already arrived.

You’re already somewhere worth noticing

Wherever life takes you, pause and be present; you’re already somewhere worth noticing. Life moves pretty fast. You may not know why you sent that text, stayed in that city, or told that story, but all of it brought you here. And here matters. Stop running toward the next thing. Take stock. Reflect. Breathe. Wherever you go, there you are, so be there fully.

Life is full of paradoxes

Life is full of paradoxes- things that don’t seem to make sense, yet somehow feel true. When we stop trying to force life into neat boxes, we open ourselves to wonder, peace, and unexpected wisdom. Maybe both sides of a contradiction can be true. Maybe flaws are advantages in disguise. Paradoxes aren’t problems- they’re part of the design. Embrace the mystery, and you’ll find balance, perspective, and even joy in life’s delightful inconsistencies.

Good decisions often can lead to undesired outcomes

Good decisions often can lead to undesired outcomes. Good decisions are calculations based on what you know right now. If the world turns out differently than the data you had indicated, that’s not a bad decision. A bad decision isn’t based on available facts. It falls into traps like sunk costs or peer pressure. A bad decision is an error in judgment or skill. Good decision makers, when faced with the same options as you had, would not have done what you did.

Do what makes mornings exciting and nights peaceful

The entire self-help industry in one sentence: Do what makes mornings exciting and nights peaceful. Will this make me excited to wake up? Will this let me sleep in peace? Everything that fails both tests is noise.

Focus requires subtraction

Every choice is a brushstroke. No single stroke creates a masterpiece, but eventually the portrait emerges. Most people are too loyal to their distractions to ever meet their destiny. The courage isn't in taking on more, it's in cutting off everything that doesn't feed your goal. Focus requires subtraction.

You don’t have to be the loudest

Don’t give people having a bad day the power to ruin your day. You don’t have to be the loudest in the room. Just be the one everyone listens to when it goes quiet.

If you don’t do the small things well

If you don’t do the small things well, they’ll never trust you to do the big things. Remember that. Everything you do matters- act accordingly. You can always choose to be a victim or a victor, but you can never be both. Life gets a lot easier when you just accept that life isn’t always fair.

Each person carries an invisible backpack

Each person carries an invisible backpack full of unfinished tasks. These things can weigh on you, especially the ones that you feel like you should do but know you won't make time for. There are two ways to lighten the load: finish the task or let it go. Give yourself permission to stop worrying about the things you're never going to do. What's weighing down your backpack that needs to be released?

The Ability to Reset

A skill to master: The Ability to Reset, Fast. 

Have a bad moment? Feel it, and reset

Have bad feedback? Feel it, and reset

If you can contain a bad moment for 10 minutes and not let it consume your day, mood, and productivity, it will change your life. Reset!

We're all just pretending

Everyone should experience bankruptcy at least once, so they realize they can always make money again at any age. No one has life figured out. We're all just pretending. Now you know. The solution to all money problems is to make more money. Expense management won't help.

Your brain is primal

Your brain is primal. It doesn’t care about anything but keeping you alive. This is why meaningful hobbies or goals matter so much. If you leave your brain to its own devices, it will only focus on the fear of the unknown.

Actively do not tolerate insecure thoughts

We all have insecure thoughts, no matter how seemingly confident we are on the outside. The difference is how willing we are to turn towards these thoughts, rather than to turn away back to what is more relevant for you. Make an agreement with yourself, right now, that you will no longer tolerate thoughts that bring you down.

Division stems from a lack of understanding

Division stems from a lack of understanding. That’s not to say we can’t do stupid or bad things. However, when we lack understanding, we struggle to be compassionate, and this can make us sour-faced and prone to anger. So ask questions. Why are they the way they are? The more you know, the more you’ll find a natural love rise up.

Collect hero origin stories

Everyone who irritates you is the hero of their own story. You gotta find it. That insufferable colleague? They might be the first in their family to graduate. That slow cashier? Maybe they’re working three jobs. Perhaps you just have to make it up in your head. You design how you respond. Everyone can be a hero in some form.

Remember your mistakes

Next time you’re about to fuss about someone else’s choices, just think back real quick to the dumb decisions you made in your life. Humans aren’t without flaws, and neither are you.

We behave based not on our realities

We behave based not on our realities, but on our thoughts. This applies to you too. You did things you regretted, but that felt totally the right thing to do at the time because of your thinking. It’s a great way to forgive yourself and others, and uncover the warmth of compassion you have for everyone.

Ask for things

Ask for things. Ask for things that seem unreasonable to ensure your intuitions about what's reasonable are accurate (of course, try not to be a jerk in the process). If you're only asking for things you get, you're not aiming high enough.

It’s tough to be very lazy

It’s tough to be very lazy. It takes a lot of imagination to do nothing and you have to be sufficiently self-confident not to have a bad conscience. You have to have a taste for life, so that every minute is complete in itself and so you don’t have to keep saying ‘I’ve done this or that.’ You need strong nerves to do nothing. Being lazy also means that other people’s opinions don’t matter. Nor does the idea of always having to prove yourself.

Yours or Someone Else?

Very few people really have their own opinion. Very often, their opinion is just the opinion of someone else. Perfectly prepared, warmed up, and served medium well. I'm not above this, and I'd argue not many people are. All our opinions are shaped by other people's opinions. It's how this all works. The question is just, how many opinions do I require to shape mine?

The courage to ask

What if the only thing standing between you and the life you want is the courage to ask? Identify one thing you truly wish for an opportunity, connection, or resource—and ask for it today, even if you're afraid of hearing “no.”

The past is a teacher

Don't let your worst moments become your story. The past is a teacher, not a judge. Your next move matters more than your last mistake.

You control your inputs

You control your inputs, but you're ultimately judged for your outcomes. Inputs that fail to produce desired outcomes should be adjusted, not repeated. The trick is in the time horizons. In the short term, it's perfectly reasonable for inputs and outcomes to be dislocated- meaning you won't always see a direct reward for your efforts. But in the long term, inputs and outcomes should converge. If they don't, you may need to adjust your inputs.

Happiness releases you from self

You’re never so centered on yourself as when you’re depressed. You’re never more ready to forget yourself than when you're happy. Happiness releases you from self. It is suffering and pain and misery and depression that tie you to the self. Look how conscious you are of your tooth when you have a toothache. When you don’t have a toothache, you’re not even aware you have a tooth, or that you have a head, for that matter, when you don’t have a headache.

Language is weaponized and reality is fractured

What replaces consensus reality? Loyalty realities. Tribal realities. Personalized realities!! We no longer debate ideas or solutions - we debate whose facts count, whose feelings matter, whose truth wins. Truth itself becomes a loyalty test, not a shared ground. And without a shared informational commons, cooperation becomes impossible. We don’t solve problems, we fight over who gets to define them!

If the governed are told lie after lie

If the governed feel that the rules are unfair, they will refuse to follow them. If the governed feel trapped, they will find a way to escape. If the governed are backed into a corner, they will find their power there. If the governed are told lie after lie, they will seek truth after truth. If the governed feel used instead of useful, they will refuse to be exploited. If the governed feel like things instead of people, they do all they can to become themselves.

People die alone

People die from neglect. People die when their pleas for help are ignored. People die in exile. People die from bigotry. People die when they lose their reason to live. People die a little every time they’re mocked. People die when they can’t act like machines. People die of resource misallocation. People die alone.

We admire people who commit

We admire people who commit, but we act like browsers because of three fears: regret (we might miss better options), association (commitment may disrupt our identity or control), and FOMO (it might limit other opportunities). These fears keep us stuck, wanting to commit, but too afraid to jump.

Balance your environment

Balance your environment. Too much sameness can dull the brain; varied experiences keep it sharp. Monotony quietly kills the mind’s edge. Variety fuels growth and sharpens focus. Change your world or dull your vision.

Stories are compensatory

There are so many things that we can’t say, because they are too painful. We hope that the things we can say will soothe the rest, or appease it somehow. Stories are compensatory. The world is unfair, unjust, unknowable, and out of control. When we tell a story, we exercise control, but in such a way as to leave a gap, an opening. It is a version, but never the final one. Perhaps we hope that the silence will be heard by someone else and that the story can continue and be retold.

When momentum is on your side

When momentum is on your side, people focus on your strengths and forgive your weaknesses. When the momentum stops, they scrutinize the whole thing. Your first task is to find what feels effortless to you. Your second task is to put maximum effort into it.

The most important decision

“What should I do next?” Not next year or for the rest of my life. Right now. The apparently trivial choice–whether or not to open an email, make a phone call or stand up to stretch. The endless list of options, some not even consciously considered, that we work through a thousand times a day. Sum them up, and these millions of tiny decisions become the life we’ve chosen. One next at a time.

Remember: sleep is mostly about your brain

Sleep does rest your body, but so does lounging on the couch watching TV. Its bigger job is repairing, cleaning, and organizing your brain. Don’t obsess over physical recovery; prioritize getting consistent rest to support your mental clarity and emotional health.

Plan your leisure in advance

Avoid drifting into mindless tasks by starting your leisure activities immediately. A common pitfall is losing your free time to routine habits like checking the news or answering emails without realizing it. To prevent this, plan your leisure in advance, have everything ready, silence your phone, and begin the activity right away with full focus.

Commit to regularly showing up

Commit to regularly showing up at a recurring, low-cost, local gathering or activity, like a community group, park meet-up, or sports club, where you can gradually build connections over time. Consistency, not perfection, extroversion, or talking skills, fosters meaningful relationships.

Risk ages you, but so does regret

Risk ages you, but so does regret. The difference is that risk leaves the marks of meaningful struggle, while regret leaves the marks of unlived potential. Choose wisely.

Hard things are good for the soul

Your entire life will change the moment you realize it’s not supposed to be easy. The most valuable things in life are hard to earn. That’s precisely why they’re so useful. So, why do hard things? Because nothing feels better than a hard-earned win. Nothing. The pain. The struggle. The resilience. The grit. And then, the reward. The thrill of knowing that you paid the cost of entry for what you wanted to achieve.

We are motivated by fear of loss

Ask yourself these two questions:

1. If I act, what’s the worst that can happen?

​2. If I don’t act, what am I left with?

I’m not asking you to consider the best-case scenario — because, well, we aren’t motivated by best-case scenarios. Instead, we are motivated by fear of loss. Decades of research have confirmed loss-aversion theory: Our brains are programmed to protect against loss more than seek gain.

Go deeper or narrower in your field

One way to stand out is to look for pockets of low competition. Wake up early—there will be less traffic and fewer people. Go deeper or narrower in your field—there will be less noise and more space. People are drawn to places that are crowded. Look for quiet spaces inside your areas of interest. Excellence often hides at the edges.

Wild animals forage with purpos

Wild animals forage with purpose—they spend energy and take risks to survive. If the cost outweighs the reward, the species fades. The quiet law of nature is efficiency: to gain the most with the least effort. When there's surplus, life expands—until balance returns. This is the cycle, not of greed, but of instinct. Want arises, effort follows, and excess leads to growth—until equilibrium reasserts itself.

Infinity is not a number

In a world ruled by metrics, infinity becomes a trap. It lures us with the promise of more—more followers, more sales, more praise—but offers no arrival. If “just a little more” is your mantra, contentment will always be one step ahead, forever out of reach. If the journey nourishes you, let it continue. But be mindful: chasing infinity means trading presence for illusion. And by design, it never comes.

Expectations

We may feel we deserve something, but that feeling is rooted in attachment. Expectations are stories we create—sources of craving and, ultimately, suffering. Act with intention but release attachment to outcomes. Lowering expectations isn’t pessimism; it’s freedom. When we let go, we find peace in the present—and whatever comes next becomes a gift, not a disappointment.

You’re already the good-looking protagonist

You can’t rush greatness—and if you try to, you will have a breakdown. You’re already the good-looking protagonist you’ve been waiting for. You can absolutely do that stupid little task and not die or even cry all that much.

You belong even if you don’t fit in

You belong even if you don’t fit in. There’s a big, weird difference. You’re different, and so is everybody else, which is honestly humanity’s best hope.

Tell the tough truths

People are exhausted by the bullshit. Be the refreshing glass of water in the desert, willing to speak honestly, even if it hurts some feelings. Nothing progresses without truth. Most of society's problems are rooted in political correctness and associated lies. Be different. People follow the honest.

The future will be better

The future will be better than you expect it to be. It always has been. You would not have been here if your present matched your past fears, would you?

Appreciate the opportunity you have right now

If you're 30, instead of regretting that you can't wake up at age 18 again, pretend to yourself that you're 90, you've woken up at age 30 again, and that you get to magically, wonderfully have the next 60 years again.

The art of looking

To build a world of love and light, learn the art of inner sight. When anger stirs, don’t point or blame; instead, ask what sparks your inner flame.

Life goes on

 Nobody belongs to you, nobody is yours. Enjoy people, the moments, and the experience.

The worst will pass

 All your feelings are dictated not by your circumstances but by your thoughts about your circumstances. If you can find comfort in necessary pain, you immediately give yourself an unfair advantage. The worst will pass, as it always does. Trust that everything you experience in your life is timed perfectly.

If happiness is not found now

People are always looking for happiness at some future time and in some new thing, or some new set of circumstances, in possession of which they some day expect to find themselves. But the fact is, if happiness is not found now, where we are, and as we are, there is little chance of it ever being seen. There is a great deal more happiness around us day by day than we have the sense or the power to seek and find.

Truth trumps narrative

What you're taught isn’t always what matters. Truth trumps narrative. You can temporarily rally people around what sounds good, but reality eventually imposes its verdict.

Move on and let them be wrong

If someone is acting like an idiot, you can just move on and let them be wrong. You do not have a personal obligation to correct people who are committed to being stupid. Sure, sometimes you need to attempt to get on the same page, but usually you can simply reclaim your time and move on to more productive ventures.

Our weakest arguments dilute the strongest

We assume that the more arguments we give, the better our case. In reality, our weakest arguments dilute the strongest. Generally, you’ll only be as convincing as your worst point, so make only the best instead of making as many arguments as possible.

Give people their flowers

When you think something nice about someone, let them know right then. This inspiration is perishable. Give people their flowers while you still can.

When learning something new

When learning something new, spend 5 minutes trying to teach it to someone. Make a note of where the other person gets confused. You'll get an immediate sense of your understanding of the topic and where you need to dig in more.

Everyone is on a spectrum

Everyone is on a spectrum. No one has absolute power, and no one is powerless. But our expectation and experience of power is always a choice. Choosing the attitude of powerlessness is self-defeating as well as self-negating. The fact that the attitude can be chosen is in itself a form of power. We can find control over our attitude and our actions, gaining priceless power as we do.

Just because it’s your instinct

Sometimes, in the absence of data or useful experience, we’re left to act on our instincts. It’s worth noting that other people have instincts as well. And in a given situation, their instincts might prove to be as right as ours. Just because it’s your instinct doesn’t mean it’s the best instinct. When in doubt, seek reality and useful experience instead.

Even the tiniest shift in the system

If you memorize the steps, you have a direct, simple, and fast path to obtain the result. Until the world changes. Even the tiniest shift in the system will render your memorization useless. On the other hand, if you understand the concept, you can produce the steps whenever you need them.

Make amends

If you’re holding onto resentment or guilt, reach out and try to make it right—even if the other person doesn’t respond as you hope. Apologizing or forgiving clears emotional clutter and lets you move forward.

Limit how people can reach you

Choose just a few ways to stay reachable—like calls, email, or text—and cut back on the rest. Turn off notifications from apps you barely use and stop checking a dozen inboxes daily.

Clean up your information diet.

Audit what you consume—news, social media, group chats—and cut out sources that leave you anxious, angry, or drained. Follow fewer accounts, and replace doomscrolling with books, meaningful podcasts, or curated news summaries that actually inform and uplift. “Garbage in, garbage out.”

Noise designed to keep us distracted

From plastic straw bans to bird deaths by wind turbines, from endless culture war headlines to sensational political stunts, we're bombarded by stories that feel urgent but steer us away from deeper issues like corporate accountability, climate change, and wealth inequality. This tactic—known as industrial distraction—isn’t just about misinformation; it’s about overwhelming our attention with technically true but strategically irrelevant narratives. The overload isn’t accidental; it’s the point. When we're too overwhelmed to think clearly, we’re easier to manipulate, divide, and control.

Courage is who you are when it's inconvenient

Courage is who you are when it's inconvenient. When no one is watching. When the rewards are uncertain. When the outcomes are unpredictable. It's easy to declare our values, principles, and virtues in times of peace—it's hard to live by them in times of war. Courage is defined at the testing point.

It's normal to be shaken by life

It's normal to be shaken by life. Chaos will rarely knock politely at your door to announce its arrival—more often, it barges in without forewarning. You will be shaken by it, and that's ok. When shaken, quickly return to your center. Your daily habits, principles, and values. The center is where you reassert your control. It's where you can hear the natural rhythm to navigate the storm.

When you’re quick to take things personally

One of the absolute best ways to guarantee your misery and lose the love and respect of others is to make everything about you. When you’re quick to take things personally and go off on a sulk, you become highly vulnerable to perceived rejection. When you’re unable to handle what looks like rejection or criticism, guess what? You immediately close off about 90% of the opportunities available to you. Because most opportunities require you to lean into the possibility you might be judged, criticised or rejected

Let go of Mr/Mrs Nice

Being nice will not necessarily earn you respect. People can feel it when you use ‘niceness’ as a manipulative tactic to avoid being disliked, to protect your ego. Let go of Mr/Mrs Nice, stop trying to please everyone, and experiment with being honest and friendly, rather than nice and dishonest.

Give trust freely in the moment

Give trust freely in the moment, but don’t build your future on the assumption it will last. People change, and not always in your favour. Assuming your friends will remain friends makes you vulnerable. Don’t tie yourself into anything you can’t easily walk away from.

Swings in mood often occur without a clear cause

One moment you're grooving, the next you're out of tune with your world. While emotions react to what's happening now, moods linger, shaping how you interpret everything around you. Swings in mood often occur without a clear cause and can be unsettling, especially if you're used to feeling steady. They may reflect personality traits, stress, or even deeper mental health issues. Instead of chasing a perfect mood, pay attention to your patterns, care for your body, and seek support when needed. These emotional shifts might just be offering you clues to deeper self-understanding.

You are the explorer and life is your voyage

The explorer doesn't set out on the voyage trusting that the seas will remain calm to stay perfectly on course. Rather, the explorer trusts in the preparation and the ability to adapt when the inevitable storms and chaos arrive. You are the explorer and life is your voyage. You don't need to trust in your plan or your intelligence. You need to trust in your preparation. You need to trust in your ability to adapt.

Uncertainty has always been the norm

If you were living through the Industrial Revolution, the future felt very uncertain. If you were living through the peak of the Cold War, the future felt very uncertain. If you were living through any of the major plagues, economic crashes, world wars, or famines, the future felt very uncertain. There's a tendency to say "this time is different" with every major event, but while the specifics are always different, as a student of history, you cannot ignore the general similarities.

Our brains are wired for exploration

Our brains are wired for exploration—an evolutionary trait that once helped us discover new lands, innovate, and adapt. The thrill of novelty, driven by dopamine, once led to real-world advantages, but modern technology hijacks this circuitry without offering the same benefits. We should embrace the unknown, take more detours, and allow ourselves to get lost—because the best discoveries and versions of ourselves emerge from the uncharted.

The cure for anxiety often lies in radical simplification

The cure for anxiety often lies in radical simplification—one that gently leads to a grounded, timeless calm. At its core is the freeing truth that most worries can't be solved, only released. From this space, we learn to worry briefly and consciously, using it as a tool for deeper attention, rather than letting it stretch into days of vague, unproductive anxiety.

Anxiety is the mask that truth wears

Anxiety is the mask that truth wears when one refuses to pause and uncover its face—the disembodied state a person experiences when they pretend to resolve issues by worrying about them rather than engaging with them. It becomes a constant excuse for not settling into the body, the breath, or a world where truth might be discovered. Anxiety is a temporary helper disguised as worry, who, when allowed to become a permanent live-in companion, transforms into a formidable jailor.

Start a cycle of generosity

Start a cycle of generosity by asking someone for small, sincere favors—like advice or a helping hand—and accepting it with genuine gratitude. Then, look for natural ways to give to others without keeping score. Let kindness flow both ways, not as a transaction but as a shared human connection.

Steal time from a noisy world

You don’t owe everyone your constant availability. Be more selfish with time spent on the things that matter. Put your damn phone in a drawer when you need to work. The world will wait. As it should, because you’re creating remarkable things.

Ignore your mood until it improves

People get too wrapped up trying to ‘fix’ how they feel. They think that, to work, they must feel motivated. You’re allowed to feel flat when you start. It’s the doing that fills up your motivation tank.

Let Them

No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to control or change another person. The only person you are in control of is you. Your thoughts, your actions, your feelings. Instead of trying to change, manage, or please others, just say Let Them. Let people be themselves and accept that. Then, based on that information, you get to decide what you want to do next.

If you're busy showing off your brains

If you're busy showing off your brains, you're probably not listening closely enough, thinking hard enough or reaching the smartest conclusions. The loudest signals come from the emptiest sources. Those who truly possess something rarely need to announce it.

Neither for you nor against you

You come to understand that most people are neither for you nor against you, they are thinking about themselves. You learn that no matter how hard you try to please, some people in this world are not going to love you, a lesson that is troubling at first and then really relaxing.

If you think you’re running 10 minutes late

If you think you’re running 10 minutes late, text to say you’ll be 15 minutes late. That way the other person gets one disappointment and one pleasant surprise. Most people do the opposite: they say they’re 5 minutes late when it’s 10 and end up annoying the other and looking like total fools.

Nobody cares

When you're winning, when everything is going well, when you're crushing it, nobody cares. When you're losing, when everything is falling flat, when you're down and out, nobody cares. It doesn't mean nobody loves you. It just means nobody cares about your life as much as you do. It just means that you are in control. It's on you. It's not depressing. It's liberating. It's empowering. It's energizing.

You aren't afraid of failure

You aren't afraid of failure. You're so scared of what other people will think of you if you fail. The fear is in the judgment. The fear is in the embarrassment. The fear is in the scrutiny. The fear is in the whispers. The fear is in what they might say, or what they might think. The fear is in the silence.

Rest is not idleness

Rest is not idleness, and lying sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is no means a waste of time.

Obvious or perhaps?

"Obvious" closes the door to inquiry.

"Perhaps" opens it.

Winners get rejected more

You can get almost anything you want if you ask enough people. Winners get rejected more, and they do it with a skip in their step. Most people settle for scraps because they don't think big enough, don’t ask for more, and don’t ask more often

Become the self you’d be proud to be

“Be yourself”  Really? Which self?

The self you were when you were two years old, almost out of diapers?

The self you were when you were screaming with the fans at the big game?

The self you were after a long night?

How about this: Become the self you’d be proud to be. Hang out with people and ideas that help you become that self. Act like that self every chance you get.

Turn ‘Why?’ into ‘How?’

When you find yourself spiraling with “Why did this happen?” or “What if I fail?”, shift your mindset. Ask, “How can I improve this?” or “What’s the next step?” Focusing on action instead of overthinking helps you feel more in control and reduces stress.

Write a ‘To-Don't’ List

Endless to-do lists can be overwhelming. Instead, try a “To-Don't” list: write down things you want to stop doing—like doomscrolling before bed or saying yes to every invite. Keep the list visible and adjust it monthly. Letting go of things that drain your time and energy creates more room for what matters.

Don’t Stress About Not Feeling Happy

Focus on creating a meaningful life by seeking out interesting and perspective-shifting experiences—even if they’re not always fun in the moment. It could be trying a new hobby, traveling somewhere new, or even facing a difficult challenge head-on. Also, simplify your life by cutting down on unnecessary choices—too many options (in tv shows, food, books, travel, friends, etc.) can make life feel overwhelming.

Does it fit with our world picture?

Most of us spend a lot of time censoring everything that we see and hear. Does it fit with our world picture? And if it doesn’t, how can we shut it out, how can we ignore it, how can we challenge it? We are continually threatened in life, it’s true. But once you are alone with a book, and it’s also true with a picture or with music, all those defenses drop and you can enter into a quite different space where you will learn to think differently about yourself.

Power of perspective

I think it may be easier to see solutions if you can distinguish between context and content. If you can place a problem within the framework of the larger universe its dimensions are put into perspective and automatically diminished.

When we lack real problems

When we lack real problems, we create imaginary ones; when we lack meaningful work, we perfect the unimportant. Work becomes great when curiosity drives it beyond obligation.

Avoid the anxious middle

Spend a handful of hours a day going fast. Crush a workout session. Do deep work on a project you care about. Spend the rest of the day going slow. Take walks. Read books. Get a long dinner with friends. Either way, avoid the anxious middle where you never truly relax or truly move forward.

The quality of your thoughts

The quality of your thoughts is determined by the quality of your reading. Spend more time thinking about the inputs.

You are as old as the risks you take

You are as old as the risks you take. In many ways, aging is not the process of growing old, but rather the slow death of becoming overly protective, scared, and worried about losing what you have. Youth is the energy of going for it, taking the risk, and trusting that you'll figure it out. 

Waves and tides

It’s easy to be distracted by the crashing waves on the shore. On the other hand, the tide is inexorable. It’s the long-term trend, the one that is quietly happening, over time. Sometimes, a big wave comes along and we lose our focus. It’s urgent. But expecting and working with the tide pays off. Waves burn out.

If you want to understand someone

If you want to understand someone, figure out the narrative they tell themselves about themself. If you want to change your behavior, change your narrative. If you want to change someone else’s behavior, offer them a more compelling narrative they can tell themselves.

The single most effective habit

The single most effective habit is the willingness to change your own mind. The most powerful productivity tool ever invented is simply the word "NO."

Your reputation isn't just what people say about you

Your reputation isn't just what people say about you—it's the position from which you make every move. Be among the best. Pretend you're not.

Someone else’s trauma doesn’t diminish yours

While comparing suffering, inconvenience, unfairness, or general no-goodness is tempting, it’s not helpful. Someone else’s trauma doesn’t diminish yours. In fact, when we can find the space to see that others have their own mess to deal with, it opens the door for forward motion. The past happened, but all that’s available to us now is the choice of what to do about it. And doing it together is more nurturing, resilient, and effective.

Be less bothered

As humans, we’re laughably emotional and rather chaotic beings. This is cool. This makes us beautifully human. But this can also hinder us and push each other apart. Be the cool cat in the storm. This is rare and will inspire all you meet.

The need for regular social interaction

The feeling of belonging is central to joy and resilience. Isolation, both physical and emotional, can lead to dissatisfaction and insecurity. I love to spend a lot of time alone. I need it. But I also make sure that I am developing and keeping in touch with the community around me. None of us are immune from the need for regular social interaction. Cultivate relationships in a way that matches your personality.

Inferiority complexes arise from unnecessary comparisons

Inferiority complexes arise from unnecessary comparisons. Instead of using others as a yardstick, you can choose to focus on your unique strengths and progress. Use others as a source of inspiration rather than comparison. And if that still brings you grief, turn away from what others are doing and focus on the progress you are making. You're on your own path.

We use our memories selectively

While past events shape your experiences, they do not have the power to define your future unless you allow them to. We use our memories selectively to justify our current goals or inaction. Confidence and your sense of agency grow when you realize that the future is shaped by the meaning and direction you choose today, not by what happened years ago.

Happiness comes from contribution

Whether through small acts of kindness, creative work, or offering help, contributing allows you to feel connected and purposeful. Find ways to make others happy if you're stuck, feel rejected, or need a sense of meaning.

Your life isn’t a committee meeting

Every decision you make doesn’t need to be run past nine people. Your life isn’t a committee meeting. For most things, you only need your own permission. And if it feels a bit awkward, good. You’re likely moving in a direction that’s stretching you. Move faster. Stop waiting around for approval. Act now and ask for forgiveness later.

The beautiful shortness of life

Life isn’t long, so stop treating it like time is an infinite resource. We do this mainly because everyone else shuffles around like they’ve lost all hope. But they’re not you. You’re an enthused being with the spark still in you. Remind yourself today of the beautiful shortness of life. Turn away from life as a languid stretch and focus on every lucid inch.

What we all can do

To hold our tongues when everyone is gossiping, to smile without hostility at people and institutions, to compensate for the shortage of love in the world with more love in small, private matters; to be more faithful in our work, to show greater patience, to forgo the cheap revenge obtainable from mockery and criticism: all these are things we can do.

We can't all dramatically save the world

The greatest danger to our future is apathy. We can't all dramatically save the world, but we can each make a small difference, and those small differences add up. Every single person makes an impact on the planet every single day. The question is: What kind of impact do you want to make?

People frequently get what they deserve

People frequently get what they deserve, but it doesn't feel like it because the unspoken rule is that you only deserve it if you have (1) the courage to attempt it, (2) the guts to ask for it, and (3) the willingness try again when it doesn't work out the first time.

One suggestion that has helped me tremendously

One suggestion that has helped me tremendously is: Don’t start (or end) your day by checking the news on your phone.

What should I do?

 I don’t want to feel numb. What should I do? Something. Anything. And then do some more something again. That’s all we can ever do always.

Do it quietly

When you decide to do something, learn something, change something, build something, or become something: do it quietly—at least at first.

If you are fortunate

If you are fortunate, a fantastic way to share your fortune is to gift a friend the cost of travel with you. You both will have a great time.

The most significant criteria

The most significant criterion for selecting travel companions is: do they complain or not, even when their complaints are justified. No complaining! Complaints are for the debriefing afterward when travel is over.

Conserve energy now

At certain times in your life, there are going to be subtle, hidden, external forces conspiring against you—pulling you further away from your desired destination. In these moments, your instincts will tell you to fight back against those forces. You'll breathe faster, push harder, and strain against them. Perhaps the best course of action is to conserve energy now and deploy it more effectively later.

The time you spend comparing yourself

The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is to you from yesterday.

Waiting for perfect conditions

Waiting for perfect conditions is how otherwise intelligent people keep themselves stuck. Two entrepreneurs spot the same opportunity. One builds elaborate plans; the other tests crude prototypes. The planner is still planning when the tester sells their company. While you wait for perfect conditions, others are creating them.

It’s probably too late to easily undo it

There’s a delay between the time something goes wrong and when we notice it. Sometimes, it can take years. It helps to acknowledge that by the time we notice something, it’s probably too late to easily undo it, and our work involves ameliorating the damage instead.

All of it, all at once

The smartphone is the most expensive device most people own, and the one they use the most. Here’s everything you can’t have, can’t afford and won’t get, right here. Here’s everyone you want to argue with, one click away. Here is every piece of bad news we can imagine, much of it imagined instead of real. Connection is powerful and magical. It’s also enervating, subject to manipulation and addictive.

Everything you are given is material for the next move

People can sometimes be held hostage by their expectations. They have a dream of something they would like to achieve or a path they intend to follow, but their mindset falls apart when things don't work out how they had hoped. The key is to reach for an extremely high bar but to be adaptable enough to reframe the failures, disappointments, and defeats into fuel for the next thing. Give your best effort, but no matter how it works out, trust that life will be good for you. Focus on how the world is working with you, not against you. Everything you are given is material for the next move. Everything.

When you get into a tight place

When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you till it seems you can't hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that's just the place and time that the tide'll turn.

Industries are small

The world is big, but industries are small. After a few years, everyone comes to know the quality of your work. Reputation matters.

On funerals, loss, grief, friendship, and support

It's not about knowing what to say. It's about being there when nobody knows what to say. People only need to hear, "You are not alone." And that doesn't require words. It just requires your presence.

The only thing that matters now

A surefire way to make a bad situation worse is to continue replaying it in your mind. The damage is done. The only thing that matters now is making the best choice given your current position.

Adaptability is the way of consistency.

Consistency is about being adaptable. Don't have much time? Scale it down. Don't have much energy? Do the easy version. Find different ways to show up depending on the circumstances. Let your habits change shape to meet the demands of the day.

You should continuously have mentors

In any aspect of life, if you can pull it off, you should continuously have mentors and offer mentorship. This can be as formal or informal as you want.

I know how to spot real confidence

I know how to spot real confidence. Look for people who are fluid with status—who allow themselves to be the butt of a joke, or accept criticism, but also avoid false modesty, and inhabit the spotlight when it falls on them. One might call this a balance between dignity and humility. Pro tip: people who always cling to high status aren’t confident in the normal sense, they are cult leader types, which is a different animal.

Radically change your environment

Environmental influence is the most effective form of behavioral control. Accordingly, if you want radical change, radically change your environment. Being in the wrong city will cancel out years of self-improvement.

Talent doesn’t feel like you’re amazing

Talent doesn’t feel like you’re amazing. It feels like the difficulties that trouble others are mysteriously absent in your case. Don’t ask yourself where your true gifts lie. Ask what other people seem weirdly bad at.

People really and truly cannot read your mind

People really and truly cannot read your mind. It’s easy to think that people are ignoring your wants or emotions because they don’t care about you. But they likely have no idea what those are. If you’ve told them, they’ve likely forgotten, and may need a reminder — they have their own whole crowded bubble of consciousness going on!

To have relationships with both kinds

The people who will make you feel warm and fuzzy when you’re sad, and the people who will give you brutally honest feedback, are usually different people. Ideally, you want to have relationships with both kinds, and reward them for their strengths, rather than getting mad at them for failing to do what they’re bad at.

Be soft in your practice

Be soft in your practice. Think of the method as a fine silvery stream, not a raging waterfall. Follow the stream, and have faith in its course. It will go its own way, meandering here, trickling there. It will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices. Just follow it. Never let it out of your sight. It will take you.

You simply need to chill the fock out

You don't need to sit in a dark room conjuring up clever stories to rewire your brain so you become some wizard overnight. You simply need to chill the fock out. The secret isn't in a new story. It's in letting go of the need to be clever. The smartest thing you need to do is to get back to your present life.

Broken systems need your help

If your intention is to make things better, organizing the disorganized, connecting the disconnected and building community, you shouldn’t wait until the conditions are ideal. Broken systems need your help precisely because they’re broken.

Perfect days don't compound

Great outcomes aren't built on great days but on consistent ones. You can't just count the days when it's easy. Each day moves you closer to the goal. No day is a hero; no day is a villain. Perfect days don't compound. Consistent ones do.

No one hears you

No one hears you if you sneeze in the middle of Dhaka. But if you sneeze in a library, everyone does. The same concept applies to work. It's better to dominate a small pond than drown in an ocean.

Being brilliant won't save you

Being brilliant won't save you if no one can count on you. It can be hard to appreciate just how much reliability impacts opportunity. It's fun to outperform people who are way smarter than you by being more reliable than they are. Reliability isn't just a virtue - it's a competitive advantage that compounds over time.

There is no single magic bullet

People are always looking for a single magic bullet that will completely change everything. There is no single magic bullet. Progress is about bridging the gap between what we observe and what we can imagine — one careful step at a time.

The source of healthy boundaries

Caring about everything is a disaster. Caring about nothing is also a disaster. Nurture the small pocket of things that truly matter to you. The source of healthy boundaries is self-love and self-respect. When you learn to love yourself, you are less likely to put up with people who don't love you back.

Savor the little victories

Savor the little victories as much as you criticize the little mistakes. At any moment, you are one good choice away from a meaningfully better life.

What good things have you done quietly today?

Bad things are always happening loudly: the injury, the flat tire, the mistake that gets you criticized. Everybody talks about the moments that make things a hassle. Good things always happen quietly: the completed workout, the healthy meal, the ten minutes of writing. Nobody talks about the little moments that add up.

There are many ways to prioritize our time

There are many ways to prioritize our time and focus, but the easiest and most vivid way is to do the urgent things first. We thrive when we do things when we have the most leverage, not when everyone else does. Waiting for trouble means you’ll spend your days dealing with trouble.

Relationships Should Be Voluntary, Not Obligatory

Healthy relationships are based on mutual benefit and choice, not obligation or sacrifice. You owe others respect but not your freedom. This idea was massive for me. I see so many people suffering in relationships because it’s the ‘done thing.’ No, it isn’t. You’re not a sacrificial lamb. Reevaluate relationships where you feel trapped or resentful. Only prioritize connections that enhance your freedom and joy.

Message a friend

Forget yourself for a moment, and turn your attention outward. Message someone without expectation. Do it to lift them up. Now you will be lifted.

Micro-journal

Write exactly three bullets at the end of each day:

- One thing you noticed
- One thing you learned
- One thing you’re curious about

This takes 30 seconds, but after a year, you’ll have 365 observations that drive you forward.

Take 5 breaths

Forget the nonsense about deep breaths. That just sucks in more CO2 and makes you light-headed. Instead, take five in-and-out shallow breaths through the nose. This will center you like little else, helping your mind so you make better decisions.

Develop the skill of strategic detachment

When was the last time you wished things were different to the way things were? Not a great vibe is it Attachment to outcomes is the literal formula for suffering. So, to live a life with far less suffering, detach yourself as needed.

People respect those who maintain control

The essence of ‘control’ here is non-reactivity. Bearly anyone gets this. Think of those tough guys who think they’re cool because they exhibit their rage to make a point. Those who act on their negative emotions are out of control. Staying calm in tough moments or after being judged is a tremendous skill and not easy for most. If you can be the calm in the storm, people will follow you.

People trust those who take their time

Don’t rush, and don’t give it all away too soon. People value what they have to wait for. When you appear eager for things, this often puts people off. Yes, stay hungry — be obsessed in pursuit of your dreams. But take your time for the things that require patience.

We’re all narcissists

Narcissism is thrown about as a highly unsavory trait these days to nauseating levels. We get it. But what no one is willing to admit is that they, too, possess a healthy dose of narcissism. We all do. Play to this by being a mirror. People love to see themselves in what you do and trust those who seem similar to them. Find common ground. Match their energy. Reflect their values back to them, and they will fall in love with what you represent.

People love feeling important

Instead of piling on fake flattery, find something about others you’re genuinely interested in. Ask them questions. At a wider scale, demonstrate how you understand their problems. The beauty in this is that, although your attention is on them, they won’t forget you.

Challenging the status quo is difficult

Selfish is easy. Short-term is easy. Being complacent is easy. Turning our heads and ignoring the problem is easy. Going along to get along is easy. But easy isn’t the point. Better is. Challenging the status quo is difficult, and worth it.

Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with the same compassion you show others when they make mistakes. Instead of being harsh and self-critical, forgive yourself and offer support. Imagine how you would respond to a loved one in a similar situation and extend that kindness to yourself. Embrace self-compassion as a cleansing practice that nurtures your emotional well-being.

Develop Cognitive Agility

Avoid catastrophizing and jumping to the worst-case scenario. Train your mind to consider multiple perspectives and possibilities before focusing on one. Use the "Putting It In Perspective" exercise to generate alternative scenarios and place them on a continuum from worst to best. Assess the most realistic options, realizing that your initial reaction may exaggerate the situation's severity. Sharpen your Occam's Razor and choose the most likely explanation.

Optimism can fuel your resilience

See setbacks as temporary, local, and controllable. Cultivate an optimistic perspective by engaging in the "Best Possible Self" exercise. Imagine a future where everything has gone right and write about it for 10 minutes. Believe that things will work out and keep trying. Optimism can fuel your resilience and keep you going, even in challenging times.

Master Emotional Regulation

When emotions run high, take a step back and create space between your emotions and your actions. Identify and name your emotions, realizing that they are separate from who you are. Focus on your body to ground yourself in reality. Then, use logical reasoning to question the validity of your emotions and reevaluate the situation. Slowing down and reappraising will help you make smart decisions and regain control.

What is the most important thing?

Know and own what matters most to you. Then, you can make decisions and take actions that align with your priorities.

What does your ideal day look like?

Take an inventory of the most enjoyable and satisfying days of your life. What did you do? Why did you like them? Be sure that your job, personal life, and even the place you've chosen to live takes you towards these, not away from them.

Who do you spend time with?

Your environment influences who you become, so choose your surroundings wisely. Think about your friends and colleagues: do they inspire you, validate you, or drag you down?

Margin of safety

The margin of safety is a secret weapon. It’s the buffer, the extra capacity, the redundancy that you build into a system to handle unexpected stress. It’s the difference between a bridge that can barely handle the expected load and one that can hold ten times that load without breaking a sweat. You can apply a margin of safety to any area of life with risk. The key is always asking yourself: What if I’m wrong? What if things don’t go as planned?

Decisions are easy, choices are hard

A good decision is our best analysis of the facts, options and risks. If it’s too close to call, flip a coin, because it’s too close to call. On the other hand, a choice involves understanding our priorities, evaluating our preference for risk and sometimes, changing our minds. None of these are easy. If we face a difficult choice, it’s helpful to stop thinking about it as a decision. It’s a choice. Decisions are strategic, choices are personal.

The little things you enjoy, do them for someone else

If you feel relief when someone asks a question in class, then other students are probably relieved too. Be the one who asks. If you love it when a friend calls to check in, your friends probably love it too. Be the one who calls. If it makes your whole day when someone compliments your outfit, other people probably love it too. Give out more compliments.

The more you think about the situation

When you feel tense or frustrated or worried, it is difficult to think your way into feeling better. The more you think about the situation, the larger it becomes in your mind. Trying to think your way out of it often leads to a spiral of overthinking and rumination. The first step is not to think something different, but to do something different. It doesn’t matter what. Stretch on the floor, go for a walk, work on a project. Get out of your mind and move your body.

After you have exhausted

After you have exhausted what there is in business, politics, conviviality, love, and so on—have found that none of these finally satisfy, or permanently wear—what remains? Nature remains; to bring out from their torpid recesses, the affinities of a man or woman with the open air, the trees, fields, and the changes of seasons—the sun by day and the stars of heaven by night.

The role of the artist

The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.

The most daring prophecies

If we have learned one thing from the history of invention and discovery, it is that the most daring prophecies seem laughably conservative in the long run—and often in the short one.

Emotional about enlightening teachings

If you forget your feelings about things, they become enlightening teachings. If you get emotional about enlightening teachings, they become worldly.

Life isn’t trying to defeat you.

When life gets tough, some of us feel that we’ve lost the game and life has won. But life isn’t trying to defeat you. Life isn’t even a participant—the game is yours.

A tea gathering

Sure, you can have a hundred tea ceremonies. You can ever have them all with the same people. But you can only have that ceremony, that cup of tea, once. Then the moment evaporates forever.

The mediocrity trap

About half of my friends kind of hate their jobs, so they're moderately unhappy most of the time, but never unhappy enough to leave. This is the mediocrity trap: situations that are bad-but-not-too-bad keep you forever in their orbit because they never inspire the frustration it takes to achieve escape velocity.

You are waiting for jackpot

You are waiting for jackpot, refusing to do anything until an option arises that dominates all other options on all dimensions. Strangely, this never seems to happen.

Calendars are a choice

Humans are unique. We give names to the days of the week (we even have weeks). We eat something different for breakfast than dinner. We chronicle the passage of time. In fact, our chronicling of time is what makes it noticeable.

The system has fingerprints

We all make mistakes. We all do things that we then realize weren’t in our interest, or useful to the community. If we do it a second time, it’s worth taking a hard look at the system that set us up for failure. How did the system get here? Who benefits? When we can see the system, we have a chance to fix it.