Take yourself out for a meal alone once each month

Take yourself out for a meal alone once each month. Carry a notebook and pen, bring your favorite book, and leave your phone in your bag. Let your mind run free. Flex that boredom muscle. It’s insanely freeing—a meditative experience.

Be bored for at least 15 minutes per day

Be bored for at least 15 minutes per day. “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal. We’ve completely forgotten how to be bored, but it’s a tremendous unlock for creativity and mindfulness.

Who is editing your version?

Even the longest biography is only 66 hours of audio. This means that the author has to leave out almost everything. We write our own autobiography each day by deciding what to focus on, what to rehash, and what to worry about. The same life story can be told in many ways, and the way we tell it changes who we are and who we become.

My mission statement

On earth, we have a short time to make our mark, so I want to live each day with purpose. I want to leave people better for having met me. I am a problem solver, connector, and creator, so I will use these skills to live with no regrets.

Learn which questions are unanswerable

To learn which questions are unanswerable, and not to answer them: this skill is most needful in times of stress and darkness.

Introspection Illusion is a cognitive bias

Introspection Illusion is a cognitive bias that says that we assume that we have insights into why we act, choose, and think the way we do, but don't believe that others have the same introspective capacities. Classic egotism at play.

​List One Task, Do It, Cross It Out

The strategy:

Grab a piece of paper and a pen.

Write down ONE THING that would be good to get done right now.

Do it.

Cross it off.

Repeat the process.

Give it a shot the next time you find yourself in a rut.

Imperfection is beauty

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. The world will work very hard to try to force you to be normal. Fight back.

Risk is an essential need of the soul

Risk is an essential need of the soul. The absence of risk produces a kind of boredom that paralyzes in a different way from fear, but almost as much.

Happiness is simply the absence of desire

Happiness is simply the absence of desire... Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure (which is joy or satisfaction), but about the lack of desire. It arrives when you have no urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer want to change your state.

The longer you're in the game

It is nearly impossible to have your best idea the first time you think about something. The most likely way to uncover important insights is to frequently revisit a problem. The longer you're in the game, the more ideas bubble up to the surface.

Identify what needs to be done

You know, when you get your head out of the busyness for a moment — you know when you’re avoiding what needs to be done. Identify what needs to be done. Often, it can make us uncomfortable and nervous. But these are things you need to do more than anything. Information is powerful, but only through action can your genius be realized.

A creative life is an amplified life

A creative life is an amplified life. It's a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life.

Noise Cancellation

The world is a noisy place. We are constantly hammered by stimuli competing for our attention. The ability to cancel out the noise - to truly focus on the task at hand - is both broadly applicable and extremely powerful.

Relentless Consistency

Many people are able to produce bursts of energy. Few people are able to produce consistent, steady flows of energy. The former might be flashy, but the latter is relentless. Take pride in punching the clock - in showing up - day in, day out.

When you are with someone

With the rise of technology - and the instant access to millions of people and things that it has provided - the ability to be truly present has become a rarity. When you are with someone - whether a new business contact, friend or partner - be with them. Be Present.

High Tolerance for Failure

We fear failure, so most of us play it safe to avoid it. But our greatest moments of growth often stem directly from our greatest failures. Do not accept failure, but do not fear it either. You will fail. Embrace it. Learn to fail smart and fast.

Comfort with Discomfort

We are conditioned to avoid discomfort, so most of us do. The problem? Discomfort leads to growth. It is an absolute necessity. If you train yourself to accept and embrace discomfort, you will always have an edge.

Intellectual Curiosity

Intellectual curiosity is a real-world superpower. We all have it, but most will never embrace it. For the curious mind, anything is possible. Fortune favors the curious mind.

The idea is to sprint downhill, not grind uphill

Look for situations where the energy is already flowing downhill. Invest in relationships where there is already mutual respect. Create products that tap into a desire people already have. Work on projects that play to your strengths. And then, once the potential of the situation is already working for you, add fuel to the fire. Pour yourself into the craft. Act as if you have to outwork everyone else—even though the wind is at your back. 

They knock on silence for an answering music

Creative people, as I see them, are distinguished by the fact that they can live with anxiety, even though a high price may be paid in terms of insecurity, sensitivity, and defenselessness for the gift of the ‘divine madness,’ to borrow the term used by the classical Greeks. They do not run away from non-being, but by encountering and wrestling with it, force it to produce being. They knock on silence for an answering music; they pursue meaninglessness until they can force it to mean.

You have to act as if you are a force of nature

Nobody accomplishes anything significant alone. But nobody accomplishes anything significant by accident either. Just because you need others doesn't mean you can wait for others to make it happen. You have to act as if you are a force of nature and try to bend the universe in your desired direction—while remaining pleasant and open to help along the way.

It only takes five minutes to break the cycle

Five minutes of exercise and you are back on the path. Five minutes of writing and the manuscript is moving forward again. Five minutes of conversation and the relationship is restored. It doesn't take much to feel good again.

The edge usually goes to the curious and empathic

In a competition between someone who knows the most and someone who is willing to learn the most, the edge usually goes to the curious and empathic professional, not the one who is simply protecting what’s already known.

Employ your energy elsewhere

If told your efforts will never be sufficient, or that your work is vaguely less-than-ideal, employ your energy elsewhere. Such taunts are only made by those who fear your already obvious talents and are utterly terrified by your infinite capacity to augment them.

Nobody is coming to save you but you

Let die the old ways which do not serve you. Conjure from your electric heart and from your spine of gold the words that may forge a new era. Appoint yourself the maker of new traditions and the speaker of the timeless truth. 

Happy Birthday, Learner.

Sonder more to be less cranky

Sonder: to realize that everybody on Earth is living a life as complicated, intense, and vibrantly unique as your own. It’s that feeling you get when you realize that you’re not IN traffic—you ARE traffic. Visually, that word is an iceberg: with what we see about other people above the waterline, while what’s really happening is submerged below.

Refuse all guilt linked to pleasure

Refuse all guilt linked to pleasure. Enjoy the things you treasure without caring if anybody else thinks they’re trash.

We rationalize staying in the wrong places

No perceived relationship, job, philosophy, or held position is entirely helpful or entirely hurtful. But your scales constantly wobble toward the emotions that are prompted by the reality of your situation. We rationalize staying in the wrong places when we can’t imagine what a better place looks like.

The act of teaching is the most powerful form of learning

When you're trying to learn something new, attempt to teach it to a friend or family member. See what questions they ask and how those questions expose the gaps in your knowledge. Study more to fill in those gaps. The act of teaching is the most powerful form of learning.

We are all participating in creating the mythology of our time

We are all participating in creating the mythology of our time. It is our responsibility to create a future where people, objects, systems  —  anything — can be allowed to thrive not in spite of, but because of imperfections.

But how will it fail?

The wrong answer is, “it won’t.”

If you buy a piece of tech, it will break. If you buy an asset of some sort, it’s likely to go down in value one day. If you start a project, you will one day walk away from it. And everything that is alive will die. Refusing to answer the question doesn’t make it more likely that it won’t fail. All it does is make the failure more painful.

Learning is the foundation of the human experience

Learning is the foundation of the human experience. When we are young, we don't know any better and end up with a "self" that has been programmed into our minds. Learned from our environment. Learning, through any medium, influence our thoughts. Especially if what we are learning is repeated, or conditioned, into our heads. Our thoughts influence behavior. Meaning, anything that you learn or consume shapes who you are and how you act in this world.

Your perspective is the frame from which you perceive reality

Your perspective is the frame from which you perceive reality. Like a camera. The field of view, even if the background is blurred, constrains what registers in the frame itself. By manipulating your perspective in any situation, you can perceive what used to be problematic as a minor road bump.

The main spiritual problem is that people never change

In the real world, the main spiritual problem is that people never change. They identify with beliefs, their job, and the life path that impressed them. Their ego never changes, because it doesn't want to. Once they've reached that point in life, they cease to learn, stack skills, and "level up" to the point of more opportunities being available to them. By improving your skill set, you are able to take on more complex challenges in life. By taking on more challenges, you acquire the knowledge and experience that expands your awareness.

You can create a game out of any situation in life

What few understand is that you can create a game out of any situation in life. If you can mold your mind to create a fun game, life becomes enjoyable. If you can't, your mind will be molded into playing societal status games. Going to college, getting a high-paying job, or taking another structured approach to life eases the initial suffering that sovereign living implies.

Asking what makes someone successful

Asking what makes someone successful is like asking which ingredient makes a recipe taste good. It’s not any single ingredient. It is the combination of many ingredients in the right proportions and in the right order—and the absence of anything that would ruin the mixture.

How long is “never”?

It changes. It changes as we age, and it changes depending on the situation. A second-grader might think that a boring class is never going to end. A bad cold might feel endless unless we have the perspective of someone who has experienced a chronic problem. Some things actually deserve “never.” But most of what we’re worried about probably would be better categorized as “eventually.”

An antidote

Gratitude might be the way forward. So much of what ails us gets a bit better when we say ‘thank you.’ Even when it’s hard. Especially then.

You have to commit to continually improve

The idea that you need to spend a very long time working at anything before you become an expert makes obvious sense. But people sometimes assume a corollary – that anyone can become expert simply by spending that amount of time. Ten thousand hours may be a necessary condition for becoming expert, but hours alone are not sufficient. Lots of people spend all that time but don’t become expert. You have to commit to continually improve.

Don't stick to a path that is no longer worth pursuing

Anytime you stay mired in a losing endeavor, that is when you are slowing your progress. Anytime you stick to something when there are better opportunities out there, that is when you are slowing your progress. Contrary to popular belief, quitting will get you to where you want to go faster.

Tendency to think they will have more time

People have a tendency to think they will have more time available one month from today than they have today, so they say yes to things now, assuming they'll have the time later. This leads them to take on new commitments that they shouldn't—meaning they say "Yes" and then later say "Damn!"

An infinite game is played to keep playing

A finite game is played to win; there are clear victors and losers. An infinite game is played to keep playing; the goal is to maximize winning across all participants. Debate is a finite game. Marriage is an infinite game. A great deal of unnecessary suffering in the world comes from not knowing the difference.

Not all progress is visible

Not all progress is visible. Don’t beat yourself up when things aren’t visible. One workout won't make you fit, but it is better than no workout. A small deposit in your savings today won’t get you to your goal, but it moves you closer. The daily grind is part of the process.

Taking responsibility is a better signal than whining

People with confidence, power, and reserves are able to admit when they are wrong, when things aren’t working and when it doesn’t turn out the way they hoped. If you’re hoping to demonstrate power, confidence, or status, taking responsibility is a better signal than whining.

How will you spend today’s tickets?

While it’s tempting to view our days as an amusement park with unlimited rides, that’s not really true. It might not maximize our impact or enjoyment either. In fact, we each have a limited number of tickets to trade in. Limited time, limited opportunities, limited money, and other resources. How will you spend today’s tickets?

Most daily actions evaporate

One of the simplest ways to win is to always connect the small things you do to the larger thing you hope to accomplish. Five minutes can be spent working on something trivial or working on something life-changing. A brief session of work-oriented toward a great cause is always time well spent. Most daily actions evaporate. Some accumulate.

You never have it fully licked

One good day does not mean you can coast tomorrow. You never have it fully licked. Making good choices is an endless process. Many areas of life that we value most—our relationships, our fitness, our craft—require a continual commitment.

Identify your MAIN energy drain

There’s always one thing that consistently drains the energy that we can pick out as currently more significant than the rest. Maybe it’s a vice you run to for its short-term hit that ultimately makes you feel hollow and tired in the longer term. It could be a friend you spend a lot of time with who is continually negative. You might spend a lot of time churning on worrying thoughts. It can take courage to confront what exactly this is, and it may take some reflection or note-taking to see what this is.

A great and eternal beauty passes through the whole world

What is small is not small in itself, just as that which is great is not—great. A great and eternal beauty passes through the whole world, and it is distributed fairly over that which is small and that which is large; for in such important and essential matters, no injustice is to be found on earth.

Be obsessed with doing things

Most of the planet is obsessed. But they’re obsessed with the world of illusion, hearsay, imagination, and opinion. Nothing is real here, and we can easily frighten ourselves when we spend considerable time in this space. Instead, be unreasonably biased to taking actions, even if they’re small and seemingly inconsequential. Take note of the things that make you nervous, and immediately take small, doable steps toward these fears. Relentless action is the soothing balm to all your fears.

Project your voice

How we behave defines how we feel about ourselves. You needn’t talk all the time. In fact, talking less is a sign you’re comfortable in your skin and aren’t compelled to prove yourself out of insecurity. But when we do talk, and we say it assertively, this communicates something very clearly, both to the world and yourself: I am confident in who I am.

Habits are not needs

It’s easy to imagine that they are, as it lets us off the hook as habits become negative, or even addictions. If someone else is thriving without the habit we seem to need, then it’s likely a desire pretending to be a need. For example, You can be a successful professional without spending time on social media.

Do you need to start or finish?

In some areas of life, value is unlocked by starting. Even a five-minute workout or a short walk can reset your mood and benefit your body. In other areas, value is unlocked by finishing. It does you no good to build a bridge halfway across the river. You need to complete the project to realize its value.

Do you need to start or finish?

Are you building a body or building a bridge?

The ultimate form of preparation

The ultimate form of preparation is not planning for a specific scenario, but a mindset that can handle uncertainty.

Respect, feeling useful, and control over their time

People have vastly different desires, except for three things: Respect, feeling useful, and control over their time. Those are nearly universal.

Focus on your next three

You're holding the things you think you need to get done in your head all at once. This overwhelms you. But it's in the mind. In reality, all we ever have is the one thing right in front of us. So pay attention to the delicious beauty of the present moment. Identify your next 1-3 priorities.

Replace worrying with weird, forced laughter

Worrying is one of our biggest soul killers and it never does us any good. Try this. When you feel worry coming on, and you have a strong urge to immerse yourself in negative thoughts, laugh. Chuckle like a freak clown who’s just received his paycheck. This trains the mind to associate worry with fun. You can’t lose.

Do fewer things masterfully

It’s nearly impossible to be scared when you’ve done the reps. No one was born a magnificent TED speaker. They decided to do something cool and committed to practising it. A lot. This is why you get people who are the lamest nerds one year and a crowd-dazzler the next. Make it easier on yourself. Choose to focus on less. And become so good you can’t wait for the world to experience your brilliance.

Feel your way into uncertainty.

Most of us scaredy-cats think our way into an unknown future, take one sniff, and fuck off out of there sharpish. Why? Because we’re in our heads, listening to our bizarre opinions about what we think might happen. They’re wrong. Let go of these thoughts, and find a way to bring sexy heat to your next steps.

Busy is a decision

We do the things we want to do, period. If we say we are too busy, it is just shorthand for the thing being "not important enough" or "not a priority." Busy is not a badge. You don’t find the time to make things, you make the time to do things.

Go and love someone exactly as they are

Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.

The obligation of the honest skeptic

Objections are helpful. We object by holding back action or support because we question one or more pieces of data. But the other half of this is the obligation: if the data ends up meeting the standard of proof we set for it, we have to change our minds and spend as much energy supporting the idea as we did to oppose it.

How many good days?

Decisions and crises and moments of significant effort and risk can be stressful. But the challenge of a stressful day is rarely directly related to today, it’s about tomorrow or years from now. This means that pushing your way through some critical choices now will probably pay off in far more good days later. How many good days later does hard decision work today earn us?

Some problems lend themselves to reexamination

Some problems lend themselves to reexamination. A second, third, or even fourth thought is productive because our initial impulses might not reflect our best effort at understanding the nuances of the situation. But many problems simply create more thoughts, without productive output. As we confront something that is unlikely to have a simple or productive way forward, it’s easy to go into a mental tizzy imagining solutions. The art is understanding which sort of problem we’re facing. And devoting the right amount of thought (not less and definitely not more) to the situation we’re in. Spending cycles on categorizing the problem is probably more productive than wasting time on problems that don’t deserve our effort.

People don’t know what we know, and don’t believe what we believe

How is it possible, we wonder, that people like us don’t believe what we believe or do what we do? Not just people we don’t know, but the people we do know. Simply asking the question helps us find a way forward. Realizing that people don’t know what we know, and don’t believe what we believe. And most of all, they have a noise in their head, just as we do.

Compared to what

Satisfaction is often driven by the story we tell ourselves. How does this rank compare to what I expected? Compared to what I used to have? Compared to the person sitting next to me? The richest person in the world used to sleep on the floor and eat moldy food but still felt great because it was more than the person in the next cave. The good news is that our perception of comparison is up to us.

If you try to do way too much exercise

If you try to do way too much exercise or move way too much weight you will injure yourself. This injury will lead to chronic pain that is outside of your control and will prevent you from having any agency with that part of your body. Similarly, if you experience psychological struggles that overwhelm you, you’ll be traumatized and you will experience chronic psychological pain and feel debilitated in that area (or in many areas) of your life.

If you never move your body or strain your muscles

If you never move your body or strain your muscles, you will become soft and weak, and fragile. You’re more prone to injury. You have the less physical power to keep yourself safe and healthy. In the same way, if you never mentally or emotionally challenge yourself, you will also become weak and fragile. You’ll be more easily upset and emotionally triggered by the world around you. You’ll have the less psychological strength to keep yourself safe and healthy.

Without reservations

I’m not sure we have a common word for this. “Yes” can mean, “Yes, I’m prepared to do the minimum” or it could mean, “Yes, this commitment is something I wholeheartedly embrace and will devote myself to exceeding expectations at every turn.” Life’s way better if we find partnerships that are the second kind. “All in” is rare, but it actually means something.

The fixed mind becomes a relic

When we lose our ability to adapt, move with the environment, tolerate new beliefs, and reshape our old ones, our mind is at risk of becoming outdated. The fixed mind becomes a relic.

Sports train you to face your fear

One of the great gifts of sports is learning how to fail in public. People never go to the gym because they're scared of looking stupid, never share their writing because they're scared of judgment, and never open their hearts because they're scared of rejection.

When you disagree with someone

When you disagree with someone more powerful than you, you should always have a constructive reason to oppose.

Good writing requires good thinking

The best way to improve your ability to think is to spend time thinking. One way to force yourself to slow down and think is to write. Good writing requires good thinking. Clear writing gives poor thinking nowhere to hide, making a lack of understanding visible.

We can select truths that engage people and inspire action

We can select truths that engage people and inspire action, or we can deploy truths that deliberately mislead. Truth comes in many forms, and experienced communicators can exploit its variability to shape our impression of reality.

There are different ways to speak the truth

Truth is not as straightforward as it seems. There are different ways to speak the truth, but not all of them are honest. On most issues, there are multiple truths we can choose to communicate. Our choice of truth will influence how those around us perceive an issue and react to it.

I give myself a chance to mourn

I have this rule about grieving. When something terrible happens to me, I give myself a chance to mourn for a fixed period of time, then I end it and move on. We don’t get to decide what happens to us, but we get to decide how to deal with it. 

We often think we have to do it alone

We often think we have to do it alone, but accountability is important for succeeding in your own race. Having allies means having supporters and cheerleaders to help you. These are people you can bounce ideas off of, turn to for support through challenges, and get inspiration from when you face uncertainty.

When you can set a concrete goal

You are much more likely to achieve what you want when you can set a concrete goal and figure out what it will take to get there. When you have this plan to guide you, you can take the steps you need to achieve success—whatever that looks like for you.

Many of us ignore the shortness of life

Life is simultaneously both very long and very short. Many of us ignore the shortness of life: We then get caught up in the stresses and fail to recognize that our precious days are slowly fluttering away. Our time is finite, but we often fail to recognize it until it's too late. Remember that you must die. Memento Mori.

Curiosity can be your guide

Life is a mysterious expanse that we're tossed into without a flashlight or guide. We hope that our parents, family, friends, or mentors can help, but the reality is that we have to figure most of it out on our own. Curiosity can be your guide—but only if you embrace it.

Question the assumptions

Learn to question the basis of anything that doesn't feel right to you. Don't chart your course through life based on someone else's map. Question the assumptions. Develop your own views.

Independent thinking is a rare superpower of the modern age.

To carve your own path—in your career or life—you have to develop your own views. You can't be constrained by the way things have always been done—by the false tradeoffs or base assumptions that others have told you to believe.

We are allowed to have fun every single day

You can turn around a bad day instantly because of who you are and the strength you can easily access. We are allowed to have fun every single day. Don’t allow your thoughts or someone else to take that from you.

One of the difficult things about making decisions

One of the difficult things about making decisions is it reduces opportunity in the short-term, but that’s the only thing that really creates great opportunity in the long term.

They do worse than dumb people

A lot of smart people think they’re way smarter than they are, and therefore they do worse than dumb people. And it’s very common to be utterly brilliant and think you’re way the hell smarter than you are.

A schedule defends chaos and whim

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days.

Do not wish away the difficult portions of life

The brilliance of the stars would be invisible without the vast darkness of space behind them. Do not wish away the difficult portions of life. They provide the contrast needed to appreciate the joyful moments.

Choosing which game to play

In sports, one of the primary sources of advantage is choosing how to play the game. In life, one of the primary sources of advantage is choosing which game to play.

Social Pressure

It’s normal to feel it. It changes our careers, our dress, and even the way we live our lives. The question is: is it caused by external or internal forces? More often than not, it’s simply something we invent. The people we imagine are busy watching and judging us might not even know we exist. Social pressure is something we make up to simplify our decisions.

when you're first starting out, be self-promotional

If you're proud of your efforts on something, be proud to talk about it. Genuine pride is infectious. When you've put in the work, energy, and love, share it with the world. If you're not willing to promote your work, why should anyone else be?

We have to avoid being dogmatic about our plans

Plans have to be dynamic and punch proof! We have to avoid being dogmatic about our plans. If the facts on the ground change, our plans have to as well. How many wars have been lost by generals who were unwilling to change their plans in the face of an adapting enemy? Stubborn attachment never got anyone anywhere worth going. You'll only go as far as your ability to absorb blows and pivot on the fly.

Continuous improvement is always the way

Just because something isn't broken, doesn't mean it can't be improved. Continuous improvement is always the way. No matter how good you are, focus on small, incremental improvements—day in, day out.

When we open up to those around us

When we open up to those around us, we stimulate, learn, and grow. Knowledge and wisdom know no bounds. Open up to everyone and you'll be shocked at the light and luck you let into your life. As William Butler Yeats stated- 

"There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met." 

It's difficult to achieve anything worthwhile with a pessimistic view

Thinking about the worst possible outcomes when making decisions or taking no risks is no way to live. It's difficult to achieve anything worthwhile with a pessimistic view of life. Everything begins in the mind and then manifests itself outside.

Don't Be Risk Aversive

It can be easy to avoid risks and fall into your comfort zone. The biggest risk in life is not to take one. Don’t let life pass you by and regret that you didn’t do something later in life. Take a leap of faith and enjoy the highs and lows of life.

The moment in front of you right now is a good one

Today is a great opportunity, no matter your age. Looking back in a few years, today will seem like the time when you were young and full of potential or the moment when you could have started early, or the turning point when you made a choice that benefited your future.

The moment in front of you right now is a good one. Make the most of it.

The question is which one is the right answer for right now

Many times in life the question is not whether to do one thing or another, but when to emphasize one aspect or another. Rest or train? Research or write? Diversify or concentrate? Opposite answers can both be right. The question is which one is the right answer for right now.

Lucky opportunities tend to be stumbled upon, not handed out.

If you're waiting for someone to hand deliver an excellent opportunity to you, it's unlikely to happen. But if you are exploring and moving—if you're in the mix and engaged—then you'll stumble upon many opportunities. The active mind comes across a lot. Keep tilling the soil and you will occasionally unearth something wonderful.

Solve the most important problem you can personally impact

Picking problems to solve is a function of attention. Wherever and whatever you’re paying attention to is going to reveal problems in that domain to you. You only have one life; mindfully choose to work on the most important problems that you can solve.

If I can sign up with a few clicks

The law is simple to describe, fair and useful: It should be as easy to unsubscribe from an online service as it is to sign up. If I can sign up with a few clicks, I should be able to unsign up with a few clicks. Should work in other areas of life too.

Think twice before you interrupt time.

Thinking in decades avoids a lot of bad behavior. If you think about relationships lasting decades, you'll often handle the current moment differently. This works for co-workers, partners, suppliers, customers, friends, etc. Think twice before you interrupt time.

When you see someone doing something

When you see someone doing something that doesn’t make sense to you, ask yourself what the world would have to look like to you for those actions to make sense.

There have to be rules to enable a lot of people

There have to be rules to enable a lot of people to function together in a community or a company. But the more complicated the rules are, the harder they are to comply with. Complicated rules paralyze!

The effort is important

The effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference!

Power and authority aren’t often in the same place

Starting at the top seems like great advice. Deal with the people with power and authority. Except… Power and authority aren’t often in the same place. The real power is usually foundational. What happens when humans interact. The way things are around here. Often, the people who are ostensibly in charge are simply choosing from a few culturally acceptable choices, and those choices are dictated by the foundation. It might seem like a detour, but it’s actually the cause of change.

There’s no difference

There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, ‘Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,’ and an optimist who says, ‘Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.’ Either way, nothing happens.

How you react to feedback is a choice

Remember, how you react to feedback is a choice, and the power is in your hands. You can make small changes and then ask for additional feedback. You might also approach the person and share your intent. When you react, you’re making a proactive choice. By problem-solving your behavior, you can shift someone’s perception while staying true to your original intention.

Who cares?

No one cares - That happens rarely.

Someone cares - That happens all the time, and it’s at the heart of our work.

Everyone cares - Almost never.

Someone is enough. In fact, someone is the entire point.

Trust yourself to trust others

The less you trust others, the less you can be trusted. We often reflect outward, when we need to reflect inward. Build trust in yourself to learn to trust others.

The most direct way forward is to default to more respect

Who gets the benefit of the doubt? Who is treated with dignity?

You would think that this shouldn’t be scarce. When the pool of respect is widened, no one is harmed. And yet, cultural status roles have ingrained biases all around us. We’re now seeing a long overdue evaluation of unexamined norms, which aren’t, and shouldn’t be treated as “normal.” The most direct way forward is to default to more respect, simply because that’s what people deserve.

Each day is a lifetime

Each day is a lifetime. Live a good life today. There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself

Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences; all events are blessings given to us to learn from. There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden, or even your shower.

All friendships are built on the same foundations

All friendships are built on the same foundations of camaraderie, trust, and mutual respect. However, some friendships are meant to be deeper and more intricate and need more care. The best friendships are based on trust, reciprocity and fun.

The problem isn't that you're too busy

You are too busy, but that's not the problem. If you view being busy as the problem, there is no solution. You will always be too busy, and that will never change. Your work is never done. There is always more to be done, more that should be done, always more than can be done. The problem is that you're acting like a firefighter instead of a fire marshal.

Everything you do is done with the best of intentions

Give yourself some slack and remind yourself that everything you do is done with the best of intentions. You didn’t wake up this morning seeking to hurt another, did you? No. Even that edgy thing you shared online that may have hurt some feelings was done because you want to help. You know this. So stop giving yourself crap for something you said or did that was done out of love.

We’re all doing the best we can

We’re just humans following what our chaotic thoughts are telling us at any given moment. We need not make things personal. We don’t need to take everything so seriously. Instead, see through the personal thinking bullshit and you will find compassion. Both for yourself and others. We’re all doing the best we can given the thinking we have moment by moment.

Humans crave connection and appreciation

There have been a lot of studies about how praise affects children, but we give it less importance when we reach adulthood. We assume that once we grow up, it no longer matters. But humans crave connection and appreciation. We want recognition for our efforts. We want to hear others say, "I see you. I see the work you're doing, the impact you’re having, and I value it." 

If you do anything at the last minute

If you do anything at the last minute that takes more than a minute, you’re not organizing your project properly. The last minute is not a buffer zone, nor is it the moment to double-check your work. The last minute is simply sixty seconds to enjoy and to remind yourself that you successfully planned ahead. And, this is not about the minutes.

Be great in small ways

People are so busy wishing for more time and better resources that they fail to make the most of the time and resources they have. Be great in small ways and you may be surprised by what you've achieved within a year or two.

Know your alternatives.

Don’t risk ruin. Not even a small chance. You always have a choice. Remain aware of your alternatives. Has your current path become too expensive? Has a better option emerged?

The news is a war on our attention

Don’t read/watch the news. Skewed incentives. The news is a war on our attention. We are frightened of coming back to find out what else to be afraid of. This leads to availability bias and pessimism. Some of us are more afraid to fly than drive. Counteract the news with positive propaganda.

Not wanting something is as good as having it

Not wanting something is as good as having it. If you don’t want something, you’re just as satisfied as someone who has it. Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.

Wisdom and good advice are everywhere

Wisdom and good advice are everywhere, now more than ever. The person who needs advice might not actually want advice. They might simply want reassurance. Reassurance that their instincts are right, that they and they alone are the ones that can make a difference. We don’t have an advice shortage. We have a gap in selection and application.

You are the easiest person to fool

Eventually, everyone loses the battle with willpower. The only question is when. Never fool yourself, and remember that you are the easiest person to fool.

The most difficult thing is the decision to act

The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process, is its own reward.

When was the last time you thought of yourself as powerful?

We have an uncomfortable relationship with power. We see it in others, but we rarely ever associate it with ourselves. That's because we feel like we shouldn't want it. We're embarrassed to seek it out, and we'll use whatever euphemisms we can think of before we actually admit to anyone, "I want to have power." We think that makes us greedy, or narcissistic, so we let it be this elephant in the room that we never really talk about.

You will be interrupted, but you can choose to keep it brief.

Everyone gets distracted. In many ways, the real divide is between those who get back on track quickly and those who let interruptions expand into longer periods of inactivity.

Life presents an endless series of interruptions and distractions.

You will continually be pulled off course or asked to put out a fire created by someone else. People will disrespect your time and steal your attention—usually with no intention of malice, but simply because different people have different priorities.

Read the other side

Read the other side. Some of your fellow citizens have good reasons to believe something different than you do. I try to think sometimes about where are they right? Not are they wrong. You'll become a better thinker. And you earn peoples' respect. By telling the truth, being a team player. Team player doesn't mean you don't complain. It means you complain if we are doing something stupid.

You might not be trying well enough.

You usually succeed. You rarely feel like an imposter. You already know what you need to know. You’re confident it’s going to work- these are the clues that you might not be trying well enough.

Living life calmly isn’t always possible

Sometimes we need to be assertive, and alert to rapidly-changing situations. But for the most part, being calm isn’t a passive act. It is intentional. Calm people regularly commit and re-commit to a calm life. They rearrange their environments to maximize calm. They exert boundaries in their relationships to minimize stress.

We do not need to impress anyone

You provide real value, and you don’t even need to smile when administering your elixir.

Be genuine. Be real. Be valuable. That's it.

Conscientiously physically slower

When we slow down our movements and even how we talk physically, which we are all capable of doing, it’s like moving down a gear or two to match the speed of the present moment. Agitated people are often a gear or two too fast. As such, life comes at them very quickly and they have to do more to process everything.

Drip by drip makes a wave

We are primed to pay attention to things that happen in a thunderclap. But the events that change our culture often happen over time, distributed across parts of the population too small to notice. The first challenge is finding the focus and patience to work on the synchronized adoption of important ideas. And the second is to not sacrifice the larger goal in a frenzied hustle for the big break.

Embrace your freakery

After a while, most people stop being consistent because they begin to judge themselves as ‘weird.’ You’re consistent precisely because you aren’t normal. Embrace your freakery. Little good happens when you try to be like everyone else.

Do more

We have one life. We need to let go of the fear of annoying some people. It’s inevitable, but so is your genius. We are literally composed of the same creative energy that holds the moon in place. Why would you hold back?

Taking the first step

Taking the first step is the difference between actually pursuing your passion and just dreaming about it.

Systemic problems require systemic solutions

Systems almost never change voluntarily. They rarely change because some of the participants in the system decide that they would prefer new rules. Systems change when their inputs change and when the rules change. Every system we live with has already been altered by the needs of some of the people impacted by the system. As impacts grow, the number of people affected grows as well.

Making small changes to our questions

Making small changes to our questions can yield completely different answers. It all starts with reframing your approach so that you are not looking at the downside risk, but the upside opportunity.

We are bad at seeing our own blind spots

We are bad at seeing our own blind spots, and we have a difficult time looking at ourselves neutrally. This becomes a problem when we have to make an important or hard decision. When we can't see the flaws in our own judgment, we need to get an outside perspective. Start by finding somebody you trust, who has a good sense of who you are, and get their candid advice.

Identify your blind spots by talking to somebody who has distance from you. Talk off the top of your mind, without a script. Share your feelings in real-time. Then let them reflect on what they're hearing back from you. You may find that the answer suddenly becomes clear.

Prioritise light-heartedness

Even the people you envy are dealing with shit you don’t want. What happy people have in common is maintaining a continual need to keep things light. Most people are focused on their own miseries. Happy people transcend this and actively practice the art of light-heartedness.

Pick yourself up and move forward again

You will get days when you want to quit. But If you also want something better you have to push through, persevere, and believe in yourself and your journey. You can have a bad day, get a little discouraged, or even shed a tear. But then pick yourself up and move forward again.

The chase emphasizes the lack

A curious thing happens when we search for happiness: we become unhappy. If we’re knowingly pursuing the illusion of ‘happiness’, we are unwittingly communicating to ourselves that we’re - you guessed it - not happy. The chase emphasizes the lack.

Be ok with not knowing

Mostly no one knows what they’re doing. They may say they do, but they’re as in the dark as you are. I’m not kidding. The future doesn’t exist, and as humans, we wish it did, but it doesn’t. And that’s ok. Trying to pre-plan everything is destroying you. Stop. Be ok with not knowing. Chuckle to yourself at the futility of wishing things were different. You can’t change what can’t be changed, so why do you presume to have magical powers no one else has?

There are always more options

There are always more options. If exploring them is the goal, please explore. And sometimes, the unavailable can lead to a breakthrough. But if the job is to simply get the work done, it might be worth pretending that the unexplored options don’t even exist.

Most of what we encounter is driven by emotions

Most of what we encounter is driven by emotions, and our emotions are always relative. When we’re shopping for a car or an orange, we’re buying the way it makes us feel, not how it would make someone else feel.

When we give away our day

Sooner or later, they’re all finite. And the way we allocate our time and emotional energy determine what gets done... There’s generally a gulf between what we say we did all day and what we actually did. When we give away our day, we give away our future.

You cannot control most outcomes in life

There are many situations in life you do not control, but you often contribute to them.

I cannot control the rain, but I can control my clothing.

I cannot control your feelings, but I can control my kindness.

I cannot control my opponent, but I can control my response.

You cannot control most outcomes in life, but you can usually influence them. Releasing your attachment to the results does not mean releasing your responsibility for the situation.

Make sure that mountain is worth climbing.

Do not confuse things that are hard with things that are valuable. Many things in life are hard. Just because you are giving a great effort does not mean you are working toward a great result. Make sure that mountain is worth climbing.

Speaking up is a skill like any other

Speaking up is a skill like any other. It can be learned. Yes, some people are born with a stronger affinity for it than you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t improve. With practice, you will surprise yourself with how confident you become.

If you want advantageous divergence

The longer the time frame for results, the less you need intensity and the more you need consistency. Consistency isn't simply willpower, which comes and goes. Consistency is doing it when you don't feel like doing it. If you want advantageous divergence, you have to do the things that matter on your best day and your worst day.

Nothing is unnatural

 From a biological perspective, nothing is unnatural. Whatever is possible is by definition also natural.

There is no person that knows nothing

In life, there isn’t a single person that knows everything and there is no person that knows nothing. It’s not too late to learn because you just need to develop that interest, talk to people, share with them what you have and learn from them. There is no breakthrough in this world if you are isolated, you can only make a breakthrough by talking to people.

I do not like the idea of happiness

I do not like the idea of happiness — it is too momentary. I would say that I was always busy and interested in something — interest has more meaning to me than the idea of happiness.

Eliminate the task

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is eliminate the task.

Downsize. The rooms you don't have, don't need to be cleaned.

Donate. The items you don't own, don't need to be organized.

Delete. The projects you don't take on, don't need to be finished.

Is this a problem that needs to be solved? Or is it a problem that can be eliminated altogether?

You still have to deal with things

Sure, at some level, every experience in life boils down to your interpretation of it. And if you can shift your mindset, then perhaps you can turn a negative experience into a positive one. But life is not a hallucination. You still have to deal with things. A healthy perspective can lessen the burden, but so can taking action. A problem that is solved is one that you don't need to mentally reframe.

Sun Tzu on adapting -

A military force has no constant formation, and water has no constant shape: the ability to gain victory by changing and adapting according to the opponent is called genius.

The key to persuasion is to start from a place of curiosity

Sometimes we push on our beliefs so hard that we forget to try to understand where the other person is coming from. We make assumptions about them without knowing their baseline, which takes away our chance to find a middle ground. The key to persuasion is to start from a place of curiosity. Ask questions. Be inquisitive, not judgmental. You may find that you're not as far apart as you think.

Money buys happiness in the same way drugs bring pleasure

Money buys happiness in the same way drugs bring pleasure: Incredible if done right, dangerous if used to mask weakness, and disastrous when no amount is ever enough.

The key is to find the balance

Every good and admirable trait can be taken too far. The key is to find the balance. Optimism without complacency. Confidence without arrogance. Ambition without greed.

If we do act, in however small a way

If we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something

If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

To be hopeful in bad times

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

Raise your ambitions. Lower your expectations

Raise your ambitions. Lower your expectations. The higher your ambitions, the bolder your actions. The lower your expectations, the greater your satisfaction. Achieve more and be happy along the way.

One of the behaviors that humans display a lot of is

One of the behaviors that humans display a lot of is “indirect reciprocity”. Distinguished from “direct reciprocity”, in which I help you and you help me, indirect reciprocity confers no immediate benefit to the one doing the helping. Either I help you, then you help someone else at a later time, or I help you, and then someone else, some time in the future, helps me.

The source of problems is blindspots

The source of problems is blindspots. There is something hidden from us that, if we knew, would change how we thought and acted. One of the best ways to reveal blindspots is simply to lengthen your time horizon. A lot of good advice simply boils down to thinking long-term.

Not judging is another way of letting go of fear

Not judging is another way of letting go of fear and experiencing love. When we learn not to judge others – and totally accept them, and not want to change them – we can simultaneously learn to accept ourselves.

You have to learn to quit

You have to learn to quit being right all the time, quit being smart all the time, and quit thinking this is a contest about how smart you are and how right you are and realize that you are here to make a positive difference in the world. And being smart and being right is probably no longer the way to do that.

What you say and what people hear are two entirely different things

When we speak, we are focused on our end of the conversation: the words we're saying. We see a situation like a scene unfolding in our own minds, and that means that when we speak, we’re using our perspective as our frame of reference. But when others listen to what we’re saying, they may be hearing something completely different.

You can steer yourself

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

Early luck has a massive impact

Where you’re born, the caste society puts you in, whether or not you were appropriately precocious in various early ranking systems–these all get compounded. Compounding early luck is generally fine with people who have early luck. What a surprise. But it’s unfair and it’s also a talent-utilization problem that hurts everyone. When we fail to create the conditions for people to persist with resilience until the luck comes along, we all lose.

With the bigger decisions, don't outsmart your common sense

Nothing just happens—that’s for the movies, not real life. You have to kick down the door and blast through to the other side. I also have a—somewhat contrarian—belief that big decisions are better made fast than slow. Slow typically leads to overthinking and paralysis that keeps people from making the leap. Fast allows you to operate from instinct—to trust your gut.

With the bigger decisions, don't outsmart your common sense.

Do the work

Do the work. That's all the productivity advice you need, and the only useful productivity advice you're ever going to get. You can direct your attention to a million optimizations— email, meetings, notes, calendar, time tracking, goals, todo lists, time estimates, prioritization frameworks, quantified self sensors, analytics, apps, documents, journaling. But don't. Ignore all this, and do the work. When you do the work, everything else optimizes itself.

One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words

One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.

Commitment makes good things better and bad things worse

The more "all-in" you are on a good relationship, the better it becomes. The more you commit to a toxic relationship, the deeper you get trapped. The more you invest yourself in fulfilling work, the more your effort fuels you. The harder you work on a bad project or in an unsatisfying role, the more of a grind it becomes.

Money is the only type of wealth? Lie

In reality, there are 5 types of wealth:

Financial (money)

Social (relationships)

Physical (health)

Mental (health, knowledge, faith)

Time (freedom)

The blind pursuit of financial wealth can rob you of the others. Never let that happen.

Complaining is an international pastime

Too often today, we find people who have a problem for every solution. Complaining is an international pastime.  People scream on social media and gnash their teeth and they blame the media and rich people and the haves and the have-nots and corporations and politicians.  But they don't offer solutions.  They want to smash capitalism or kill all the lefties or crush all the conservatives but they don't have a better answer, just rage and deranged conspiracies.  To tackle the challenges of tomorrow, we need more thinkers and doers and inventors and less angry idiots.

Could be better

When we care enough to say, “could be better,” we’re putting ourselves on the hook to create. You need to care enough to describe an improvement. Because once you’ve announced how something can be better, you get the chance to show that it can be done.

Each of us experiences a lifelong tug-of-war

Each of us experiences a lifelong tug-of-war between our money interests and the calling of our soul. When we’re in the domain of soul, we act with integrity. We are thoughtful and generous, allowing, courageous, and committed.

Questions are the means by which we explore ourselves

Questions are the means by which we explore ourselves, each other, and the world. We all have it in us to formulate questions that invite honesty, dignity, and revelation. There is something redemptive and life-giving about asking a better question.

If I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned this:

A question is a powerful thing, a mighty use of words. Questions elicit answers in their likeness. Answers mirror the questions they rise, or fall, to meet. So while a simple question can be precisely what’s needed to drive to the heart of the matter, it’s hard to meet a simplistic question with anything but a simplistic answer. It’s hard to transcend a combative question. But it’s hard to resist a generous question.

We’ve all been trained to be advocates for

We’ve all been trained to be advocates for what we care about. This has its place and its value in civil society, but it can get in the way of the axial move of deciding to care about each other.

Life rewards courage

The person who is brave enough to bet on something or someone—as long as they avoid irreversible mistakes like running out of cash or going to jail—is in a position to win.

No act is ever too small

When you create a difference in someone's life, you not only impact their life, you impact everyone influenced by them throughout their entire lifetime.

Once you have learned to ask questions

Once you have learned to ask questions – relevant and appropriate and substantial questions – you have learned how to learn and no one can keep you from learning whatever you want or need to know.

Keep track of what's important

When you keep everything in your head, you’re bound to forget something sooner or later. By documenting what’s most important, you are making sure nothing slips through the cracks.

Where am I going?

There is a difference between speed and velocity. With speed, you move, but with velocity, you move somewhere. You have direction. There is no doubt that you move with considerable speed throughout your day. But it’s useful to sometimes ask, ‘Where am I going?’ Take a moment to make sure it’s not all speed and no direction.

You can't outwork someone who is enjoying themselves

When you find something that intrigues you, and you step out of the way - and you allow yourself to enjoy the process. The enjoyment picks up, expands and lights up the path ahead. You can’t outwork someone who’s tapped into this natural energy at the root. You can’t outwork someone who’s found a way to enjoy it.

Judge less, observe more

Many of us spend our days judging and applying meaning to everything. ‘He’s a fool.’ ‘That coffee is too strong,’ etc. When we judge, we are closing our minds to insight - those ideas that come through when we are willing to simply observe the world around us.

Have more experiences

The best writing reflects a writer’s real-life experiences. There’s only so much we can write about if we haven’t gone out into the world and picked up stories and sensory details. Readers know when your words are rooted to the real. You must live a life outside your writer’s cabin, so you can return with the scars of action, so you can tell fresh, helpful stories through which your reader can live vicariously. Book that trip. Arrange that interview. Go on that urban adventure. Take on that challenge, and report back.

Satisfaction = What you have ÷ What you want

The natural human tendency is to focus on the numerator in this equation—to continuously increase what we have in order to increase satisfaction. The secret is to focus on the denominator instead—to manage and maintain reasonable wants.

Habits = Faith + Family + Friends + Work

The controllable portion of the happiness equation. Faith isn’t necessarily about religion—it refers to a broader ability to think about life beyond yourself. Family and friends refer to deep, meaningful relationships. Work refers to finding productive activities that provide contentment or allow you to experience your life more comprehensively in the other areas.

Humans are animals

Humans are animals. The word “animal” is important because animals are biologically wired to be hierarchical. I believe that we often unconsciously rearrange the world into arbitrary hierarchies to make sense of the world, maintain our beliefs, and feel better.

When life gets scary and difficult

When life gets scary and difficult, we tend to look for solutions in places where it is easy or at least familiar to do so, and not in the dark, uncomfortable places where real solutions might lie.

Our mind is a network of complex systems

Our mind is a network of complex systems that have been conditioned over time through positive and negative feedback. That's how systems work, right? If you receive negative feedback, you won't do that again. If you receive positive feedback, you will do that again. If you consistently receive positive feedback for doing one specific thing, it becomes engrained in your psyche. The action, belief, or thought pattern become habitual. They happen on autopilot.

Simple financial advice

When you buy something cheap and bad, the best you’re going to feel about it is when you buy it. When you buy something expensive and good, the worst you’re going to feel about it is when you buy it.

Next play mentality

A surefire way to make a bad situation worse is to continue replaying it in your mind. The damage is done. The only thing that matters now is making the best choice given your current position.

Quick Marketing Tip

Don't give your audience too many options. Most people don't like making choices. The fewer options you offer, the easier to decision. The easier the decision, the more they'll buy. 

This works in other domain of life too.

When you become fed up with your current situation

When you become fed up with your current situation starting over can be the best thing for you. But starting over means letting go of what was, what didn’t work and confronting those fears that don’t deserve to rule your life anymore.

Find a way to enjoy things

Find a way to enjoy things. It's not about thinking positive - it's about acting with less of the burden of negative thoughts that hold us back. We gain an unfair advantage when we become intolerant of doubtful thoughts and instead turn to the present. Those who can find a way to enjoy even the most menial of tasks have the advantage. Confucius encapsulated the idea well:

'Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.'

If you have the final say on whether you'll enjoy something or not, you can't lose.

Don’t play life hard

Don’t play life hard, but smart. Be soft! It’s ok to be in your comfort zone! The fire of passion is fluctuating; don’t give up on your dreams. Life is too short and it matters.

Dear Younger Me

Never allow words hinder you more than it should uplift you. Don't focus more on your errors when you can focus on your strengths. Keep being you.

Fear of the unknown

The unknown is only the unknown because you refuse to discover what can be known. If you never allow yourself to fail you also never allow yourself to succeed. It may be hard at first but get rid of this mindset at all costs.

Often we are ourselves struck at the strange differences

Often we are ourselves struck at the strange differences in our successive views of the same thing. We wonder how we ever could have opined as we did last month about a certain matter. We have outgrown the possibility of that state of mind, we know not how. From one year to another we see things in new lights. What was unreal has grown real, and what was exciting is insipid.

Life is about habits that you pick up

Life is about habits that you pick up, even when you're not looking to. It's the choices you make every day that set the cow paths and cut the grooves in the road of your life. I get asked a lot about how I find the time, but we make time for the things that we care about. Anyone can find 30 minutes somewhere, and it is really about prioritization and focusing on what you want to ingrain in your life.

We know more than we’re able to explain that we know

We know more than we’re able to explain that we know. And I call this inarticulate knowledge — the knowledge that I’m not able to articulate to somebody. And I have inarticulate knowledge about a lot of things, including other people. I could have tacit knowledge of why I trust somebody that I couldn’t explain to you. If you asked me to give you specific things, I wouldn’t be able to point to that, “Oh, there’s that one time when we were hanging out together,” because it’s probably not any one particular thing. It’s probably a series of things, call it a gut feeling. I just have that. And I have the same thing for mistrust. Right? And I think that this kind of tacit knowledge and articulate knowledge is undervalued in our society. It’s undervalued because we always want to be able to explain the science and give the hard reasons for it. But a lot of life doesn’t work like that.

Work is a remedy for worry

You ideally never want to be bored. Transmute boredom into exceptionalism…what better do you have to do? Instead of decaying and doing nothing in the purgatory of boredom invest your time into doing something.

Reality operates on an as-needed basis

Reality operates on an as-needed basis. We are in a cause & effect world. You don’t get surplus oxygen and blood flow until you make the demand for supply. You don’t start the digestive process until there is a demand seen from the supply of food. You don’t unlock your best self until there is a demand for the supply of your best self. It is through doing more we make this demand for more supply.

When you give more

When you give more you’ll get more. You get what you give. When you give a lot you’ll get a lot. When you give the bare minimum you’ll get the bare minimum.

When things go wrong in your life

When things go wrong in your life, nobody cares. All the mental energy that you use to elaborate on your misery would be far better used trying to find the one, seemingly impossible way out of your current mess. It’s best to spend zero time on what you could have done and all of your time on what you might do.

One of the most valuable skills you can adopt

One of the most valuable skills you can adopt in life is doing things when you don’t feel like doing them. The person who carefully designs their daily routine goes further than the person that negotiates with themselves every day.

If you ever find yourself stressed

If you ever find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, sinking into stasis despite wanting to change, or frustrated when you can’t respond to new opportunities, you need more slack in your life. You’re efficient when you do something with minimum waste. And you’re effective when you’re doing the right something.

Reading is like an active form of meditation

Read a story and immerse yourself in your own imagination for a few minutes. Play with your ability to conjure a scene in your mind. Hear the sounds, taste the environment, be there. Reading soothes because you can’t overthink and read at the same time.

Seek out allies

Nobody succeeds alone. Building a circle of people who will be in your corner, even when things are tough, is one of the biggest favors you can do for yourself. Having allies can make all the difference between giving in to self-doubt and climbing to new heights.

Find ways to amplify your superpower

Sometimes you don’t know how much you have to offer until you share your gifts with others. By putting your thoughts out there, you are allowing other people to benefit from your wisdom. Maybe you think you're not qualified to write (I certainly didn’t think I was when I started this blog). Maybe you think you don't have the time, or that your lessons won’t be valued. Odds are, you’re already sharing your superpower with others every day—you just don’t realize it. And trust me when I say that even if your advice only touches one or two people, it's worth sharing.

What are you good at? What brings you joy?

You have something special to offer the world, and if you haven't figured out what it is yet, you're doing yourself a disservice. Maybe you’re a problem-solver, a brainstormer, or an artist. Maybe you’re good at working with people, or maybe you’re able to see things that others don’t.

You have to decide what you want

You have to decide what you want, and you have to find that way of doing it, whether or not the outside circumstances are going to participate in your success. You have to be able to create your own happiness, period. And if you can’t, then you need to find a good shrink who can help you figure out what it’s going to take.

We only worry because...

We only worry because some part of us believes that worry serves a positive purpose. It does not. It makes us feel like crap and decreases our performance. Let go of the idea that worry helps, and you'll experience more peace and effortless wisdom.

When we entertain the idea

When we entertain the idea that we need to 'work' towards getting better, guess what? We inadvertently emphasize the idea that there is something wrong with us. This is the very thing that keeps our attention on the problem and reinforces our suffering.

Most people don't change

Most people don't change. Past actions are most often an accurate predictor of future actions. If they did it before, they can do it again. If they were willing to do it to someone else, they’ll be willing to do it to you.

When you learn that you don’t have to fit into a mold

When you learn that you don’t have to fit into a mold someone else made for you, you can become your authentic self and find those who love you for that.

There are times in life when you have to

There are times in life when you have to stand up and push back. Being true to who you mean more than doing the work and staying quiet. It means finding your voice and standing up for what you believe, even if that makes waves.

Three things you need

Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.

Life is not a straight line for anyone

Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.

What is real is the people who love you

If I could go back in time I would tell myself: the things you fear are not real. What is real is the words on the page. What is real is the people who love you. You don’t trust yourself because you don’t think you’re good enough. But consistency always comes before proficiency. The first step is identifying what you’re willing to do every day for the rest of your life.

Reach out to those who have impacted you

Often the people who make the biggest difference in your life will never know the impact they’ve had on you. Reach out to those who have impacted you, who gave you hope when you were lost or showed you that your dreams were possible. Thank them for the profound effect that they’ve had on you.

Even if you never get a chance to thank someone

Even if you never get a chance to thank someone for helping you, you can still make a difference in someone else’s life. Take a moment to think back on someone whose words, advice, or actions have impacted you. As you reflect on this, ask yourself how you can pay it forward. Make time to give to others what someone else gave to you.

There are times when you cross paths with people who touch your life

There are times when you cross paths with people who touch your life in special ways. They come briefly into your life and then depart again, sometimes after just a few minutes, but their words and actions stick with you. Often, your paths never cross again, but if they do, you can thank them for making a difference at an important point in your life, when you were unsure of yourself or your place in the world.

When things change, we must change

When things change, we must change. We must struggle to our feet again and reset the sail to steer us toward the destination of our own deliberate choosing. The set of the sail—how we think and how we respond—has a far greater capacity to alter our lives than any challenges we face.

The winds of circumstances blow on us

In life, the winds of circumstances blow on us all in an unending flow that touches each of our lives. It’s one thing to create change. It’s another thing—often unavoidable—to have change foisted upon you when you don’t expect it.

If you want to work with the world

If you want to work with the world rather than against it, one of the major leverage points you can put effort into is how to distinguish between the people who’ve done the work and those who haven’t.

You have to listen and chase down arguments

You have to listen and chase down arguments that run counter to your views. You have to think about how you might be fooling yourself. You have to see the issue from multiple perspectives. You have to think. You need to become your most intelligent critic and have the intellectual honesty to kill some of your best-loved ideas.

Transitions are hard

Transitions are hard, but they are also important because they are a part of your legacy. A long and wonderful stint with someone you love could be soured if you don’t leave things in a good place. For this reason, paying attention at the end is just as important as ensuring a good beginning.

Nothing is an important something

The opportunity lost by increasing the amount of blank space is gained back with enhanced attention to what remains. More white space means that less information is presented. In turn, proportionately more attention shall be paid to that which is made less available. When there is less, we appreciate everything much more.

Knowledge makes everything simpler.

The problem with taking time to learn a task is that you often feel you are wasting time, a violation of the third Law. We are well aware of the dive-in-head-first approach-“I don’t need the instructions, let me just do it.” But in fact, this method often takes longer than following the directions in the manual.

Time Savings

When forced to wait, life seems unnecessarily complex. Savings in time feel like simplicity. A shot from the doctor hurts less when it happens quickly, and even less when we know that the shot will save our lives.

The simplest way to achieve simplicity

The simplest way to achieve simplicity is through thoughtful reduction. When in doubt, just remove. But be careful of what you remove. When it is possible to reduce a system’s functionality without significant penalty, true simplification is realized.

Focus on your own race

Focus on your own race. You may not start in the same place as someone else. You may not have the same equipment. You may not have been born with the same amount of stamina. But you have an opportunity to run the best race for yourself. Stop looking left and right to see how fast the others are running, and don’t let other people define what success looks like for you. Instead, focus on the progress you can make, the challenges you can overcome, and the goals you can set for yourself. You may be faster or slower than others, but the most important thing is finishing the marathon on your own terms. 

We all have anchor points

We all have anchor points: moments that we constantly revisit, whether mistakes we’ve made, opportunities we've missed, or decisions we wish we could undo. Remember, you are more than the worst things that have ever happened to you.

If something isn’t working...

If something isn’t working, despite your best efforts, sometimes the best thing to do is bite the bullet and walk away. Rather than doubling down, think back to when you started down your current path. Ask yourself if you would have still done it, knowing what you know now. If the answer is no, then why do you keep saying yes?

Let go of perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a strong motivator, but it has rapidly diminishing returns. It quickly robs you of time, energy, and attention that you could be putting toward what’s really important in your life and your job. Sometimes just aiming for good enough is the best thing for yourself and your sanity.

Don’t focus on doing all of these things at once

By making small adjustments to your actions, reactions, and ways of thinking, you can get around the roadblocks that are standing in your way. Don’t focus on doing all of these things at once, or the task will feel insurmountable. Instead, consider whether you can make small, consistent changes to your behavior, day by day, week by week. In doing so, you will reduce friction, improve your relationships, and break down the barriers that are holding you.

Sooner or later, you realize everything comes down to mindset

When you focus on what you can control, there is always an action you can take to put yourself in a better position. When you focus on things you can't control you tend to freeze, unsure of what to do, and you wait.

At our core we are animals

At our core we are animals. When things are abundant, it's easy to get along. When times become lean, however, our biological tendency towards self-preservation takes over. Scarcity — real or imagined — triggers our unconscious mind to take over and react without reasoning. And when we react without reasoning we are no better than other animals. In fact, in these moments, we're told we are "behaving like an animal.

Books are one of the best investments you can make

Whether you’re reading about a boy who lives under the stairs or the life wisdom of an expert in a field, you will never regret buying a good book or a bad book.

If you do your work in a vacuum...

If you do your work in a vacuum, and no one knows about it, did it actually happen? There’s a tendency to think that if you work hard, your results will speak for themselves, but that’s not always true. If nobody is aware of your impact, those results will go overlooked.

Our culture has become soft

Our culture has become soft. Out of a fear of offending others, people are scared to direct others even when the situation calls for it. No matter how styrofoam our culture has become, human nature doesn’t change. People need leaders. Good leaders take charge when the people around them need them to. Otherwise, groups descend into inaction.

Time is growing short

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think.

When you enter a negotiation...

When you enter a negotiation, you have to remember that this relationship is one that will likely be ongoing for many years. As easy as it is to get caught up in making demands and changing your mind, you also have to be aware of the impression you're making and the expectations you're setting. Being careful not to burn any bridges by negotiating in a confusing or unfair way is important to all parties.

Understand the pressures and perceptions

Requests and compromises don't exist in a vacuum. Behind the scenes of any negotiation are countless relationships, expectations, and emotions. There are multiple stakeholders in a negotiation, beyond just the person on the other side of the table. It's worth your time to understand the pressures they are under, as well as the pressures they will face if they compromise with you.

Pick your battles and prioritize your requests

Pick your battles and prioritize your requests. Your priorities aren't always the same as someone else's, so finding a zone of possible agreement means pushing for what you really want and letting go of the things you can live without. This makes it much easier to align and find common ground.

It can be easy to get caught up

It can be easy to get caught up in trying to do everything perfectly, but the quest for perfection often has diminishing returns. By stepping away from "perfect" and thinking in terms of "good enough", you can lower your stress and focus your energy on what's most important.

Follow the rules

Take any game in the world. What makes those games truly enjoyable are the constraints we set. If you don't follow the rules, the game would lose its charm. The same is with life. But at the same time don't let the rules stop you from living your life.

Today, not tomorrow

What you avoid today is harder to do tomorrow. Today’s choices become tomorrow’s position. If you put off things today, they don’t magically disappear tomorrow. They just get added to the list of things you want to do. Don’t wait till tomorrow. Tomorrow is where dreams go to die.

Our brain hides things from us

The human brain has evolved to hide from us those things we are not paying attention to. In other words, we often have a cognitive blind spot: We don’t know what we’re missing because our brain can completely ignore things that are not its priority at the moment— even if they are right in front of our eyes.

Our world has exploded

Our world has exploded. Information is abundant. I didn’t think we could process it all but Levitin argues that we can, at a cost. We have a limited number of decisions. After all, there are only so many we can make in a day without compromising quality. Once we’ve hit that limit it doesn’t matter how important they are.

Learning how to think really means...

Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master. This, like many clichés, so lame and unexciting on the surface, actually expresses a great and terrible truth.

Take calculated risks

To effect change, you must take calculated, thoughtful, and well-planned risks. This requires you to overcome your fears and have faith in your abilities. Know your limitations, but believe in yourself enough to try.

One of the dangers of being on a team is...

One of the dangers of being on a team is falling into a role that is ill-fitting or uncomfortable. When you’re new to a group, think hard about what you're good at and what you love, versus what you hate doing. Consider what brings you joy and ignites your passion, and ask yourself how that contrasts with the people around you. Make a conscious decision about how you want to fit into that dynamic.

Where you are now is due to...

Where you are now is due to all the decisions you’ve made up until here. Nobody else can make decisions for you. Just you. Nobody else is to blame. Just you. Taking accountability is the first step to fixing it.

In today's society, a degree alone is meaningless

In today's society, a degree alone is meaningless in most industries. You need to have real-life skills to back it up. How are you setting yourself apart? Your value doesn’t come from how hard you work, but from how irreplaceable you are.

When you begin a new role...

When you begin a new role, you're full of optimism. You're starting something brand new, with a fresh set of eyes, and you're eager to learn. You see possibilities ahead. You’re a blank slate. And those are all wonderful things. However, starting a new role can also be littered with stumbling blocks, and if you’re not careful, you may get tripped up.

Short-term actions eventually become long-term weights

What seems like the fast way at the moment is the long way in the end. In an effort to go faster and outsmart the process we turn to shortcuts, cut corners, and engage in short-term behavior. While it might seem like we're going faster, these tiny debts accumulate into an anchor. Short-term actions eventually become long-term weights.

There are many realms of our lives and work

There are many realms of our lives and work where we can learn to be sharper in the questions that we ask. When I say “sharp,” I'm not talking about being rude or dismissive; I'm talking about being precise and targeted with your questions so that the answers you receive give you the information you're actually seeking.

Why do so many people give it up?

Everyone writes in a way; that is, each person has a "story," a personal narrative that is constantly being replayed, revised, taken apart, and put together again. The significant points in this narrative change as a person ages, what may have been a tragedy at twenty is seen as comedy or nostalgia at forty. All children write. (And paint, and sing.) I suppose the real question is why do so many people give it up?

You have a vital role to play

You have a vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world. You should take care of, help, and be good to yourself the same way you take care of, help, and be good to someone you love. Treat yourself as if you were someone that you are responsible for helping.

If old memories still make you cry

If old memories still make you cry, write them down carefully and completely. If you're obsessed with memories of the past (most of them negative), there are a lot of you stuck in the past. Many people have parts of them that are stuck in some traumatic experience. The world presents itself as a series of puzzles. Some of which you’re capable of solving and some of which you’re not. If you want to change the world, you start with yourself and work outward.

Listen to them hard enough so that...

Listen to them hard enough so that they will share it with you. The sympathetic responses during a genuine conversation indicate that the teller is valued and that the story being told is important, serious, deserving of consideration, and understandable.

Do not do things that you hate

Watch yourself. If you see that you’re doing things that make you hate yourself, consider the cost of continuing.

When someone is giving you feedback...

When someone is giving you feedback, they’re doing you a favor. Even if you’re upset to hear about your mistakes, and even if you think they are wrong and you shouldn’t change your behavior, they’re giving you the gift of information you didn’t have before.

It’s up to you to save you

Replace your excuses with a consistent work ethic. Remove your fear of failure and trust the process. Replace your scarcity mindset with an abundance mindset.

Reading is the first step

Reading a book ≠ knowing it

Knowing it ≠ implementing it

Doing > Knowing > Reading 

However, Reading is the first step in this process so don’t miss it.

People gravitate toward those...

If you exude negative energy toward those around you, others will turn away. People gravitate toward those who are positive and move away from those who are negative, even if they don’t consciously realize it. You repel opportunities with negativity. Likewise, you can attract them with positivity.

You have ultimate agency over your life

Societal and cultural trends can limit your options. They can make life more difficult. At times it can feel like there are no good options out there. But ultimately, where there’s a will there’ll be a way.

You need to make them think it is THEIR idea

Being a great leader means being collaborative. When people feel engaged, and feel that what they’re doing matters, the quality of their work will show. Be inclusive. Don’t just take credit for your entire team’s work. Turn “me” into “we.”

Showing your vulnerability can be a superpower

We are all vulnerable. Embrace it. Don’t hide from it; instead, turn it into something you can use. Vulnerability does not have to equate to weakness. How can you turn it into something you can use to your advantage?

You don’t need to start at the bottom

You don’t need to start at the bottom of the mountain to get to the top. You can learn from the people that came before you. You control your starting position more than you think. For specific advice, find someone a step or two ahead of you. For general advice, find someone older who can put things in perspective.

No one can help you self-actualize except you

For most of us, the story of independence is the story of giving up codependence. In order to change, I had to accept that other people aren’t fundamentally responsible for my emotional state. I’m responsible for my emotional state. I think I’ve realized this most acutely through writing, which is so individual and painful—no one can really help me with it. It has to be self-generated. Other people can help you edit, give you feedback, and read over your drafts, but it has to come from you. That’s how everything works, right? No one can help you self-actualize except you.

We are all interdependent and deeply connected

When we recognize how important it is to love others, we recognize that we can love people better if we know who we are. At the end of the day, we can’t live without other people. But we absolutely can’t live without ourselves.

Criticizing is easy and fast

Criticizing is easy and fast. Creating is difficult and slow. The two hours you spent on a book or movie usually took two years to produce. Anyone can tear down someone else’s work. The true test of insight is whether you can help them improve it or build something of your own.

Wants are confusing

It is impossible to know what to want when there’s an endless, ever-changing list to pick from, with no reference point provided by evolution. So we look for social proof. If someone we admire wants something, we assume it must be good enough for us to want it too.

If someone brags about

If someone brags about their success or happiness, assume it’s half what they claim. If someone downplays their success or happiness, assume it’s double what they claim. Winners don't feel the need to tell you they're winning, it's dead obvious.

Trust is built on relationships

Trust is built on relationships, relationships are built on trust. If you don't trust me, we don't really have a relationship. The more deeply you trust me, the better relationship we have.

Don't accept your body as it is

If you're fat, lose some weight. If you're too skinny, gain weight. There is no shame in denying the current life to get the best self. If you're ready to change your life, life will be much better.

Almost all opportunities come with time limits.

What we too often fail to understand is that almost all opportunities come with time limits. As we wait for that moment of absolute certainty, we also see the window of opportunity become smaller, until the opportunity is lost.

Be picky about who your friends are

Be picky about who your friends are. Your circle of friends should match your priorities. If they are not adding value to you, cut ties. If they don't want to become better with you, become better without them.

There are very few people in your circle...

There are very few people in your circle who would lose sleep over your problems. Create bonds with people you are willing to sacrifice for. Know who those people are. Protect those relationships.

What is your desired dose?

Nearly everything in life has a useful zone, the desired dose. Ten minutes in the sun can energize you. Ten hours in the sun can burn you. This concept applies to many things: work, relationships, hobbies, exercise, food.

What is your desired dose?
What do you need right now?
A little bit more or a little bit less?

The key to getting what you want out of life is...

The key to getting what you want out of life is to identify how the world works and align yourself accordingly. The problem is we often think the world should work differently than it does. The word “should” is important. Because we think the world should work in a way that it doesn’t, our approach is suboptimal.

Keep it simple

Your environment controls how you think. If it's clean, simple, and sorted, so will your thinking. Cut out needless things from every part of your life. Apps, contacts, desk objects, notebooks, furniture, clothes, even people. Fewer things to deal with, better thinking.