It is very difficult to dislike someone who likes you

Most people insult others behind their backs. Do the opposite. Compliment them behind their backs. This is the easiest way to be well-liked and earn people’s goodwill which takes zero effort or money on your part.

You never know just by looking

Some people are motivated by the desire to thrive and others just want to not die. Others strive to be deliriously happy and even more would be thrilled to be anything other than depressed. All of us feel all kinds of reasons for all kinds of actions.

Learn to be bored

Learn to be bored until your own thoughts are not a problem anymore. As you come to terms with not requiring constant entertainment, you'll find pleasure in even the simplest activities, enhancing your focus and making it easier to immerse yourself in a state of flow.

Each second is an opportunity

When you are doing something hard in life, you are making a second-by-second decision to keep going. If you lose one of those seconds, you've lost. Each second is an opportunity to keep going or to quit.

The best new ideas always have unanticipated benefits

The best new ideas always have unanticipated benefits. So it's stupid to require people who want to do new things to enumerate the benefits beforehand. The best you can do is choose smart people and then trust their intuition about what's worth exploring.

See and feel and hear as much as possible

Spend some time in the environments where most of your day passes, and try this — close your eyes, wherever you are, and just remain absolutely still for a couple of minutes. Don’t try to meditate. Just become aware of what you’re hearing.

We’re all facing our own unique obstacles

It’s easy to fall into comparing yourself to others and to feel low as a result. But we’re all on our own path. What they are doing has nothing to do with you. We’re all facing our own unique obstacles. Have others be a source of inspiration, but if you feel worse through comparison, you must put blinders on and get back to doing it your way.

Big Goals create a perfect storm for unhappiness

Big Goals create a perfect storm for unhappiness. If we miss them, we feel like a failure. If we hit them, we feel a temporary satisfaction, followed by an odd darkness brought about by the Arrival Fallacy, purpose dissipation, and their extrinsic focus.

Getting to NO requires caring enough to make a difference

When we offer a generous “no” to someone we care about, we honor our work and their role in it. We care enough to offer them insight into the change we seek to make–and to tell them the truth about what we can’t do at the same time that we’re celebrating what we can do. Getting to NO requires caring enough to make a difference and being brave enough to tell the truth.

The way you depict your own life is important

The way you depict your own life is important. For some people, it's either revenge—they're always looking for someone else to blame and to get back at—or it's tragedy because the whole thing is such a bloody mess and they'll never get out of it. But the moment that you can forgive, you take back the power, and the healing waters flow.

They don't understand the information behind your decisions

People will think you are stupid for making "stupid" decisions. People will talk about you when you are making big changes. Most of the time, they just want to entertain themselves. They don't understand the information behind your decisions. You will learn to ignore them with time.

Regret is a necessary part of life

Regret is a necessary part of life. You can't avoid it. Most people dwell on their regrets as if they can change them. You have two options: view them as ugly stains that make life worse, or view them as cracks that can be sealed with better future decisions.

You go to bed thinking about it

When your mind is narrowed on your goal, distractions can't penetrate your frame. It's all you can focus on. You go to bed thinking about it. Your mind won't stop strategizing a plan to get you out of this situation. And once you gain clarity on what you must do, through study and action, you use that laser focus to build whatever is necessary to actualize the goal.

Nothing is always black or white

Everything exists on a spectrum. Everything is relative. Everything is a state of mind or consciousness. There are degrees of energy, productivity, creativity, intelligence, anger, sadness, happiness, calmness, stress, saltiness, sweetness, roughness, softness, brightness, and darkness. All of these blend together to create your human experience.

Death is right before your eyes

To learn to be always in a state of meditation means never to let your vital energy wane. You would never allow it to do so if it were certain that you were to die tomorrow. It wanes because you forget about death. Grit your teeth, fix your gaze, and observe death at this moment. You have to feel it so strongly that it seems as if it’s attacking you. Fearless energy comes from this. At this moment, death is right before your eyes. It’s not something you can afford to neglect.

You don't build an empire in a day

There is always something you can do today to get a little better, to move a little closer, to put yourself in a better position. It's not pretty. It's not sexy. It's not fast. It doesn't even make for a good story. But it works. You don't build an empire in a day. You build it brick by brick. Day by day. Consistent daily progress for a long period of time.

Consistently inched forward

When you focus on the outcome, the gap between where you are and where you want to go seems large. To cover ground quickly, the tendency is to look for a hack or shortcut. The problem is that no one who got the outcomes you wanted used a hack or shortcut to get them. Instead, they consistently inched forward.

It’s hard to believe in things we don’t see

It’s hard to believe in things we don’t see. But if we don’t live with the understanding that there are many inarticulable forms of knowledge, we miss out on hidden magic. We reject complexity. And the way we live becomes less beautiful and less nuanced as a result. Sometimes everything that’s valuable is contained in the part of the experience we can’t describe.

Document the important parts of your life

When you read a good book and stumble across a lesson that sparks excitement, write it down. When you feel fulfilled in the present because of the progress you are making, write it down. When you feel grateful that your past has led you to this moment, despite your mistakes, write it down. As your notes of signal grow, you have data from which you can replicate those experiences.

Have deeper conversations with those close to you

Short-form content is the current language of the internet. The average individual has trained their mind to think small, remain narrow, and have difficulty seeing into a positive future. To expand who we are to the point of vast knowledge, experience, and expertise we must expand our minds beyond superficial pleasures and problems. Read longer books. Listen to longer podcasts. Have deeper conversations with those close to you.

Life is experience and experience is information

When you are overwhelmed with information, you feel anxious. When you are underwhelmed with information, you feel bored. To maximize the flow of information, think of your mind as the digestive system of reality. If you eat too much or don't move enough, you won't metabolize that experience. If you eat too little or move too much, you get hungry and agitated. When you eat just enough, you create an environment that is conducive to mental muscle growth. You trek through reality toward your goals. You enter a season of pure progress, and the feeling is incredible.

We don't want to be at war with life

When you feel tension, stress, or negative emotions arise you must train yourself to pause. When you pause, identify both the expectation in your mind and the reality of the situation. We don't want to be at war with life, we want to be at one with it. We don't want to fight with it but flow with it. Let go of the irrational beliefs that hold you back and act regardless of how you feel, because you can.

We all have plenty to improve

People spend a lot of time talking about other people's bodies, gossiping about other people's relationships, critiquing other people's business, etc. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Work on your body. Nurture your relationships. Improve your business.

Give to Get

Want people to help you unlock your biggest problem?

→ Help them first.

Want people to share their biggest fears or mistakes?

→ Share yours first.

Want access to a game-changing connection?

→ Offer an intro first.

See the pattern? Throw the value boomerang. It will return to you many times over.

Give yourself a lot of shots to get lucky

Give yourself a lot of shots to get lucky' is even better advice than it appears on the surface. Luck isn’t an independent variable but increases super-linearly with more surface area—you meet more people, make more connections between new ideas, learn patterns, etc.

Focus requires you to stop focusing

Many spend their lives trying to be more focused. But this just makes you more stressed, and you inevitably lose focus. You must learn to embrace chaos and discomfort. The most focused people don't focus. They let go.

Explore life from a position of power

When you believe, "Even if I stay single, I'll still have a great life" ... then you are in a much better position to enter a relationship. When you believe, "Even if I don't succeed with this business, I'll still have a great life" ... then you are in a much better position to give it a try.

Sure, you may want the relationship to work or the business to be a success—and you should give it your best effort—but also realize that if it doesn't work out, you'll be fine. There are many ways to live a great life.

Being able to see another person's perspective

One of the most valuable skills in life is being able to see another person's perspective. One version of confidence is: I've got this figured out. Another version is: I can figure this out. The first is arrogant and close-minded. The second is humble and open-minded. Be humble about what you know, but confident about what you can learn.

When someone trusts you to share their work

When a friend shows you work in progress, your best contribution is to imagine the point of view and preferences of the person it is being created for.  When a friend shows you something that’s finished, the most important thing you can do is find two or three truthful and positive things to say. When someone trusts you to share their work and cares enough about the world to bring the work forward, that’s already two things worth applauding.

Hurry has a limit

We can do our work as fast as makes sense, but not faster. Regardless of external pressure. Sometimes, we establish false limits so we can leave room for when we need to hurry up. But hurry has a limit, and lowering our standards doesn’t stand the test of time. They are standards for a reason.