Curiosity and Drive

People can help you in many ways throughout life. But there are two things nobody can give you: curiosity & drive. Your inner fire, no one can fan it for you.

How to connect with others

Connection thrives on a two-way street: sharing with a willing ear and lending an open one.

The most vital thing to know is our capabilities

The shortest path between two points is still a straight line. If we want to draw that line to our ideal destination, we must be honest about where we currently stand. The most vital thing to know is our capabilities. But not a random set of capabilities, the ones necessary to get where you're going.

Charisma is about being interested

The most charismatic people in the world share one common, unexpected trait: They are exceptional listeners. Charisma is about being interested, not interesting. A charismatic person makes you feel like you are the only person in the room. They are present and engaged. They hear you.

Who you choose to spend your time

Who you choose to spend your time with is the most important decision. Choose wisely.

Your life’s destiny

Forget trying to decide what your life’s destiny is. That’s too grand. Instead, figure out what you should do in the next 2 years.

Show interest in others

Insecure people tend to believe the self-imposed lie that they need others’ approval. So they babble on about themselves to claw back some of that perceived lost self-worth. Confident people don’t require any approval from anyone. They are overflowing with worth. So they’re far more curious about others.

What happened vs. what we do about it

It’s possible to have a useful conversation about what to do about something broken or needs improvement. But first, we must acknowledge that it happened. It’s not controversial to understand the facts, the data, and the shifts happening in our world. In fact, the only way to have a useful conversation about what to do about it is to understand and accept the reality of what’s here. Movements that deny reality choose to do this because they don’t have a better plan, and stalling is their best option. Which is no option at all.

Dreams, plans and contradictions

Dreams are fine. And dreams involve contradictions. We want this and that, but both can’t happen. That’s what keeps them from being plans. Plans embrace boundaries and reality, they don’t ignore them. Plans thrive on scarcity and constraints. Plans are open for inspection, and a successful planner looks forward to altering them to make them more likely to become real.

Ability to look at complex situations

Thinking is all about the ability to look at complex situations and strip away things that don't count—the ability to filter out situations and find what's at their core.

Be a little mischievous

While everyone else is on their best behavior, desperately seeking validation and obsessively focused on avoiding offending others, you’re a cheeky little sprite. This requires some finesse, but in a nutshell, it’s ok to occasionally tease, use a sprinkling of light-hearted humor, and demonstrate that you’re enjoying yourself — which you are.

Disappear occasionally

Color will drain from the vision people have of you if you’re always seen. Mystery will fade if you show up in someone’s face every three hours. Strategically disappear occasionally. Make people miss you. Have others wonder about whether they offended you a little. When you return, your presence will be a relief and a pleasant surprise.

Thoughts come and go like tides

Stop taking unhelpful thoughts seriously Thoughts come and go like tides. You can’t escape them but don’t need to jump in because you’ll get pulled out to sea. Learn to let go of those thoughts that make you feel bad. They never help.

You can't cheat time

Practice patience. We live in a quick-fix world. We've become conditioned to getting stuff fast. But all this makes you more agitated because your expectations are through the roof. You can't cheat time. And when you're at ease with what you have, you'll do better, make better decisions, and do it faster anyway.

We’re multifaceted beings

Personality isn’t real. We’re multifaceted beings. We have many personalities if anything. The only reason it might seem like you have one stubborn personality is that you’re trapped by your thoughts. You can be funny. You know this. You can be loud and crazy. You know this. You can be diligent and calm. You’re free.

Consume less

You don't have to eat constantly or follow a strict three-meal-a-day routine. It's a social norm, like many other habits we adopt. Try going nine hours without eating (or indulging in different activities like scrolling through social media) and notice how it affects your energy levels.

Walk, and walk more than seems reasonable

Walk more than 5,000 steps every single day. The benefits are clear. This keeps you energized. It's great for posture and extends your life. Walk, and walk more than seems reasonable within a day.

To be wet is to have lost

If you want to stay dry, every raindrop feels big and gross. Water is your enemy, and you become consumed with avoiding it. To be wet is to have lost. But if you are not trying to stay dry — if you just allow yourself to become drenched — then each raindrop is no longer troublesome. You’re not dodging. You’re not worrying. You’re just in it.

Dealing with Adversity

Avoid those who make life difficult for you, whether official or self-appointed. Endure if you must, but distance yourself when possible. Don't dwell on their injustices; it only gives them power.

Doing ordinary things exceptionally well for a long time

Extraordinary results come from doing ordinary things exceptionally well for a long time. Take writing, for instance. Anyone can sit down and write a few paragraphs. There's nothing extraordinary about putting words on a page. But if you commit to honing your craft, day after day, year after year, you can achieve something remarkable.

If you don't value your time

If you don't value your time, don't expect others to respect it. Consider pointless meetings. The more you attend, the more you get invited to. Great work requires long stretches of uninterrupted focus. That means saying no to low-value things and concentrating on the few that matter.

Surprise and uncertainty

Until just recently, a solar eclipse wasn’t a tourist event. It was the cause of real panic.

Two reasons that are worth considering:

1. It was a surprise. They were not predicted.

2. They were unexplained. No one had any idea what was going on.

Eliminate surprise and explain the circumstances and panic starts to fade.

Action reduces stress.

When you know what needs to be done, inaction increases stress. You feel much less stress when you do the things within your control that move you closer to your objective. Action reduces stress.

If arguments are to be won

I once believed, as most do, that if arguments are to be won, the opponent must be pummeled into submission and silenced. You can imagine how that idea played out at home. If I won an argument under such a definition, I began to lose the relationship.

Responsibility and blame

It’s tempting to hand it to other people. If someone else takes the blame and accepts the responsibility, we get satisfaction and we’re off the hook. It’s far more predictable and reliable to simply take it ourselves. At least that way, we can do something with it. This simple shift gives us power and authority over our narrative. It helps us avoid wasting time on wishes and ever more ornate arguments about our version of things.

We must first accept

Life will never be completely harmonious. When one thing straightens out, another bends and frays. So at least we can all agree that we’ll never reach a place where things are ideal. Accepting this is the first part of the equation. If we want to enjoy our lives, regardless of what it looks like, this is what we’ll have to do. We must first accept.

The fighter is to always be single-minded

The fighter is to always be single-minded with one object in view—to fight, looking neither backward nor sideways. He must get rid of obstructions to his forward movement, emotionally, physically, or intellectually.

You live in one house for the rest of your life

You live in one house for the rest of your life & it's called your body. Maintain it (sleep & movement). Give it renovations (healthy eating & exercise). Treat your body like it's the only one you're ever going to get because it is.

You'll never be as young as you are right now

A good mantra to tell yourself is that you'll never be as young as you are right now. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone do the thing you're meant to do.

Surface friends & funeral friends

In life, you have surface friends & funeral friends. Surface friends are there for a good time & are transactional. Funeral friends are people who would travel anywhere in the world to pay respects at your funeral. They're your real friends. Cherish them.