Capability makes your life simpler

Capability makes your life simpler. Tolerance, skills, knowledge, and health are always with you, wherever you go. They are assets but they take up no space. They are stored in your body. Some lack capability through no fault, but anyone can increase their ability. It’s an investment that pays dividends every day.

Working with problems

Situations have no solution, they’re not problems, they’re simply the way it is. Problems are distinguished by the fact that they have solutions. But that doesn’t mean that the solution is obvious, easy or convenient. If the problem is important enough, we should pick the best available solution, not turn it into a situation.

Situational spending

Money is a story. But money is also an exchangeable commodity, valued by different people in different ways. And time is the wildcard. Situational spending is a trap that seduces us into forgetting that time passes and debt (or assets) remain.

There will never be time

Your time is valuable so it gets put to good use. There will never be time to build something great, because it’s hard to do great work without giving it your undivided attention, and undividing your attention always has a cost. The trick is to become ok with that.

If your body is healthy

If your body is healthy, you can walk long distances, carry heavy things, and recover quickly from life’s little injuries without missing a beat. You don’t need to deal with medication, monitors, or support equipment. You can handle whatever the situation requires.

If you have knowledge

If you have knowledge, you can get around your city without needing a navigation device. You can speak other languages, reducing stress and confusion when you travel. You can move through the world with confidence.

If you can tolerate discomfort

If you can tolerate discomfort, then you can camp much lighter. Camping lighter means you spend less time and energy packing, setting up, tearing down, and unpacking. The same goes for travel. Fewer clothes and shoes mean less luggage to carry, manage, and lose.

Think of relationships like a garden

Think of relationships like a garden: some plants naturally thrive and help everything around them grow, while others struggle despite constant care. Every hour spent on a toxic connection is stolen from relationships with real potential. Stop trying to save what's dying. Find what's thriving and help it flourish.

Let others be wrong

Most people can’t resist correcting others when they hear something wrong. They jump in with “actually…” and kill the conversation dead. Those who command real attention let others be wrong sometimes. They know not every mistake needs fixing.

Say the uncomfortable thing

Look around you. Most people are playing it safe, saying what they should say. It’s becoming seemingly impossible because everyone’s terrified of being canceled. When you dare to say what everyone’s thinking but won’t say, people will swarm to you like gnats to a lantern on a porch.

The stories we tell ourselves

If it happened to us, our memory is a story, our record of it with us at the center. Even if it’s on video, even if other people were there, our narrative, the context, and the play-by-play belong to us. The useful question might be: “Is my story helpful?” And the follow-up could be: “Is there any other version of this story that might be more helpful?”

Drop the act

If you don’t know, be willing to say you don’t. People are far more likely to listen to a human than an ‘expert.’ You don’t lose if you admit your gaps. You attract twice as much.

Your first move doesn't need to be perfect

Start small and learn fast. Your first move doesn't need to be perfect; it just needs to teach you something. Focus more on the next small step that moves you closer to the goal. Motion creates momentum, and momentum reveals opportunities that standing still never could.

What do we do with our chance?

Everyone needs more chances, more benefit of the doubt, and more opportunity. But what turns a chance into a big break is what we do with it once the chance arrives.

Key to effective negotiation

One key to effective negotiation is having multiple options and being OK with them not working out. Even if you really need the thing, it’s never your only choice: reframe and create alternative options until you have multiple outcomes you’re okay with.

They’re rare but they exist

There are some people who, after you talk to them, you feel more energized and you want to conquer the world or climb a mountain or something. They’re rare but they exist. Go find them and make friends with them.

Write out a review of your year

Write out a review of your year every year, figuring out what was good and what was bad. Use this information to set goals for the next year.

Doing as much as you can

Always be high integrity, even when it costs you. The shortcuts aren’t worth it. Doing as much as you can daily is a life extension.

Wealth can be created

Wealth can be created, there is not a fixed amount of it in the world. Somebody doing well doesn’t always come at someone else’s expense.

The ultimate touchstone of friendship

No matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.

Find the strongest critique

The most valuable feedback usually hurts a lot. Form opinions on things and then find the strongest critique of those opinions. Repeat.

Lean into changes

Don’t “slow down” as you get older, speed up. Lean into changes, and be curious about new things. Most people seem to go the other way.

Do things fast

Do things fast. Things don’t actually take much time (as measured by a stopwatch); resistance/procrastination does. “Slow is fake”. If no urgency exists, impose some.

Prepare for a NO

Once you are ok with people telling you ‘no’, you can ask for whatever you want. (Make reality say no to you instead of assuming.)

Use your phone as a tool, not a companion

Use your phone as a tool, not a companion. Keep it stationary at home and remove apps designed to exploit your attention for profit. Limit or eliminate social media. If you need it for work, access it only via a browser on your laptop/computer, and restrict usage to an hour a week. Seek better alternatives for news, entertainment, and connection.

What might you be undervaluing right now?

We undervalue health if we have not recently experienced illness. We undervalue wealth if we have not recently experienced poverty. We undervalue kindness if we have not recently experienced cruelty. What might you be undervaluing right now?

The problem with getting what you want

The problem with getting what you want is that now you have a hole, because you don’t want that thing anymore, you have it. We then are on a cycle, eager to find a new thing to want. Which means that the thing you used to want but now have fades in comparison. There’s a more resilient path: To commit to wanting what you have.

Decide to become an expert in a topic

Decide to become an expert in a topic. Absorb as much information on the topic as you can. Keep metabolizing information into leverageable knowledge. Let your knowledge become identity-defining expertise.

Accept that your ignorance is a choice

Accept that your ignorance is a choice, not a fate. It’s called a library. Go inside one. Touch some dead trees. There’s no grand conspiracy to keep your brain smooth that cannot be overcome with Gutenberg’s technology. Don’t brag that you don’t know things. That’s pathetic, and you earn no sympathy for it. There’s nothing noble about a persistent refusal to even attempt to understand the world around you.

Stop playing games you aren’t allowed to win

Stop playing games you aren’t allowed to win. Engage with people who see you as an entire human being to be valued and not a thing to be used. Let yourself be great without the permission of the pathetically insecure and their precarious and unfair positions of authority.

The dose makes the poison

The dose makes the poison and we are all so very bad at math and measurements. People are always gonna be people, no matter the app they’re on.

Multitasking kills memories

Multitasking kills memories. No wonder distractions are soothing during rough times. Get away from what you want to forget. Don’t go back to the places that traumatized you.

Your brain is always building collages

How many of us can recall a specific day of a year-long commute, but can recall a specific road trip? Your brain is always building collages and most of them are only partially truthful.

The term “influencer” can inspire a few eye rolls

The term “influencer” can inspire a few eye-rolls. I picture someone posting reels on Instagram telling everyone to buy a daily soap, or whatever the hot product of the moment happens to be. But fundamentally, influence means having the ability to shape someone else’s behavior. That is a rather powerful thing to be able to do! Influential people can convince others to work with them. They can convince organizations to make needed changes. They can convince people they’ve never even met personally to do good things in the world. 

You don’t know what you don’t know

You don’t know what you don’t know. The beauty of learning new things is seeing where it leads, and all the doors that are still waiting to be opened. What a gift to keep seeing how much more there is to know! That’s what keeps life from getting boring.

Becoming an empathic listener

Becoming an empathic listener indeed takes time, but it doesn’t take anywhere near as much time as it takes to back up and correct misunderstandings when you’re already miles down the road, to redo, and to live with unexpressed and unsolved problems.

It often looks like you're working slower

The most practical skill you can learn is working smarter. But here's what people need to tell you about working smarter: it often looks like you're working slower. Your first thought is what everyone else thinks. Your best thought comes after you've thought long enough to forget what everyone thinks. The difference between good and exceptional isn't hours worked – it's the depth of thought applied to the right problems.

The hard part isn't knowing what to do

The challenge isn't knowing you should work out; it's putting on your shoes and running in the cold when you'd rather sit at home under a warm blanket. The challenge isn't determining the most important project; it's sitting down and doing it when you'd rather browse social media. If you're waiting for inspiration, you've already lost.

We each inhabit a particular web of experiences

Two people can look at the same event and come away with vastly different interpretations based on their unique frames of reference. Consider two people standing in the same room: They experience the same absolute temperature differently. One can feel hot while the other feels cold, even though the temperature is the same.

We all have blind spots

We all have blind spots—­ things we cannot see. Understanding that our perceptions are relative allows us to open ourselves to other ways of seeing. If you’re wondering where to get started, try asking others what they see that you can’t. Apply your judgment to their responses and update your beliefs accordingly.

Don't curse the obstacle

Don't curse the obstacle; find a way around it. Elite special forces don't complain about defenses—they adapt their tactics or create new ones. When a primary route is compromised, they don't waste time lamenting. They quickly shift to another approach. Elite athletes don't complain about defenses—they find the gap or create one. Face the obstacle. Find the gap. Or make one.

The most dangerous competitor

Going all in on something for a month gets better results than dabbling in it for a decade. The dabbler spreads their energy over many things. The focused person concentrates their effort on one. The most dangerous competitor is the one with a single goal.

Frustration is bargaining with reality

Frustration is bargaining with reality, hoping it will change. While you're busy fighting what is, you're blind to what could be. All the energy you put into arguing with reality comes at the expense of improving your situation. The mountain doesn't care how much you yell at it, but you'll find a path around it if you stop and look.

Mastery isn't making the simple complex

We attach prestige to what mystifies us. Mastery isn't making the simple complex—it's finding the elegant simplicity that cuts through the complexity.

Determining the actual problem

Determining the actual problem indeed takes time, but it’s far quicker than solving the wrong one and starting over.

The Power of the Perfect Pause

The quietest person at a dinner party often leaves with a reputation for brilliance, while others talk themselves into corners. You see it in boardrooms too - the executive who tilts her head thoughtfully during presentations, somehow radiating wisdom without speaking a word. Even therapists build their practices more on artful silences than clever words. The wisest among us have learned that saying nothing often says everything.

Stop fighting your nature

Your instincts, personality, and preferences aren't flaws - they're features. When something seems to be holding you back that you can't change, the key is to change your environment. What's a headwind in one situation is a tailwind in another.

You are someone’s ancestor

Most immediately, you are the ancestor of the you of tomorrow. That’s why we don’t spend every penny in our bank account, why we put leftovers in the fridge, why we earn a degree–it’s a gift to the you of tomorrow. Each of us have a way of thinking about our ancestorhood. How many people you’re considering in the actions you take today?

When we pick our fuel

When we pick our fuel, we pick our companions for the journey ahead. Choosing to care about what other people care about surrenders your agency. You’ll find that success feels hollow, because it’s their success, not yours. And blaming the false metrics for losing your way is not as useful as simply walking away from them in the first place. We thrive when we find a goal and a metric that’s resilient and easily replenished. It turns out that making a contribution is something we can do, again and again, and it never gets old.

How are we choosing to spend our precious time?

It’s worth checking in with ourselves and the people we care about. What are we signing on to and supporting? How are we choosing to spend our precious time? Is it riskier than we’re comfortable with? And mostly, what sort of new world are we endorsing? It might make sense to choose stability when we can.

The way things are around here

You might not have thought you’d be spending seven hours a day reading the internet, or most of your free time posting and responding, but that’s what the social media companies have pushed us to do. And you might not embrace some of the extreme views that we’re exposed to every single day, but the pressure can feel relentless. It feels like we come out just a bit ahead if we go along with the latest angry meme.

Real life is more muddled and less scripted

Consume enough media and we may come to believe that our life is carefully scripted, and that we’re stars of a movie someone else is directing. This distracts us from the truth that real life is more muddled and less scripted. There is no soundtrack. We’re actually signed up for a journey and a slog. Nothing happens ever after. It’ll change, often in a way we don’t expect.

There’s a lot of pressure to make things dumber

Four year olds easily learn to speak, and many kids in second grade can read. Not because they have a dumb version, but because someone cared enough to make the method simple. There are simple explanations for quantum mechanics and for auto mechanics as well. They simply take a while to understand well enough to teach them to other people. Start with basic principles, go slow and build. No need to dumb it down. Simple it up instead. We have enough dumb. We need more simple.

What should I do now?

The culture of a generation or two ago told you where to study, what to study, how to cut your hair, what to wear, where to work, how to present within your class or identity, what to listen to, what to eat, what to drive, where to live and more. Owning our choices is a privilege that we can learn to dance with.

Take good notes

Facts are important, but facts don’t create learning. Stories do. A story fits into (and changes) our understanding of the world. Good teachers are storytellers, and storytellers are teachers. Notes, then, aren’t recitations of facts. They’re story prompts. A good note reminds you of a story that you already understand.

When we change the comparison

Emotions are often tied to events and events feel absolute. But events are rarely absolute. They’re almost always relative. How does this compare to what I was expecting? How does it compare to what others like me are experiencing? How does it compare to yesterday? When we change the comparison, the event itself is changed as well. It’s often difficult to find the relative, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

If you need perfect visibility

The most useful work we create causes a change to happen. And the more profound the change, the less predictable it is. If you need perfect visibility into the future, you’re limiting the impact and power of your work.

“Thank you” is a complete sentence

It’s a way to offer connection or acknowledgment. It’s a recognition of feedback and the time it took someone to consider us. We can use it after we share something important, or someone shares with us. More than the end of an exchange, it can be the beginning of a relationship. “Thank you” helps someone feel seen and understood. It reminds us that we’re not alone. Most of all, it’s a chance to to be kind.

What if they’re right?

We spend a lot of time in our own heads, certain that our path and our method make sense. We often become more certain in the face of criticism or even suggestions. This confidence is essential, as it allows us to lean into our project. Once in a while, though, it might help to model the alternative. What if they’re right? How would that play out? If they’re right, what could I do with that insight? If it’s helpful, run with it. We can always go back to being right tomorrow.

Doing things is the highest intellectual pursuit

Doing things is the highest intellectual pursuit. True geniuses are not spending as much time as we think thinking. They are in action, trying things, writing things, and designing things. As they are in motion, they receive the best thoughts, without trying, creating the illusion they are doing a lot of thinking.

Developing a skill and learning a craft

A star might simply be someone who persisted long enough to combine skill and luck in a way that others celebrate. Persistence, skill and luck, over time.

The default is distraction

If you do not actively choose a better way, then society, culture, and the general inertia of life will push you into a worse way. The default is distraction, not improvement.

Being proactive, yet positive

There is too much bad news to justify complacency. There is too much good news to justify despair.

You will never be younger

When you think you are too old to do something new remember you will never be younger than you are right now.

The human mind is fabulous at learning

A critical quality to develop in life is the willingness to try. You simply must find enough confidence to give it a go. The human mind is fabulous at learning. You will get better at whatever you practice. But before you can develop the skill to succeed, you must find the courage to attempt.

Choose your battle

If you dig a hole and it's in the wrong place, digging it deeper isn't going to help.

Self-talk strategies

If you need confidence, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. If you need persistence, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a student. If you need patience, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a child.

Choose forgiveness

Anger is like an oven; heat without light. Forgiveness is like the moon; light without heat.

Create a little thing that improves other people’s lives

Many of us fuss and fight, worrying about ourselves and our place in the world. We’re completely oblivious to the fact others exist and need our help. There’s much you can do today - from sharing an encouraging post to taking a small walk with your dear ones - that takes the burning light off you and out towards creating good in the world. Even making the decision to help will shift your aura.

Your real identity is something far more special

Your real identity is something far more special than we can even conceive. It appears when we let go. It appears when we stop thinking about how there’s something wrong with us. It appears when we stop trying so hard. It seems when we’re enjoying ourselves, in the throes of action. To avoid decades more unnecessary self-doubt, you must have this idea in your mind.

New things are always coming up

New things are always coming up. Once you find something you want to do for a long time, you need the courage and discipline to say no to shiny, new opportunities. After years of exploring and experimenting, it can be hard to flip the switch and remain focused.

What’s lasting knowledge?

It’s wisdom that endures: Timeless principles, foundational ideas, and insights that remain relevant for years, not hours. Before diving into the news or scrolling through feeds, ask: “Will this still matter next year?” If not, it’s probably mental junk food. The sugar high will leave you craving even more. Avoid mental junk food. Feed your mind substance. Your future self will thank you.

Confused about good

How often do we assume that popular things are good and that good things become popular? If your work doesn’t catch on, does that mean it wasn’t good? In almost every field, people with insight, taste, and experience admire and emulate good things that aren’t popular and are surprised by popular things that aren’t good.

Moving toward ease

“Ease” isn’t the same as “easy.” In fact, they’re often at odds. Easy work is hardly worth our effort. It can deaden us instead of allowing us to bring our best selves to life. Ease, on the other hand, is the feeling of doing something worthwhile, and doing it.

Decisions don’t seem effortful

The most important work we do is making decisions. Decisions don’t seem effortful (turn left or right, say yes or no), but the apparent risk and emotional labor are real. Hard decisions are hard because of the story we tell ourselves about repercussions and responsibility.

Keep things light

Fascinating people are no strangers to wit and a cheeky bit of humor. Pulling off a joke without making someone want to run out of the room in a rage takes skill. Be funny, but don’t base your personality on it.

The inevitable meeting

When the person you could have been meets the person you are becoming, is it going to be a cause for celebration or heartbreak? This is something we must work on right now, and tomorrow, and every single day until the meeting happens.

The opposite of sensitive is insensitive

The opposite of being sensitive is not brave. It’s not brave to refuse to pay attention, to refuse to notice, to refuse to feel and know and imagine. The opposite of sensitive is insensitive, and that’s no badge of honor.

Get better at what are you doing

All this hand wringing worry and concern over how are people viewing me — someone said something bad about me, and you get so upset about it — is wasted time and energy. Your only focus should be on getting better at what you're doing. Focus on what you are doing. Get better at what are you doing. Everything else is a waste of time.

Your comfort zone is where you start

Your comfort zone is where you start. Your curiosity zone is where you’d go, if only you had the courage or energy. It might be great or terrible, but you’d be satisfied just knowing what happens. Your hard pass zone is what you are genuinely not interested in. These will be different for everyone, and that’s fine!

We can pretend

We can pretend that the world isn’t changing, that nothing is different and angrily push back on any evidence to the contrary. We can see the change as a personal affront and insist that it’s not real or doesn’t matter.

It always finds a way

While some understate their power, others overstate it. We can attempt to institute draconian measures, shortcut existing systems, and demand that things go the way we want them to. You can hold back the ocean for a little while, but it always finds a way. It’s hard to make the tide against the law.

Shift your focus

Sometimes, we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and forget to take care of ourselves. This is your reminder to take a short breather by taking a walk in nature, reading, or anything that refreshes your spirit. Shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. Acknowledge the small things you’re grateful for to boost your positivity.

Define your goal

Define your goal: fitness, saving money, or personal growth. Knowing where you're headed will guide your actions and keep you motivated. Reclaim your time by focusing on what matters. Start small, as even a few minutes saved a day can compound if used effectively.

Fixing little dents is a commitment to quality

Deciding to fix a big dent in a car isn’t perplexing. It’s an easy choice. There’s a huge dent, get it fixed. It’s the little dents that are a dilemma. But not fixing little dents means that pretty soon, we’re driving a car that we’re not happy with. Either that, or we define happiness as, “okay with little dents.” Fixing little dents is a commitment to quality, a constant quest against entropy as we seek to deliver with consistency. And living with dents is a way to focus on what matters, not what can be fixed.

You will soon be dead

I’m no nihilist. I’m not even a cynic. I am actually rather romantic and here’s my idea of romance: you will soon be dead. Life will sometimes seem long and tough and it’s tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad and then you’ll be old and then you’ll be dead. There is only one sensible thing to do with this empty existence: fill it. Not fillet. Fill it.

Be hard on your beliefs

We must think critically and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and hit them with a cricket bat. Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, and your privileges.

Happiness is like an orgasm

Don’t seek happiness. Happiness is like an orgasm. If you think about it too much it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy; you might get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content.

Even if you're not a teacher

Even if you're not a teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas. Don't take for granted your education. Rejoice in what you learn and spray it. People pay to see others believe in themselves.

Quit what no longer serves you

The human body replaces all of its cells every 7-10 years. Every day, your body replaces billions of its own cells—a constant cycle of shedding the old to become the new. It's time for you to do the same: Quit what no longer serves you. To become the new, you have to unbecome the old.

Either holding you back or pushing you forward

A person is either holding you back or pushing you forward. There is no in-between. When we allow negative people to drain our energy, we have less of it to offer the positive people that lift us higher. You need to ask yourself: Who are you saying no to by saying yes to this negative person?

Potential is something with execution

The worst prison in the world is having the talent and intelligence to achieve something great but lacking the courage to go out and do it. When you're young, everyone cares about your potential. You get accustomed to focusing on it, to celebrating it. You gather more and more information to build it, but along the way, lose sight of one important fact: Potential is something with execution.

Internally or externally.

There are two ways to measure how you are doing: internally or externally. Most of our growth comes from internal measurement, while most problems stem from external comparison.

All the best ideas come out of the process

All the best ideas come out of the process and out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great idea, you can sit there long before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction.

The rise or fall happens daily

The rise or fall happens daily, not all at once, and normal interventions rarely make a difference. Instead, it’s the apparently irrational overinvestment in the moment that can change the dynamic going forward.

Unintended consequences are still consequences

Unintended consequences are still consequences. We’re all participants in the systems around us, and complicit in their consequences even if we didn’t intend them. First, we need to see the systems, and then we can work to change them.

The ultimate outcome in any situation

The ultimate outcome in any situation is governed far more by the actions that follow a decision than the decision itself. Stop placing so much emphasis on the decision itself and losing sight of your control over the actions that follow it. Make a decision, then make it right through your actions.

The voice of the emptiness

Anyone whose goal is ‘something higher’ must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.

Putting it on paper

Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you’ll never share it with anyone.

You cannot define a person

You cannot define a person on just one thing. You can’t just forget all these wonderful and good things a person has done because one thing didn’t come off as you thought it should.

Compatibility is a myth

You don't have better relationships when you're more compatible. Thinking you need to be compatible creates tension because your relationship is based on conditions. Welcome difference. Be open to new ideas. Allow others to be a source of growth for you.

Overanalysing your thoughts

Continually reflecting on your thoughts or digging deep into your past can lead to forced mental looping, which will make you feel more anxious. Instead of trying to exert control over your thoughts, practice living a life that prioritizes presence over thought-obsession.

Nice is often forced.

Be kind, but don’t be nice. Nice is often forced. The world and your tribe need you to be authentic and honest. This doesn’t always mean being ‘nice.’

As long as there is love, there will be grief

As long as there is love, there will be grief—the grief of time passing, of life moving on half-finished, of empty spaces that were once bursting with the laughter and energy of people we loved. Grief is love's natural continuation. 

Act like your voice matters

Act like your voice matters, even if you’ve always been told it doesn’t. Do the most good, even if it means being the most irritating.

Scarcity can work to your advantage

Scarcity can work to your advantage. Imagine you’ve got a rare combination of qualities: honest, hardworking, and smart. People like that are scarce, and the world disproportionately rewards them. It’s not just about being good at one thing; it’s about having a mix of traits.

Scarcity shapes our choices and drives our actions

Scarcity shapes our choices and drives our actions. When something is scarce, it suddenly becomes valuable. We want it more because there is less. This principle underlies everything from the price of gold to the thrill of the hunt. Scarcity isn’t just about material things. It applies to time, opportunities, and ideas. We’re drawn to the exclusive, the ­ limited-­edition, the one-of-a-kind.

Do not lose your desire to walk

Above all, do not lose your desire to walk: every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness; I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. Even if one were to walk for one's health and it were constantly one station ahead—I would still say: Walk!

Dreams are fun when they are distant

Dreams are fun when they are distant. The imagination loves to play with possibilities when there is no risk of failure. But when you find yourself on the verge of action, you pause. You can feel the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Thoughts swirl. Maybe this isn't the right time? Failure is possible now.

When you're on the field

When you're on the field, play as if nothing else matters. When you're off the field, remember that the game doesn't matter at all.

Clarity is freedom

Clarity is freedom. Know what is important to you and it will grant you the freedom to ignore everything else.

At critical moments in time

At critical moments in time, you can raise the aspirations of other people significantly, especially when they are relatively young, simply by suggesting they do something better or more ambitious than what they might have in mind. It costs you relatively little to do this, but the benefit to them, and to the broader world, may be enormous. This is, in fact, one of the most valuable things you can do with your time and with your life.

Nobody owes you anything

Entitlement is a disease and the Internet makes it seem ok. It’s not. You’re as good as a cripple wearing a half-ton backpack when you believe you’re entitled to happiness and success. The world doesn’t owe you success, recognition, or basic respect. Earn all of it.

There are two times to admit mistakes

There are two times to admit mistakes: early and late. Early admissions solve problems. Late admissions create them. A person who proactively tells another they made a mistake gains trust and respect for their honesty. In contrast, one who tries to hide errors quickly loses trust. Swift admissions build bridges. Slow ones burn them.

Empathy is complicated

The person right next to you, the one you’re sure you know so well–they are also dealing with a story and a situation that you can only guess at. Empathy is complicated. It’s generally worth it. Because empathy is the key to connection, trust and community.

Perfect is useful

Perfect is useful. It’s an absolute measure, a north star, a chance to improve our work. But it’s also a shortcut to persistent dissatisfaction. Compared to perfect, it is helpful when we’re creating something. But it’s also worth noting that perfect is unattainable.

Let them run their own race

If someone hands you the whole thing on a silver platter, they gift you the result but rob you of the accomplishment. Remember this not only when chasing your dreams, but also when supporting others. Help along the way, but let them run their own race. Your job is to live life with them, not live their life for them.

Keep the goal

Keep the goal. Change your mind about how to reach it. One sign you're getting in your own way, is not changing your tactics when you're not getting the result you want.

Courage is knowing it might hurt,

Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that's why life is hard.

If you play where you have an advantage

The first rule of competition is, that you are more likely to win if you play where you have an advantage. Doing so requires a firm understanding of what you know and what you don’t know. Your circle of competence is your personal sphere of expertise, the area where your knowledge and skills are concentrated. It’s the domain where you have a deep understanding, where your judgments are reliable, and your decisions are sound.

I don’t want a world in which we all agree

I’m very pleased to think that there are people with whom I agree on some issues and not others. I don’t want a world in which we all agree. I want a world in which people feel that they have the standing and confidence to feel that they can disagree. I’m interested in why people think as they do.

The emotions and desires behind the words

If the argument you’re hearing isn’t based on what we know to be true and doesn’t lead to a logical conclusion, it could be because it’s not actually seeking to be a productive discussion. When in doubt, look for the emotions and desires behind the words. People often don’t want their arguments to be heard as much as they’re hoping their emotions will be.

It might feel like wind

It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’re not going to change the direction of the wind. That doesn’t mean you can’t get good at sailing, though. And yes, if we do try, we can change the conditions in our household, community, or workplace. It might feel like wind, but it’s caused by us and can be influenced by us. Not easily, and not right away, but knowing it’s possible is the first step.

When those groups are anonymous

When we come together in groups, it can bring out the best in people. When those groups are anonymous, porous, and transient, though, the opposite can happen. And mobs never helped anyone, ever.

Doing the tasks is more efficient than coordinating the help

If you have a series of tasks, it’s easier to ignore this question and simply get back to work. Doing the tasks is more efficient than coordinating the help. But if your work is a project, a bigger mission that involves making a change happen, it’s much more productive to accept help. When we have a project, part of the work is to enlist others in figuring out how to make the change we seek.

There’s much to be said for showing up

The trail's end is usually difficult, but without the long and winding approach, there isn’t much of a mountain. The greatest hits reel and the stunning photographs leave out most of the hard work. There’s much to be said for showing up, one foot in front of the other. In fact, those are the only people who make it to the steep part in the first place.

We can always take small steps

We can always take small steps towards our fears, with our fears, in the arms of our fears. When we begin to move and look directly and lucidly at the thing we fear. We realise it was our greatest ally.

You're a wild adventure person

The more doors we close, the more restricted we make ourselves - both physically and psychologically. The things we fear are almost always indicators: They show us how to spark aliveness in us. Scared to travel? You must go, even if it starts with a walk to the local river. Age is no reason to close doors.

Doubts will inevitably arise

Doubts will inevitably arise. But we have the power to turn away from those thoughts when they appear. View them as suggestions from your mind. Some thoughts are helpful, and others are not. If it's not, just say 'nope' and engage in something present, purposeful and creative. This is a habit.

Tell people what they need to hear

Being genuine and kind is a far cry from being ‘nice,’ especially when we can all see your manipulations in plain view. Know in your gut why you do what you do and you may find that you’re being nice to gain approval, not because you actually give a shit. Be real. Tell people what they need to hear. This is how to regain the confidence you’ve been looking for all along.

Wake up the world

Develop the fun, darker side of your nature. In an overly timid and extra super nice (dead inside) world, doing so sets you apart, and lights a fire in many of those around you who aspire to be like this deep down. Bring cheerful, light-hearted energy to the bored zombies who need electricity. Wake up the world.

You are not here to argue

What someone says is on them. They have their own subjective opinions. Whether they are ‘right’ or wrong needn’t bother you. You are not here to argue. You are simply witnessing the verbalized thoughts of other humans. Allow those thoughts to affect you, and you are not free.

The world can be a complicated environment

The world can be a complicated environment, and complexity requires increased brain processing. This inevitably uses up significant energy resources. So, when we actively cut the unnecessary, reduce our options, and keep our lives and routines simple, we have less to focus on. We can put more energy toward fewer things, which improves our performance in all areas, and we simply.

Speak slower

There is a place for faster-talking if the person you are with has a higher rate of speaking. Do this to align your tempo and maintain rapport. But usually, speaking fast reflects imbalance. You're rushing your words out of insecurity or an unwillingness to be in the spotlight. Respected speakers take their time.

Conflict of interest

Conflict of interest is real. If there is no conflict, there is no interest.

Everyone is selfish

Everyone is selfish. We do things that increase our chances of survival, help us achieve our goals, and give us a story we can tell ourselves about our role in the community.

None of the above

“None of the above” is often the best option. We’re regularly confronted with multiple-choice questions. The foundation is already established, and the options are already limited, do you want this or that? But the real questions lie in the assumptions that happened before you were even asked.

You don't have to drink the rain

When you drink water from a cup, it becomes part of you. When water falls on you like rain, it evaporates a few minutes later. You'll always feel the rain, but you don't have to drink the rain. You can let the thought pass and in a few moments, the sun will return. You don't have to claim everything you feel.

You pile up enough tomorrows

You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with a lot of empty yesterdays. Stop waiting to live the life you want. Start acting to build it.

The truth shrinks as the crowd grows

The truth shrinks as the crowd grows. In a large meeting at work, people hold back their honest opinions. The resulting conversation offends the fewest people but often differs from the truth. Smaller groups are more likely to find truth than larger ones.

Silence can leave a scar

The truth may sting, but silence can leave a scar. We see the barriers holding back the people we work with, just as they see ours. But telling them is hard. Telling the truth might hurt them, but not telling harms them.

Solitude is a condition of peace

Solitude is a condition of peace that stands in direct opposition to loneliness. Loneliness is like sitting in an empty room and being aware of the space around you. It is a condition of separateness. Solitude is becoming one with the space around you. It is a condition of union.

Keeping buildings from burning down

Running into a burning building is heroic work. Keeping buildings from burning down in the first place is actually just as important. And it scales more reliably.

Action is a choice

There will always be reasons to not do something, and this is particularly true of anything worth doing. We value those moments in which we overcame challenge, not those in which we avoided it. Ultimately, action is a choice. The choice to emphasize the reasons for doing it despite the reasons you have for avoiding it.

Life is not a direct march from A to B

Finding your way in life is like unlocking the combination of a safe. You have to go forward and backward. Life is not a direct march from A to B. The twists and turns are progress, not regression. What feels like a setback in the moment is later revealed to have been part of the path all along. Each move was necessary to get to your end goal.

Communication is about what is received

Communication is about what is received, not what is intended. If there is a gap between what you are saying and what they are hearing, you have to find a new way to say it.

Silence vs noise

When a group comes together, noise is easy. Just a few people have to make a commotion for noise to happen. But silence requires everyone to be in sync.

Change is always risky

When someone worries about a change and identifies a “risky scheme,” red flags start flying. “Risky” means it might not work. Change is always risky, because innovation doesn’t come with a guarantee. An organization or culture that fears the risk may decide to wait a few cycles, to see what happens if they don’t switch. “We can always do it later.”

Like rivers, people change

Like rivers, people change. When the label stops being useful, we should change it. The problem with holding a grudge is that it makes your hands too full to do anything useful.

Comfort with awkwardness

Life is awkward, particularly when interacting with other humans. Humans are clumsy and hilarious in their awkwardness. Wishing for awkward-free situations is like wishing for the moon to fall out of the sky into the sea. Learn to embrace tension, awkwardness, and discomfort, and you will have an advantage that towers over the common man.

It's not enough to simply apply effort

It's not enough to simply apply effort; you must work on the right thing. One hour solving the right problem beats ten hours on the wrong one. Spend time thinking about what to focus on.

A risk with watching your competition

A risk with watching your competition too closely is that you get drawn into playing their game and lose focus on your own.

There is no beginning, middle, and end to your change

There is no beginning, middle, and end to your change. There is no before or after, no v1 or v2, no old or new. Infinite versions of who you are, who you will become, and who you could have been. The roads not taken and the roads traveled. There is no original version. You simply exist. You never become, you are in a constant state of becoming.

Stopping a runaway train

It feels urgent because it is. But by the time the train is running away, it might be too late. The better strategy is to not sign up for trains that are likely to run away. The first principle of risk reduction is to figure out if you can stop it later. If you can’t, don’t start.

Resilience can be found

Resilience can be found by holding onto our certainties just a little less tightly. One way to do that is to remember just how often the old ones fade away.

More preparation, focus, and effort

Focus on activities where you’re in the sweet spot of the curve, where more preparation, focus, and effort lead to huge benefits. This means walking away from competitions against people who are committed to being unreasonable. Embrace the unreasonable and accept that your competitors will as well.

Quitting gives you tomorrow back.

Shrug your shoulders. Care less, phone it in. Giving up is a waste. Quitting, on the other hand, is a fine thing to do. Because quitting gives you tomorrow back. It opens the door for the next contribution you can make. In or out.

It’s better when we’re on the cusp

A philosopher can spend a month, a year or a career thinking about one knotty problem. Making assertions, testing theories, understanding how others are thinking about it as well. But this exercise shouldn’t be reserved for academics. What are you working on? When will you change your mind? What can you learn, what can you challenge?

Those who lack the courage

Direct your energy toward figuring out how to start what you want to do rather than thinking about how to shorten what you don't want to do. Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.

The blame that bullies spread is divisive

The blame that bullies spread is divisive. As a result, the bully separates the community instead of connecting it, using the power of the mob to harm the outliers. And a bullied community often cowers in fear instead of leaning into possibility. Most of all, bullies are weak. They can’t tolerate change and refuse to listen or improve. Resilient, generative and productive approaches to problems are always a better path forward.

Bullies use intimidation and power

Bullies use intimidation and power to force others to act against their best interests. Bullies blame the victim, assuring everyone that they wouldn’t have to use force if people would simply go along with what they want. Effective bullies organize a small mob to enforce their wishes. Living and working with bullies is no fun. And it’s not productive or resilient.

Making a new decision

We’ve managed to lionize, celebrate and elevate the mindset of “CHARGE!” Even when better judgment and experience would indicate that we’re often more likely to succeed with a strategic re-evaluation of the situation. Making a new decision based on new information isn’t weakness.

We need effort to find patterns

Finding a pattern that explains events that seem like chaos is a breakthrough. It offers us understanding and a lever we can use to make an impact. Sometimes, though, the breakthrough lies in understanding that there is no pattern, simply unpredictable noise. We need effort to find patterns. We need humility to accept the chaos.

Worried you are too late?

Worried you are too late? You'll be even later tomorrow. If you are thinking about doing something: just start.

The beauty of enough

Beware of overconcern for money, or position, or glory. Someday you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are. Never let the quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough.

Life rewards action

Stop waiting for the world to recognize your potential; start giving the world something positive. Don't wait for a friend's apology; reach out and reconnect. Instead of waiting for the perfect partner, become that partner. Rather than waiting for motivation to exercise, start small and build momentum. Don't complain about something; change it.

The necessity of being frank and honest

I have spoken of the necessity of being frank and honest with oneself about one's own affairs: many people assume that they can get away from the truth by avoiding thinking about it, but the natural law is inevitable, and the sooner it is recognized, the better.

Who are they?

When you have haters, it’s easy to worry that everyone hates you — and that’s scary! But your haters aren’t big and abstract. They’re actually small and specific. And the closer you look, the smaller they’ll seem.

Avoid falling into crappy coping habits

When you’re overwhelmed, now is the worst time to treat yourself poorly, even if you feel pleasure from the instant gratification of whatever dastardly habit you’ve chosen to reignite. Sure, you can treat yourself with some ice cream and a bubble bath, but your biggest priority now is getting out into nature, avoiding junk, and getting plenty of rest.

Jump before you’re ready

Jump before you’re ready. Caution prevents progress. It's always good to be seen. The more you can expose yourself to different situations the more you can learn about valuable insights as well as yourself. The best way to learn is by putting yourself in the fire, even if you're not ready for the heat.

Embrace their weirdness

Rejecting the full range of your character and personality traits is an effective way to stifle your creativity. When you can’t fully express yourself, standing on the hose while waiting for water is like standing on the hose. We are all connected in our weirdness, but we are all enlivened by embracing what makes us different. Instead of hiding those things you feel are at odds with society's expectations, use them.

Cultivate your Truth Tellers

As you become more successful, most of the people around you will become afraid to tell you the truth. They will pat you on the back and tell you what they think you want to hear. Find the Truth Tellers in your life—the rare few who are willing to give you honest perspectives from a place of love. Create an environment where they know they are safe to do so. If you cultivate your Truth Tellers, you'll always find a way to grow.

Keep dreaming

The important thing isn't to achieve all your dreams, but to keep dreaming. Your desires change as you learn and grow. Old dreams will spawn new dreams. And eventually, one of these newer, more refined visions will find its moment and become reality.

Your Starting Line

Your entire life will change the moment you stop fearing failure as a foe and start embracing failure as a friend. The world isn't run by perfect people who never fail. The world is run by imperfect people who failed over and over again—but who used every failure to set the conditions for their future success. Maybe that failure you just experienced isn't the end after all. Maybe that failure you just experienced is your starting line.

Information is nothing without action

Information is nothing without action. In the wake of a failure, default to action. Remember: Action doesn't have to be perfect to be right.

The space between stimulus and response

Give yourself a fixed amount of time (~24 hours) to feel frustrated or angry about the failure. During this time, you don't need to do anything but sit with the feelings and emotions. Allow yourself the grace of that period, but when the time is up, you move forward to the next step.

Maintaining a healthy level of paranoia

Maintaining a healthy level of paranoia can actually be helpful. It reminds you to remain nimble, agile, and adaptable. It reminds you that success isn't an end state, but something that requires continuous, disciplined effort. The water may look calm, but the crocodiles are always lurking. 

Be Meaningfully Informed

Community requires individuals to have the option of speaking up. If we’re in this together, we ought to be able to chime in. But while every member of the community can speak out, the ones that are heard also have something useful to say. Being informed is a requirement to be heard.

Throws are far more important than catches

Focus on the work at hand. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Establish a spec, and ignore perfection. Devote a significant amount of time to hone your craft. Consistently add incremental challenges. Frantic leads to more frantic. Let it drop and begin again.

In every challenge or even tragedy

In every challenge or even tragedy, there is an opportunity. And if you train yourself to look for the opportunity, you will be able to take control of the situation and even turn it into a positive, or if it can't be turned into something good, at least something good could come out of it.

It's easy to want the public rewards

You have to want the lifestyle, not just the outcomes. Otherwise, it doesn't make any sense being jealous. The results of success are usually public and evident, but the process behind success is often private and hidden from view. It's easy to want the public rewards, but also have to want the hidden costs.

Stop overvaluing your importance

We hurt our feelings by thinking we mean more to people than we really do. Stop overvaluing your importance in other people's lives.  Assume you're just a small chapter in their book, not the entire story.  It's liberating.

To be good at something

It's tough to be good at something you're not interested in. It's nearly impossible to be great at something you're not obsessed with.

Big ideas come from the unconscious

Big ideas come from the unconscious. This is true in art, science, and in advertising. But your unconscious has to be well informed, or your idea will be irrelevant. Stuff your conscious mind with information, then unhook your rational thought process.

Most beliefs are self-validating

Most beliefs are self-validating. Angry people look for problems and find them everywhere, happy people seek out smiles and find them everywhere, pessimists look for trouble and find it everywhere. Brains are good at filtering inputs to focus on what you want to believe.

Choose to be the one

There are two types of people: Those who want to know more and those who want to defend what they already know. Choose to be the one you want to become. 

Many people have a necessary stress level

Many people have a necessary stress level, and when their life is going well they make up imaginary problems to fill the void.

A place people go to perform

Social media makes more sense when you view it as a place people go to perform rather than a place to communicate.

Always default to kindness

The world is going to try to turn you into a cynic. Don't let it. Be kind to every single person you encounter. It's the only real-life hack. Kindness remains severely underrated.

Ambition is nothing without direction

You'll feel trapped and lost if you have ambition but no way to channel it. If you have ambition, focus on finding your direction—take action to explore until you find it. Do that and the rest will take care of itself.

Possessions have no inherent value

We must always remember that possessions have no inherent value. They become what we make them. If they increase our capacity to give, they become something good. If they increase our focus on ourselves and become standards by which we measure others, they become something bad.

Ability is nothing without action

There is no difference between does not and cannot. Ability is nothing without action.

Terrible disease of loneliness

What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.

Play with a more expressive or opinionated you

One of the best habits you can incorporate is to say more and do more that may provoke or rock the boat. Share a heartfelt post that may offend some. Play with a more expressive or opinionated you. You're not stuck with your 'personality.' Do what you've always wanted but felt wrong for doing. You're taking a stand for what you want over what society says you should like. Piece by piece, this will free you from a form of enslavement.

Get your body going

One of life's counterintuitive lessons is that you will often gain energy by spending a little bit of energy. If you want to get your day going, get your body going. It's harder for the mind to be sluggish when the body is moving.

We all want to win

We all want to win. But we can't if we don't know the rules. Don't be the kid who changes the rules when they lose.

Having the ability to shape someone else’s behavior

Fundamentally, influence means having the ability to shape someone else’s behavior. That is a rather powerful thing to be able to do! Influential people can convince others to work with them. They can convince organizations to make needed changes. They can convince people they’ve never even met personally to do good things in the world.

Become a connoisseur of your own mistakes

The chief trick to making good mistakes is not hiding them—especially from yourself. Instead of turning away in denial when you make a mistake, you should become a connoisseur of your own mistakes, turning them over in your mind as if they were works of art, which in a way they are. The fundamental reaction to any mistake should be this: “Well, I won’t do that again!

Boundaries and limits

Boundaries can give us room to innovate and thrive. Budgets, schedules, and specifications all exist to show us where the safe areas are. Sure, go to the edges and challenge the boundaries, that’s why they’re there. But limits aren’t boundaries. Limits are the end, the danger zone, the thing to avoid.

We should resist trading the important work

If we need to wait until after the short-term emergency is settled, it’s unlikely we’re ever going to get to work on the long-term important work. Of course, we want to do “everything we can” when an emergency strikes. But the standard for that has always involved tradeoffs. Perhaps we should resist trading the important work for the urgent distraction of right now.

When stretched in a half dozen directions.

You'll probably surprise yourself with what you can accomplish—if you're focused on one thing. You'll probably frustrate yourself with what you fail to accomplish—if you're doing 5 or 7 or 10 things. Nobody performs well when stretched in a half dozen directions.

Happiness will always be fleeting

You will never find one answer to what makes you happy. There are many answers, and they change based on your current state. Happiness will always be fleeting because your needs change over time. The question is: what do you need right now?

People find meaning in work

People need to relax, but it gets old if all you do is sit on the beach. People find meaning in work, but if all you do is work, it gets exhausting. People benefit from exercise, but if all you do is exercise, it gets unhealthy.

Impact of your weakness

You can ignore your weaknesses, but you can't expect them to not impact you. The weakness of the coach shapes the players. The weakness of the teacher influences the students. The weakness of the parent molds the child.

Reasoning in public forces the discipline of thought

Reasoning in public forces the discipline of thought. It's like doing math on the chalkboard in front of the class. Every step must be clear and correct, or someone will point out the mistake. There's no room for fuzzy thinking or skipped steps. If your reasoning is correct, you have nothing to fear. If it's wrong, you have everything to learn.

Asking for help is a superpower

Asking for help is a superpower anyone can have but only some people use. It is brave to ask for help. Asking for help is the first step toward finding a mentor. Mentors can help us change our lives if we let them.

You’ll need to find a place to noodle

You’ll need to find a place to noodle. A place to take risks and do things that might not work, where the stakes are real but the stakes aren’t so high that you forget why you’re doing this work in the first place.

The challenge of N + 1

“Just a little more,” might be a useful way to self-motivate, until it isn’t. N + 1 pushes us to win every race, every argument, every bank balance competition. Sometimes this is simply a self-challenge, not designed to hurt others, but the problem with never being satisfied is that the loser will also be you. “Enough” is often attainable and always useful.

Are you pitching or are you asking?

There are two easy ways to tell: First if you have a script or a highlighted goal in mind, you’re pitching. You’re simply asking questions to create connection, tension or forward motion. Second, if you’re willing to learn and change your point of view as a result of the conversation, you’re asking. That’s rare. People can tell.

If your aspirations are outgrowing your net worth

If your aspirations are outgrowing your net worth, that’s when people get into trouble. If your net worth grows 10%, but your expectations grow 12%, that’s when you get into trouble.

Our love of stability keeps us where we are

Restlessness is a sign you've overstayed your welcome with where you are and need to leave by moving toward the person you can be. Our love of stability keeps us where we are. The key is to leave just before you’re ready. If you leave too late, you miss the opportunity.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt

There’s often doubt. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt enables us to move forward, which requires us to realize that our doubt might be unfounded. Systems that assume goodwill create possibility, connection, and utility far easier than those without. Being invited to find a place in those systems is worth earning.

The third impossibility

First came passive entertainment: radio and TV filled our days. Then, the internet exploded with real-time interaction, often with strangers. Now arrives AI, promising constant, personalized engagement with software that seems to truly understand us. Our world shrinks to a real-time, digital bubble.

Plan your next 30-day challenge

Many of us — myself included — can get overwhelmed by the sheer range of things on offer. Our overwhelm paralyzes us. This is why it can be powerful to briefly forget your longer-term plans and narrow down your range. What’s one habit you can commit to over the next thirty days?  There’s nothing quite like limiting your scope and gamifying your life like this to turn up the heat.

Stop wishing for specific outcomes

When we rely on something going exactly how we envisioned it, we get needy and depressed if we fall short. Instead, have goals, but be flexible as you progress towards them.

Create things on and off the screen

If we’re depressed, we’re usually in a reactive mode. We see ourselves at the mercy of life, and we feel powerless. This is the exact opposite state of being creative. Find something to create — anything — a poem, an article, a new friendship, a painting. If you lack the knowledge, first learn. Create something fresh, and you’ll start to shift your depressed identity.

Create a better system

Whether we realize it or not, we've all created the perfect system for how things are for us. If you want more friends, what system must you follow to bring more friendships into your life? There is always a system that works. Figure out your objectives, and then design a system that aligns with those objectives.

Reflect on everything you like about yourself

Sound selfish? That’s because we’re all conditioned to think mostly about what we dislike in ourselves. It’s why we’re all so anxious. But how about you give yourself a moment to enact some deep self-compassion and understanding for a change?  Revel in this, and see your day take a new, positive turn.

Be content with doing less

We must actively reduce our choices and make peace with the options we leave behind. This is both a logistical task and a psychological one. Most of all, it comes down to courage. Choose to do less. Be content with doing less. Honor your perspective by doing more with less. Realize you don’t need to do most of the things you think you should do.

You don’t need to be laser-focused

Trying to focus too much limits your focus because you apply self-pressure. Instead, relax and do what makes the most sense to do next. You’re not a dummy. Do what is obvious to you and go with it.

You don’t need to make a ton of money each month

It’s easy to feel down seeing all these 19-year-olds pulling in 50k months. But you don’t need to earn a lot to live a good life. You can structure your life so that your outgoings are minimal and your required income is far lower. What if you earned less, spent less, and had time left over for the stuff you actually wanted to do?

Let go of the obligation for order

Instead of doing the work, we organize files. Instead of action, we sit with a cup of coffee and plan. But neither of these is a proper action that will push the needle. Looking for order is an excuse if you’re ignoring action. When you act, even in the tiniest way, you create logistical and psychological momentum that leads to more action.

The unwarranted smile

When we do something nice for someone, a ‘thank you’ and a smile are nice to receive. And, in many parts of human culture, it’s a bit expected. But when something goes wrong, if we drop a plate or miss a turn or make someone late, it’s particularly delightful and memorable if we are greeted warmly instead of stomped on. The moments when it’s the most difficult to be kind are the moments where it matters the most.

You must learn their logic chain

If you want to understand anyone’s decisions, then you must understand their logic chain. Even if you disagree with it. Even if you think they’re nuts. You must appreciate how they reach their decisions — or at least, try. How? Well, start by guessing. Assume they have good intentions. Now build a logic chain based on what they might see, so that it explains their current actions.

What they see, learn and believe

People combine what they see, what they learn, and what they believe to be true and make the best decisions they can.

Take control of smartphone use

Remove unnecessary apps, Replace app use on your phone with desktops, Rearrange apps that trigger mindless checking away from your home screen, and Reclaim attention by adjusting your settings to only receive truly important notifications.

Being 'indistractable' is the ultimate superpower

By understanding the difference between traction and distraction, and learning to manage both internal and external triggers, we can reclaim control over our attention and lives. Becoming indistractable isn't just about personal productivity; it's about shaping the future and inspiring others to do the same, creating a world where intentionality reigns supreme.

Fairness is a comforting illusion

Society doesn't tally good intentions; it measures tangible contributions. Your crush not reciprocating feelings, a promotion snatched by another, or even a failed exam—it's not the universe conspiring against you but a reminder that the world is complex and doesn’t comply with your ideas of right and wrong. In a world where fairness is a comforting illusion, embracing the gritty reality might just be your ticket to unlocking boundless potential.

Focus is a force multiplier on work

It is much more important to work on the right thing than it is to work many hours. Most people waste most of their time on stuff that doesn’t matter. Once you have figured out what to do, be unstoppable about getting your small handful of priorities accomplished quickly.

Turn URL relationships into IRL relationships

If you have a social media following, share a post mentioning you'll be visiting a city soon, and if anyone is down to hang out there. Worst-case scenario, no one responds. Best-case scenario, you'll make a new friend and they'll give you tips on what to eat and do in that city.

When in nature, be aware of nature

When in nature, be aware of nature. If you're in the desert, watch out for snakes. If you're in the forest, watch out for ticks. If you're in the ocean, watch out for jellyfish. Nature is beautiful, but it's important to respect and be cautious of it.

Traveling is a great way to “stress test”

Traveling is a great way to “stress test” your partner and see what kind of person they are under pressure. Are they able to stay calm and be helpful when there's an issue with the bus/train/flight or hotel? Or do they start complaining and become a ball of negativity? If you’re looking for a life partner you want the first kind of person.

Creativity is about hope and possibility

Organizations are either doing things to us or for us and with us. We can make something. And do it together. Creativity is about hope and possibility. It gives us a chance to make things better.

Success is not an option

Forget the big win, the final 'made its moment.  If that's your definition of success, it clashes with why you created it in the first place.

Discoveries in life aren't solely about finding answers

Discoveries in life aren't solely about finding answers; they're about asking the right questions. By shifting our focus to asking insightful questions, we unlock new perspectives, challenge assumptions, and uncover hidden truths. Posing the right questions has the power to reshape how we navigate work, relationships, and existence. True wisdom lies not in the answers we give, but in the questions we ask.

Being annoyed is a concoction

Hunger and exhaustion are physically based. But being annoyed is a concoction based on expectations and our stories. We can change the story if we try.

We can use irritation as fuel

If a problem vexes us, we can use that irritation as fuel, finding the energy to deal with it. We can turn the moment into curiosity and forward motion. And if it’s a situation? Then being vexed is a choice. If it’s helping you to be irritated, enjoy it. If not, then why bother?

Don't Rush

Don't Rush.... but hurry. The words matter. Rushing has a built-in excuse. Rushing pushes us to skip steps or ship junk. But hurrying acknowledges how precious this moment in time is. It honors our good fortune to be in this place, and able to contribute something generous.

We can act as if

The most resilient approach, of course, is to act as if. What if this is your most important post or your last one? What if the text you’re sending is going to be forwarded to your mom? What if… We can’t know for sure. But we can act as if it’s going to happen.

Smart financial moves

Smart financial moves pave the way for long-term stability. If you borrow money, use it to make more money. Not to buy luxury cars, designer clothes, and expensive vacations.

Inaction leads to boredem

Everyone's terrified of doing the wrong thing, that they never do the right thing.

The leader within you

If they stand behind you, grant them protection. If they stand beside you, grant them respect. If they stand against you, show them no mercy.

Never stop showing up

In whatever you do, never stop showing up. Sometimes, you will feel like you aren't making any progress but that's far from the fact. You are growing, your mind is widening, your habits are forming and small traces of your work can be seen.

Interest sparks interest

Interest sparks interest. Choosing to close yourself off to others - will be painful and unnecessary. Take one simple action. Something that inherently brings you fear, and go do it anyway. Thank yourself after, you earned it.

Curiosity and Drive

People can help you in many ways throughout life. But there are two things nobody can give you: curiosity & drive. Your inner fire, no one can fan it for you.

How to connect with others

Connection thrives on a two-way street: sharing with a willing ear and lending an open one.

The most vital thing to know is our capabilities

The shortest path between two points is still a straight line. If we want to draw that line to our ideal destination, we must be honest about where we currently stand. The most vital thing to know is our capabilities. But not a random set of capabilities, the ones necessary to get where you're going.

Charisma is about being interested

The most charismatic people in the world share one common, unexpected trait: They are exceptional listeners. Charisma is about being interested, not interesting. A charismatic person makes you feel like you are the only person in the room. They are present and engaged. They hear you.

Who you choose to spend your time

Who you choose to spend your time with is the most important decision. Choose wisely.

Your life’s destiny

Forget trying to decide what your life’s destiny is. That’s too grand. Instead, figure out what you should do in the next 2 years.

Show interest in others

Insecure people tend to believe the self-imposed lie that they need others’ approval. So they babble on about themselves to claw back some of that perceived lost self-worth. Confident people don’t require any approval from anyone. They are overflowing with worth. So they’re far more curious about others.

What happened vs. what we do about it

It’s possible to have a useful conversation about what to do about something broken or needs improvement. But first, we must acknowledge that it happened. It’s not controversial to understand the facts, the data, and the shifts happening in our world. In fact, the only way to have a useful conversation about what to do about it is to understand and accept the reality of what’s here. Movements that deny reality choose to do this because they don’t have a better plan, and stalling is their best option. Which is no option at all.

Dreams, plans and contradictions

Dreams are fine. And dreams involve contradictions. We want this and that, but both can’t happen. That’s what keeps them from being plans. Plans embrace boundaries and reality, they don’t ignore them. Plans thrive on scarcity and constraints. Plans are open for inspection, and a successful planner looks forward to altering them to make them more likely to become real.

Ability to look at complex situations

Thinking is all about the ability to look at complex situations and strip away things that don't count—the ability to filter out situations and find what's at their core.

Be a little mischievous

While everyone else is on their best behavior, desperately seeking validation and obsessively focused on avoiding offending others, you’re a cheeky little sprite. This requires some finesse, but in a nutshell, it’s ok to occasionally tease, use a sprinkling of light-hearted humor, and demonstrate that you’re enjoying yourself — which you are.

Disappear occasionally

Color will drain from the vision people have of you if you’re always seen. Mystery will fade if you show up in someone’s face every three hours. Strategically disappear occasionally. Make people miss you. Have others wonder about whether they offended you a little. When you return, your presence will be a relief and a pleasant surprise.

Thoughts come and go like tides

Stop taking unhelpful thoughts seriously Thoughts come and go like tides. You can’t escape them but don’t need to jump in because you’ll get pulled out to sea. Learn to let go of those thoughts that make you feel bad. They never help.

You can't cheat time

Practice patience. We live in a quick-fix world. We've become conditioned to getting stuff fast. But all this makes you more agitated because your expectations are through the roof. You can't cheat time. And when you're at ease with what you have, you'll do better, make better decisions, and do it faster anyway.

We’re multifaceted beings

Personality isn’t real. We’re multifaceted beings. We have many personalities if anything. The only reason it might seem like you have one stubborn personality is that you’re trapped by your thoughts. You can be funny. You know this. You can be loud and crazy. You know this. You can be diligent and calm. You’re free.

Consume less

You don't have to eat constantly or follow a strict three-meal-a-day routine. It's a social norm, like many other habits we adopt. Try going nine hours without eating (or indulging in different activities like scrolling through social media) and notice how it affects your energy levels.

Walk, and walk more than seems reasonable

Walk more than 5,000 steps every single day. The benefits are clear. This keeps you energized. It's great for posture and extends your life. Walk, and walk more than seems reasonable within a day.

To be wet is to have lost

If you want to stay dry, every raindrop feels big and gross. Water is your enemy, and you become consumed with avoiding it. To be wet is to have lost. But if you are not trying to stay dry — if you just allow yourself to become drenched — then each raindrop is no longer troublesome. You’re not dodging. You’re not worrying. You’re just in it.

Dealing with Adversity

Avoid those who make life difficult for you, whether official or self-appointed. Endure if you must, but distance yourself when possible. Don't dwell on their injustices; it only gives them power.

Doing ordinary things exceptionally well for a long time

Extraordinary results come from doing ordinary things exceptionally well for a long time. Take writing, for instance. Anyone can sit down and write a few paragraphs. There's nothing extraordinary about putting words on a page. But if you commit to honing your craft, day after day, year after year, you can achieve something remarkable.

If you don't value your time

If you don't value your time, don't expect others to respect it. Consider pointless meetings. The more you attend, the more you get invited to. Great work requires long stretches of uninterrupted focus. That means saying no to low-value things and concentrating on the few that matter.

Surprise and uncertainty

Until just recently, a solar eclipse wasn’t a tourist event. It was the cause of real panic.

Two reasons that are worth considering:

1. It was a surprise. They were not predicted.

2. They were unexplained. No one had any idea what was going on.

Eliminate surprise and explain the circumstances and panic starts to fade.

Action reduces stress.

When you know what needs to be done, inaction increases stress. You feel much less stress when you do the things within your control that move you closer to your objective. Action reduces stress.

If arguments are to be won

I once believed, as most do, that if arguments are to be won, the opponent must be pummeled into submission and silenced. You can imagine how that idea played out at home. If I won an argument under such a definition, I began to lose the relationship.

Responsibility and blame

It’s tempting to hand it to other people. If someone else takes the blame and accepts the responsibility, we get satisfaction and we’re off the hook. It’s far more predictable and reliable to simply take it ourselves. At least that way, we can do something with it. This simple shift gives us power and authority over our narrative. It helps us avoid wasting time on wishes and ever more ornate arguments about our version of things.

We must first accept

Life will never be completely harmonious. When one thing straightens out, another bends and frays. So at least we can all agree that we’ll never reach a place where things are ideal. Accepting this is the first part of the equation. If we want to enjoy our lives, regardless of what it looks like, this is what we’ll have to do. We must first accept.

The fighter is to always be single-minded

The fighter is to always be single-minded with one object in view—to fight, looking neither backward nor sideways. He must get rid of obstructions to his forward movement, emotionally, physically, or intellectually.

You live in one house for the rest of your life

You live in one house for the rest of your life & it's called your body. Maintain it (sleep & movement). Give it renovations (healthy eating & exercise). Treat your body like it's the only one you're ever going to get because it is.

You'll never be as young as you are right now

A good mantra to tell yourself is that you'll never be as young as you are right now. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone do the thing you're meant to do.

Surface friends & funeral friends

In life, you have surface friends & funeral friends. Surface friends are there for a good time & are transactional. Funeral friends are people who would travel anywhere in the world to pay respects at your funeral. They're your real friends. Cherish them.

You need to hang around younger people

It may hurt your ego but you need to hang around younger people. They keep you energized & on top of the trends.

Find something to be proud of

Pride gets a bad rap these days. They associate it with something morally inferior. But pride is what built civilisations. Pride kept people going when they wanted to quit. You don't need to lose yourself to enjoy pride. Don't allow ego to pollute your mind, but do acknowledge your wins. Pride is an emotion to be nurtured because it keeps us rigid when we might otherwise succumb.

Be intolerant of thoughts that bring you down

We are humans, and thoughts continually arise. Many of these thoughts distract us and make us feel pain. Unhelpful and negative thoughts are not something you can stop at will, but you can be intolerant of taking them seriously. People struggle and feel flat because they hold on to unhelpful thoughts. You must develop the skill of letting go.

When your attention is away from yourself

Commit yourself to projects that contribute to the well-being of other people. When your attention is away from yourself and towards growing your usefulness, we feel inspired by default.

Because you are always needed

Picture a galaxy. You are the sun. You are the bright, burning mass that warms everything in your orbit. But some old planets fly away, and new ones appear. Some inch closer; some further. And no matter what, you continue to burn, bright as ever, because your value to these planets is constant. Because you are always needed. Because you know what you really are.

Start a ‘weird ideas’ journal

We train ourselves to play it safe. We avoid risks and are drawn to conform. This is a death sentence for creative insight. Push yourself to write down far-out, ‘over-the-top’ or straight bizarre ideas more often. This is you playing at your edges. This is training you to think outside the box. It is also energizing and fun.

It’s about what wisdom we grow

The time it takes to engage with ideas—factual or fictional, emotional or intellectual, accurate or inaccurate, efficient or inefficient—might strike some as a drag. But the time given to working through those ideas, adopting and adapting, developing or discarding, changes our minds, changes us. It’s not about the wisdom we glean. It’s about what wisdom we grow.

Being misunderstood by most people is a strength

As you are right, being misunderstood by most people is a strength, not a weakness. You and a small group of rebels get the space to solve an important problem that might otherwise not get solved.

Every decision entails a choice

Every decision entails a choice. Whether it's a yes or no, this or that, now or later, it's important to recognize that every decision is essentially a form of investment. Whether we're investing our time, taking a risk, or committing to something, our cognitive processes mirror those involved in making a purchase.

Be Graceful

Long after people forget the details, they’ll remember your kindness. There are many forms of hospitality, but resilience, goodwill, and gratitude are often the ones that matter.

Now information is widely and freely available

Access to information used to be scarce. Today, if there’s something I don’t know, it’s almost certainly because I haven’t cared enough to find out. I don’t understand molecular biology or, much of agronomy–but that’s my choice.

The more stories you absorb

The more stories you absorb, the lower your chances of your life becoming a tragedy. Take many notes to make better calls. Avoid becoming a lamentable headline or a pathetic laughing stock by reading about other versions of the same.

Learning is experiencing and doing

Learning is experiencing and doing. It’s not dodging, following, or forgoing. You had to go through the shit to learn the shit. Sidestepping it would have just landed you in some other shit.

I like who I am now

Are there mistakes I wish I hadn’t made? On the one hand, absolutely — plenty — but on the other hand, I had to make them to be who I am now. No version of me presented me today with a different set of events in the past. I like who I am now, even with portions of my past I’m less satisfied with peering through present-day goggles.

To learn business, do business

Talkers talk, doers do. Beware of taking advice from the person who still needs to do the thing you want to do. To learn business, do business.

Most people drift through life

Most people drift through life. They have no purpose, no direction, and zero intent. Learn their needs and lead them.

Everything important is uncertain

The greatest things are built in the fires of uncertainty. Everything that truly matters thrives in the unknown. It's the struggle with doubt, the ability to embrace the uncomfortable unknown, that holds the power to make a real difference.

There's no glory in guaranteed success

There's no glory in guaranteed success. It takes guts, belief, and personal investment to truly make something meaningful. Whether you are in any profession, the parts that hold weight are the ones you poured your heart into, the ones you risked something for.

Where are you?

When you’re reading a good historical novel, you might be there and then.  When you imagine what went wrong in that conversation, you live in yesterday. And when you’re scripting the next conversation you’re going to have, you’re in tomorrow. Time travel and teleportation have never been easier or more common. What happens when we are here and now?

Default to surrender

AI chatbots highight a challenge that is worth understanding. It applies to customer service, bureaucracies and teachers as well. If you ask an AI a question and it’s not confident in the answer, it should say, “I’m not sure.” That could be followed up with, “Do you want me to guess” or “if you could give me more context…” But proudly and confidently bluffing isn’t helpful. It’s really unusual to find this sort of humanity (even with humans), but it’s a great way to build trust.

The simplest way to clarify your thinking

The simplest way to clarify your thinking is to write a full page about whatever you are dealing with and then delete everything except the 1-2 sentences that explain it best.

You’re only as good as your worst day.

You’re only as good as your worst day. Not because what you do the rest of the time doesn’t matter. Not because you should be expected to be perfect under immense stress or to behave according to plan when everything goes awry. But because what you do on your worst day is impossible to fake. It’s honest signaling.

Finding Your Own Path

You’re young. You have a master. You want to emulate them, do what they do. But at some point in life, you have to turn around and say I have to find my own way in my own language.

Disorder is not a mistake

We cannot expect anything to stay the way we leave it. To maintain our health, relationships, careers, skills, knowledge, societies, and possessions requires never-ending effort and vigilance. Disorder is not a mistake; it is our default. Order is always artificial and temporary.

Expose yourself to the possibility of massive failure

Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity. Opportunities parade past all of us all the time. The key is that you must be paying attention to see them, you must be willing to take risks, you must expose yourself to the possibility of massive failure, and you must believe in what you are doing so much that you do it anyway.

Not all progress is visible

Not all progress is visible. Not all victories are celebrated. Just because others can't see the results doesn't mean you're not getting better. Just because someone is ahead of you doesn't mean you are on the wrong trajectory. Just because no one notices doesn't mean it doesn't matter. Just because there is no applause doesn't mean you didn't score.

Change your perspective

If you want to understand someone doing something that doesn’t make sense to you, ask yourself what the world would have to look like for those actions to make sense. Change your perspective to change what you see.

Being single is better

Being single is better than being in a toxic relationship. Being in a great relationship is better than being single. The right partner puts everything else in easy mode.

Apply Whole Body Yes decision-making

Apply Whole Body Yes decision-making. When your head, heart, and gut align - it's a yes. If even one says no - walk away.

None of us is as smart as all of us

Talent wins games, but teamwork wins championships. Achieve greatness through teamwork, trust, and collective effort. None of us is as smart as all of us.

Pursue joy, not outcomes

Pursue joy, not outcomes. Minimize regret by chasing your passions and embracing the possibility of failure. The reward is the journey, not the destination.

You surround yourself with people who lie to

You surround yourself with people who lie to you and you call them friends. You distance yourself from people who tell you the truth and you call them enemies. And you wonder why your life never improves.

Someone who cares about what you say

Security comes from someone who knows you and sees you how you want to be seen. Someone who will always text you back when they have a free moment. Someone who cares about what you say and how you say it. These are the acts of love that help us construct a steadier sense of self.

Big problems need big solutions

If something seems too hard to fix, we might just ignore it. And if fixing it means upsetting a lot of people, we might act like there's no solution. People don't like talking about death because it's scary and there's no easy fix. But over time, we've learned to change society's views on things like smoking in public. Big problems need big solutions that often rely on changing how we think as a society.

Reputation follows you everywhere

It is not worth it to be greedy over a single transaction. Even if you're not going to work with the person again. Even if you think word won't get out. Even if you think this is your one shot to make it. Reputation follows you everywhere.

Nothing you love is lost

Things, people—they always go away, sooner or later. You can't hold them, any more than you can hold moonlight. But if they've touched you, if they're inside you, then they're still yours. The only things you ever really have are the ones you hold inside your heart.

Never expect people to say yes

Never expect people to say yes. Everyone is busy and balancing multiple priorities. Your request is not their responsibility. When you're told no, move on lightly and freely. The world is full of opportunity.

Always ask for what you want

Always ask for what you want. Many people are happy to help—if the request is direct and specific. In a surprising number of cases, something remarkable is possible if you dare to ask.

Reject hero-worship.

Find out who your hero's hero is, and study them too. If a great man is inspired by a great man, that's a solid recommendation, and now you have two great men to learn from. Learn and be inspired by the heroes. But remember, you are your own real hero throughout your life. Reject hero-worship.

Admitting that you have a problem

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. No one else can tell you to fix your personal life. They can try, but you won't listen until you feel the sting, and it becomes too difficult to lie to yourself.

You think you know it all

Some people treat constructive criticism like background noise. Or worse, they view it as an outright attack. Therefore, you can never get through to them to help them realize the error of their ways. As a result, they hurt for a very long time.