Anger is a tool that can be taken out as needed

Anger is a tool that can be taken out as needed. It can be put away the moment the phone rings and pulled out again after one hangs up. Anger is a means to achieve a goal. Personal anger is nothing but a tool for making others submit to you. Anger is a form of communication, and that communication is possible without using anger. … Emotions don't somehow exist independently. It is a lie to separate “I” from “emotion” and think, “It was the emotion that made me do it.”

There’s a difference between intellectual and smart

There are a couple of reasons we might resist help from someone who is smart:

– It exposes us to change and all the emotions that come from that. If we insulate ourselves from useful insight, we can stay put, stuck, with no changes required.

– It can make us seem dumb in comparison. It might be better to live with the problem than be seen as someone who didn’t know about it.

Access to smart is easier than ever before. But we need to seek it out.

If you're not all in

If you want me to go all in on you, you better be all in on what we're doing together. If you're not all in, if you are only kind of into it, I don't want to work with you.

Speaking up is a skill

For many, the imagined cost of speaking up is almost always higher than the actual cost. And we live with the cost in our imagination daily, dying a little bit over time as we keep our insights to ourselves. Speaking up is a skill, and we can only improve it with practice.

Paradoxes abound in this life

You will understand that nothing lasts forever, not pain, or joy. You will understand that joy cannot exist without sadness. Relief cannot exist without pain. Compassion cannot exist without cruelty. Courage cannot exist without fear. Hope cannot exist without despair. Wisdom cannot exist without suffering. Gratitude cannot exist without deprivation. Paradoxes abound in this life. Living is an exercise in navigating within them.

I do not have the answer to the question of why

I do not have the answer to the question of why, at least not now and not in this life. But I do know that there is incredible value in pain and suffering if you allow yourself to experience it, to cry, to feel sorrow and grief, to hurt. Walk through the fire and you will emerge on the other end, whole and stronger.

See the beauty in the things that are nearby

People often think that something "far off" will make them happy. Moving to a new place or getting a different job or meeting someone new will change how they feel. But happiness will always be withheld if you believe it is somewhere else. The secret is to find happiness in the people and places that are close to you. See the beauty in the things that are nearby.

Adults do well when they seek to be childlike

Childlike involves wonder. It’s the ability to see the world with fresh eyes and create magic. Childish, on the other hand, is living as if there are no consequences. Over time, we’ve gotten very good at measuring the long and short-term consequences of our actions. And good at ignoring them. Adults do well when they seek to be childlike, and that’s possible without being childish.

If we are suffering and the person we love ignores us

If we are suffering and the person we love ignores us, we suffer more. So what you can do—right away—is to manifest your true presence to your beloved and say with all your mindfulness: "Dear one, I know you are suffering. That is why I am here for you." And already your loved one will feel better."

It's essential to work on something you're deeply interested in

It's essential to work on something you're deeply interested in. Interest will drive you to work harder than mere diligence ever could. The three most powerful motives are curiosity, delight, and the desire to do something impressive. Sometimes they converge, and that combination is the most powerful of all.

Don't keep trying to open a locked door

Some things work and some things don't. There is almost always another way to get where you want to go. Don't keep trying to open a locked door.

We should seek out art that brings us mixed feelings

We should seek out art that brings us mixed feelings, and use our mixed feelings in our own work. Mixed feelings can be confusing, but they can also be our richest, most complex feelings. Mixed feelings are a deep well to dip into — but you’ve got to have a bucket with a long rope, and it takes a lot of time and strength to lower it down and pull it back up.

People want to be part of something exciting

People want to be part of something exciting and feel that their work matters. If you are making progress on an important problem, you will have a constant tailwind of people wanting to help you. Let yourself grow more ambitious, and don’t be afraid to work on what you really want to work on.

The effort is 100% in our control

The effort is 100% in our control. Outcomes sometimes aren’t. Fixating what we can’t control is a recipe for burnout.

The hope is based on something that came before

The thing is, there’s never just truth, because we’re talking about the future. So we base our hope on what has come before. And there’s never just hope. The hope is based on something that came before, some clue or hint or track record that makes us believe.

Dreams and roadblocks

The first step is to imagine what the people you serve want and care about it. The second is to figure out why they don’t have it yet. If you can help people get to where they seek to go, when they’re ready to get there, the stuff called marketing gets significantly easier.

We all think we should like to lead a simple life

We all think we should like to lead a simple life, and then we find that we have picked up a thousand little habits which we are quite unconscious of because they are a part of our very being-and these habits are not in the simple life. There is no going back-except as a broken man.

On being vulnerable

Write the story that you were always afraid to tell. Let me tell you that there is magic in it, and if you show yourself naked for me, I'll be naked for you. It will be our covenant.

Scars of Honor

When body skin was marked, you became yourself. And so you trace the impacts with your finger, barely remembering how much it hurt to acquire, but reveling in how good it feels to own. If a scar is your treasure, you understand that nobody is perfect, and nobody should ever even aim to be.

Cothes From A Lost Body

It certainly doesn’t fit you, and the former owner certainly doesn’t fit into your today—at least, not neatly. But you keep it folded in the back of your least-used drawer, where it softly and only occasionally reminds you of their no-longer-presence. If you have one of these, you know that ghosts are real, and you realize that you’re one of them to at least one someone else.

We must choose between a life that is thin and narrow

We must choose between a life that is thin and narrow, uncreative and mechanical, with the assurance that even if it is not very exciting it will not be intolerably painful; and a life in which the increase in its fullness and creativeness brings a vast increase in delight, but also in pain and hurt.

The capacity for joy is also the capacity for pain

In imagination, we feel sure that it would be lovely to live with a full and rich awareness of the world. But in practice, sensitiveness hurts. It is not possible to develop the capacity to see beauty without developing also the capacity to see ugliness, for they are the same capacity. The capacity for joy is also the capacity for pain.

Eliminate Sedentary Shortcuts

Focus on identifying and eliminating shortcuts that discourage physical activity. Prioritize actions that align with your natural urge to move and avoid sedentary habits.

You should be able to be as wrong as you want to be

You should be able to be as wrong as you want to be, but we don't have to algorithmically boost those errors. Freedom of speech and freedom of reach are different things.

The Internet is big enough and friction-free

The Internet is big enough and friction-free enough such that you can be a complete lunatic who everyone knows is a complete lunatic. And yet you create an ecosystem that enough people love. And you can figure out how to monetize it. You can have an audience of a million people forever.

Ability to start over.

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over. It takes persistence to continue climbing the mountain. It takes courage to climb down and start fresh on a new one.

What are the thorns that I would choose?

There's no such thing as an easy path in life. Every path before you has roses, but also thorns. The question we all need to ask ourselves is: What are the thorns that I would choose? We cannot hope to avoid the struggle and pain along the way, but we can choose the type of struggle and pain we will endure.

There needn't be a before and after within your life

There needn't be a before and after within your life—it can all be fluid, a DURING. The goal is to design a life that you don't need to retire from. A life that has the freedom to balance fulfilling work with the relationships, hobbies, experiences, and pursuits through which you derive joy. But I'm not going to tell you that this is easy. What I am going to tell you is that it is possible—particularly if you have an awareness of the goal and build toward it incrementally.

What if that future is something of a mirage?

In most cases, the future is glamorized in our minds as an idyllic land of free time, health, prosperity, loving relationships, and freedom. What if that future is something of a mirage? What if, as we, the famished voyager, approach, it slowly melts away and reappears further out on the horizon? What if we reach the idyllic land and find it strikingly less idyllic than we had envisioned?

Very few things happen for no reason

Very few things happen for no reason. If you suddenly fall in love, if you develop a weird compulsion, if you’re incredibly anxious for no reason… there is a reason. You have to look for the reason. If there are all these things going weirdly wrong in your life and you aren’t looking for a reason you’re probably in denial.

If your writing comes with no risk

Some people will dissect your viewpoint, disagree with it completely, or even troll you. Not only does this come with the territory, but it’s also the path through which good writing emerges. If you never piss anyone off, you’re not saying anything. If you can’t tell your true stories and your truth, you can’t be a real writer. If your writing comes with no risk, you have nothing worth saying. The value is all in your viewpoint.