The ability to love yourself improves your ability to be loved

The ability to love yourself improves your ability to be loved. We are unlikely to accept a relationship that is worse than the one we have with ourselves, and thus the person who is happy and comfortable with themselves is in a great position. A person with a healthy self-esteem doesn't have to jump into any relationship because they already have a great one wherever they go.

Be willing to risk hitting your head

Be willing to risk hitting your head on the ceiling of your talent. Be willing to really test it out and say, ‘Okay, I'm not that good. I just reached the level here.’ Don't ever want to fail, but be willing to risk failure every time out of the gate.

The coming ubiquity

The fuss about AI might be misfocused. It’s easy to point to a computer-created essay, song, or illustration and find the defects or errors. Given hard work by 1,000 trained people, it’s likely that a human could make something more useful or inspired than a computer could. But the real impact of AI isn’t going to be that it regularly and consistently does far better than the best human effort. 

The impact will be that it is widespread, cheap, and always there. Search for anything and the Wikipedia page will ‘write itself’ just for you. Brainstorm 12 variations of a solution to any problem you’re thinking about. Have a Rogerian therapist and idea coach on call at all times. Press a button on your fridge and see a dozen recipes that use what’s in the produce drawer and just that. 

Everywhere, all the time. Ubiquity is the quiet change we rarely see coming.

Stop freaking worrying

A huge chunk of the population believes there is some value to worrying. ‘It keeps them safe.’ No. No, it doesn’t. It keeps you miserable. And you already know this. So, instead of ruminating on what’s wrong with your life and what you need to ‘fix’ about yourself, redirect your attention to things you can control. You can choose gratitude. You can also choose to quit worrying and take up a new hobby. You can choose to be present and in the flow of action. Your choice. Salvation from pain lies here.

Taking small steps towards your fears

Much of the time, if we’re feeling low and we can’t describe why it’s a sign we’re allowing fear to control our lives. We’re trapped and limited by our own self-imposed limitations. Don’t allow this to go on. Identify your fears. Call them out by name. Then ask, ‘what’s one tiny step I can make today that will bring me confidence in this area?’ No matter how ‘simple,’ do it. Practice always diminishes fear. This is a priority because breaking free of limits always matters.

Exchanging reactivity for creativity

Reacting to things is allowing external stimuli to guide your behavior without thought. Someone triggers you, and you fly into a rage. Someone dumps you, and you’re miserable for weeks, crying into endless tubs of ice cream. To react is to die slowly. The alternative is always to create — and it’s what humans were built to do. It’s the expression of your humanness. So create and live. Make something of your predicament. Don’t react and die.

Having tough conversations

Most of us have been so conditioned to avoid conflict that we skip having needed conversations with people out of habit. But the difficult, open, and honest discussions often solve your problems.  Poor communication will ensure people remain resentful and confused with bottled emotions. Take some courage, say the hard thing to those who need to hear it, and feel the relief rise.

Regardless of what shit happened to you

Regardless of what shit happened to you. Life can be great. It all depends on whether you want it to be, out of choice. It’s a habit. The less we entertain thoughts that we’ve been stunted by others or other events, the more this muscle is exercised and the more at peace we will feel. We could have been through absolute misery and come out happy and wise.

They embrace new information as “software updates"

The most successful people don't have the best answers—they ask the best questions. They realize that finding the truth is much more important than being right. In fact, they legitimately enjoy being wrong. They embrace new information as “software updates" to their brain.

The "good old days" are always happening right now

The "good old days" are always happening right now. I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them. There is...treat every day as the good old days.

Never let a good friendship atrophy

Never let a good friendship atrophy. Send the text, make the call, and plan the trip. Good friendships must always be treasured.

You're going to lose some fights in life

If you’re going to lose a fight, make sure the other person thinks twice before fighting you again. You're going to lose some fights in life. That's ok, but make sure your opponent remembers the pain they felt in beating you.

No one has ever argued their way to happiness

When someone wants to argue with you, you can either (a) argue back or (b) do literally anything else with your life. Option (b) should always win out.

Don't delay difficult conversations

Time doesn't heal anything when it comes to relationships. Don't delay difficult conversations. Have them now, before too much water floods under the bridge.

Invest in keeping the foundation and structure sound

Treat your body like a house you have to live in for another 70 years. Invest in keeping the foundation and structure sound. A little bit of regular maintenance can go a long way.

The joy of love

Don’t fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love. This is part of the fundamental balance and tension of life. The joy of love comes in the same package as the pain of loss.

If tomorrow is never guaranteed

Stop waiting to enjoy the finer things. If tomorrow is never guaranteed, find the time to enjoy them today.

The real art of conversation

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Your task is not to seek for love

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Don't worry about an honest mistake

Don't worry about an honest mistake. Ponder the reason for it and so learn from it. Progress at your own speed from a simple job to something more difficult, but never force the pace.

Everything inside you will fight for improvement

Everything inside you will fight for improvement. For most people, the internal wiring makes it much easier to just stay the same. It's painful to change and grow, so we avoid it. We make up excuses and do all kinds of mental gymnastics to tell ourselves that's ok. But we're better than that, and we are made to do more than that. You get one shot at life, might as well try to make the most of it!

Trust in yourself

Never rely on others to tell you your worth. Only you know what you are truly capable of. There will always be someone who can't see your worth. Don't let it be you. Trust in yourself.

Choosing something once is easy

Choosing something once is easy. Choosing it repeatedly makes a difference. Ordinary choices compound into extraordinary results.

Find problems you or others are having

Nothing cuts to the heart of creative energy like identifying problems. Most people steer clear of problems and then wonder why they aren’t creative and energy-filled. Find problems you or others are having, then get intentional about finding a solution. Your brain will then immediately get to work.

What do you grow in your field?

Life is like an empty field. With intention, it becomes a garden, without it weeds and debris will take over. Something will grow either way, but it’s your choice what takes root. Intention creates reality.

Start slow if you have to

Just start. Start slow if you have to. Start small if you have to. Start privately if you have to. Just start

The whole of life is about another chance

At this point in my life, I know now, that finding/losing, forgetting/remembering, leaving/returning, never stops. The whole of life is about another chance, and while we are alive, till the very end, there is always another chance.

There is no substitute for courage

Your degrees can't take action for you. Your books can't make the decision for you. Your family can't live your life for you. There is no substitute for courage. At some point, you have to make the choice.

Genuine curiosity

Anyone can listen. All you have to do is stop talking. But to be a good listener, you have to stop talking and be interested. Genuine curiosity is the precursor to understanding, and a good listener helps the other person feel understood.

You don't have one purpose for your life

They come in stages, from shallow to deep. Like how your purpose as a teen might be to get back at your ex by becoming obsessed with the gym. But, you eventually transcend that purpose and adopt one around health, longevity, and enjoyment. There are no wrong actions. Follow your desires, self-reflect, raise your consciousness and make better decisions next time.

A year from now

The biggest generator of long-term results is learning to do things when you don't feel like doing them. If you let excuses or emotion drive behavior, you're cheating your future self. Put aside the excuses and start doing what you need to do. A year from now, you will wish you had started today.