Winners get rejected more

You can get almost anything you want if you ask enough people. Winners get rejected more, and they do it with a skip in their step. Most people settle for scraps because they don't think big enough, don’t ask for more, and don’t ask more often

Become the self you’d be proud to be

“Be yourself”  Really? Which self?

The self you were when you were two years old, almost out of diapers?

The self you were when you were screaming with the fans at the big game?

The self you were after a long night?

How about this: Become the self you’d be proud to be. Hang out with people and ideas that help you become that self. Act like that self every chance you get.

Turn ‘Why?’ into ‘How?’

When you find yourself spiraling with “Why did this happen?” or “What if I fail?”, shift your mindset. Ask, “How can I improve this?” or “What’s the next step?” Focusing on action instead of overthinking helps you feel more in control and reduces stress.

Write a ‘To-Don't’ List

Endless to-do lists can be overwhelming. Instead, try a “To-Don't” list: write down things you want to stop doing—like doomscrolling before bed or saying yes to every invite. Keep the list visible and adjust it monthly. Letting go of things that drain your time and energy creates more room for what matters.

Don’t Stress About Not Feeling Happy

Focus on creating a meaningful life by seeking out interesting and perspective-shifting experiences—even if they’re not always fun in the moment. It could be trying a new hobby, traveling somewhere new, or even facing a difficult challenge head-on. Also, simplify your life by cutting down on unnecessary choices—too many options (in tv shows, food, books, travel, friends, etc.) can make life feel overwhelming.

Does it fit with our world picture?

Most of us spend a lot of time censoring everything that we see and hear. Does it fit with our world picture? And if it doesn’t, how can we shut it out, how can we ignore it, how can we challenge it? We are continually threatened in life, it’s true. But once you are alone with a book, and it’s also true with a picture or with music, all those defenses drop and you can enter into a quite different space where you will learn to think differently about yourself.

Power of perspective

I think it may be easier to see solutions if you can distinguish between context and content. If you can place a problem within the framework of the larger universe its dimensions are put into perspective and automatically diminished.

When we lack real problems

When we lack real problems, we create imaginary ones; when we lack meaningful work, we perfect the unimportant. Work becomes great when curiosity drives it beyond obligation.

Avoid the anxious middle

Spend a handful of hours a day going fast. Crush a workout session. Do deep work on a project you care about. Spend the rest of the day going slow. Take walks. Read books. Get a long dinner with friends. Either way, avoid the anxious middle where you never truly relax or truly move forward.

The quality of your thoughts

The quality of your thoughts is determined by the quality of your reading. Spend more time thinking about the inputs.

You are as old as the risks you take

You are as old as the risks you take. In many ways, aging is not the process of growing old, but rather the slow death of becoming overly protective, scared, and worried about losing what you have. Youth is the energy of going for it, taking the risk, and trusting that you'll figure it out. 

Waves and tides

It’s easy to be distracted by the crashing waves on the shore. On the other hand, the tide is inexorable. It’s the long-term trend, the one that is quietly happening, over time. Sometimes, a big wave comes along and we lose our focus. It’s urgent. But expecting and working with the tide pays off. Waves burn out.

If you want to understand someone

If you want to understand someone, figure out the narrative they tell themselves about themself. If you want to change your behavior, change your narrative. If you want to change someone else’s behavior, offer them a more compelling narrative they can tell themselves.

The single most effective habit

The single most effective habit is the willingness to change your own mind. The most powerful productivity tool ever invented is simply the word "NO."

Your reputation isn't just what people say about you

Your reputation isn't just what people say about you—it's the position from which you make every move. Be among the best. Pretend you're not.

Someone else’s trauma doesn’t diminish yours

While comparing suffering, inconvenience, unfairness, or general no-goodness is tempting, it’s not helpful. Someone else’s trauma doesn’t diminish yours. In fact, when we can find the space to see that others have their own mess to deal with, it opens the door for forward motion. The past happened, but all that’s available to us now is the choice of what to do about it. And doing it together is more nurturing, resilient, and effective.

Be less bothered

As humans, we’re laughably emotional and rather chaotic beings. This is cool. This makes us beautifully human. But this can also hinder us and push each other apart. Be the cool cat in the storm. This is rare and will inspire all you meet.

The need for regular social interaction

The feeling of belonging is central to joy and resilience. Isolation, both physical and emotional, can lead to dissatisfaction and insecurity. I love to spend a lot of time alone. I need it. But I also make sure that I am developing and keeping in touch with the community around me. None of us are immune from the need for regular social interaction. Cultivate relationships in a way that matches your personality.

Inferiority complexes arise from unnecessary comparisons

Inferiority complexes arise from unnecessary comparisons. Instead of using others as a yardstick, you can choose to focus on your unique strengths and progress. Use others as a source of inspiration rather than comparison. And if that still brings you grief, turn away from what others are doing and focus on the progress you are making. You're on your own path.

We use our memories selectively

While past events shape your experiences, they do not have the power to define your future unless you allow them to. We use our memories selectively to justify our current goals or inaction. Confidence and your sense of agency grow when you realize that the future is shaped by the meaning and direction you choose today, not by what happened years ago.

Happiness comes from contribution

Whether through small acts of kindness, creative work, or offering help, contributing allows you to feel connected and purposeful. Find ways to make others happy if you're stuck, feel rejected, or need a sense of meaning.

Your life isn’t a committee meeting

Every decision you make doesn’t need to be run past nine people. Your life isn’t a committee meeting. For most things, you only need your own permission. And if it feels a bit awkward, good. You’re likely moving in a direction that’s stretching you. Move faster. Stop waiting around for approval. Act now and ask for forgiveness later.

The beautiful shortness of life

Life isn’t long, so stop treating it like time is an infinite resource. We do this mainly because everyone else shuffles around like they’ve lost all hope. But they’re not you. You’re an enthused being with the spark still in you. Remind yourself today of the beautiful shortness of life. Turn away from life as a languid stretch and focus on every lucid inch.

What we all can do

To hold our tongues when everyone is gossiping, to smile without hostility at people and institutions, to compensate for the shortage of love in the world with more love in small, private matters; to be more faithful in our work, to show greater patience, to forgo the cheap revenge obtainable from mockery and criticism: all these are things we can do.

We can't all dramatically save the world

The greatest danger to our future is apathy. We can't all dramatically save the world, but we can each make a small difference, and those small differences add up. Every single person makes an impact on the planet every single day. The question is: What kind of impact do you want to make?

People frequently get what they deserve

People frequently get what they deserve, but it doesn't feel like it because the unspoken rule is that you only deserve it if you have (1) the courage to attempt it, (2) the guts to ask for it, and (3) the willingness try again when it doesn't work out the first time.

One suggestion that has helped me tremendously

One suggestion that has helped me tremendously is: Don’t start (or end) your day by checking the news on your phone.

What should I do?

 I don’t want to feel numb. What should I do? Something. Anything. And then do some more something again. That’s all we can ever do always.

Do it quietly

When you decide to do something, learn something, change something, build something, or become something: do it quietly—at least at first.

If you are fortunate

If you are fortunate, a fantastic way to share your fortune is to gift a friend the cost of travel with you. You both will have a great time.

The most significant criteria

The most significant criterion for selecting travel companions is: do they complain or not, even when their complaints are justified. No complaining! Complaints are for the debriefing afterward when travel is over.