We must live life forward

We must live life forward and attempt to make sense of it backward. So we fail in both directions.

You cannot control what happens

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. You cannot control what happens, but you can control your reaction to it.

Always hunt antelope

A lion is capable of hunting field mice, but the prize would not be a sufficient reward for the energy required to do so. Instead, the lion must focus on the antelope, which do require considerable energy to hunt, but provide a sufficient reward.

In whatever you are pursuing, are you hunting antelope or field mice? Are you focusing on the big, weighty, important tasks that will provide a sufficient reward for your energy? Or are you burning calories chasing the tiny wins that won't move the needle?

Ask yourself this question from time and time and use your answer to reset as necessary.

You can outwork someone by outsmarting them

You can outwork someone by outsmarting them. The person who digs a hole with their hands is quickly passed by someone who uses a shovel. Outsmarting is a form of leverage. The combination of smarter and harder makes you unstoppable.

Time assets vs. Time debts

Time assets are choices that save you time in the future. Think: saying no to a meeting, automating a task, working on something that persists and compounds.

Time debts are choices that must be repaid and cost you time in the future. Think: saying yes to a meeting, doing sloppy work that will need to be revised, etc.

Time assets are an investment. Time debts are an expense.

Nurture your social connections

Deliberately choose to spend time with the important people in your life. Call, video chat, or go for a walk to keep up with them.

Who are your linchpins?

Every community needs to have a linchpin: the glue that holds it together. A linchpin could be a teammate, a group leader, or simply the one friend who always makes the meetups happen. Regardless, the linchpin is incredibly important, because they are the one who keeps the group moving toward a common goal. Without linchpins, communities would fall apart as inertia sets in and people drift away from one another.

One way to become luckier is to show up consistently

When people trust that you'll do what you say when you say it, not only will they want to work with you, but they'll want you to be successful. You can't build anything meaningful when you show up inconsistently. In the short term, you are as good as your intensity. In the long term, you are only as good as your consistency.

Commitment is that mirror

What most men call “seeking liberation” or “not wanting to be tied down” is really nothing more than avoiding pain. The wounded masculine is a vagrant, meandering through the wilderness, jumping from place to place and woman to woman. He runs all over, searching for himself everywhere except in the mirror.

Commitment is that mirror. Commitment forms the crucible that forces you to face yourself. Men who tell you to avoid commitment are telling you to avoid your demons. And the paradox is that until you face your demons, you will never be free.

No human brain is that smooth

I’ve never met anyone ever permanently attached to a single way of thinking. No human brain is that smooth. We all have our moments of optimism, pessimism, pragmatism, and fabulism. We contain multitudes of attitudes, oscillating between philosophies as a matter of situational observation.

Ask life-improving questions

If we allow any old thought into our heads, and stew on those concerns, we lose control. Take the power back by regularly asking soul-quenching questions that keep us on the right track: a creative and healthy track. Ask questions like: ‘If I knew exactly how to solve my most pressing challenge, what ONE thing would I do to solve it today?’ You may surprise yourself by how many solutions are already shelved away in that thick noggin of yours.

Ask empowering questions. Ask questions that prompt a life of intrigue and enjoyment.

Start being honest with yourself

Start being honest with yourself when you take on a new task or commitment — ask yourself, are you doing it because it is 'right' for you, or because you want to get approval and avoid disapproval?

A gap between expectations and reality

When you realize how powerful expectations are, you put as much effort into keeping them low as you do into improving your circumstances. Happiness, contentment, joy … all of those things come from experiencing a gap between expectations and reality.

Everyone strives for a good life

A weird thing in life is that everyone strives for a good life because they think it will make them happy. But what actually brings happiness is the contrast between what you have now and whatever you were just doing. The best drink you will ever taste is a glass of tap water when you’re thirsty. The best food you will ever eat is fast food when you’re starving.

People will assume your consistency

When you show up regularly in one aspect of your life, you won’t be perceived as that person who’s consistent in that one particular thing. Rather, you will be seen as “the person who always shows up,” regardless of how many domains you actually show up in.

Making anything great

 If you need 10 of something, make 30. Then pick the best.

Focus on the next move

Just because something happened that was outside of your control doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility to deal with circumstances the best you can. Focus on the next move. The next move makes the future easier or harder.

When people’s actions have outcomes that don’t line up

When people’s actions have outcomes that don’t line up with how they see themselves, they tend to insulate their egos by blaming other people or unfavorable circumstances. Phrases like, “It was a great idea just poorly executed,” “We did the best we could,” and “We never should’ve been in this situation in the first place,” are often manifestations of this self-preserving tendency.

It’s not that working hard necessarily makes you luckier

It’s not that working hard necessarily makes you luckier. It’s that putting in a lot of work positions you so that you will see more opportunities and be prepared to pounce on those opportunities because you’re prepared ...This spoke to me so strongly as a metaphor for life.

It's generally better to over-communicate

It's generally better to over-communicate. If you wait to reply because you don't have an answer yet (or because you don't want to share bad news), the other party often ends up making assumptions about what the delayed reply might mean. Silence frustrates and confuses people. Better to communicate early and often.

Ambition vs Entitlement

Ambition is when you expect yourself to close the gap between what you have and what you want. Entitlement is when you expect others to close the gap between what you have and what you want.

If you want to be a curious elder

For a great payoff, be especially curious about the things you are not interested in. This is particularly true if you want to be a curious elder.

Every time you’re given a choice

Listen. Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.

When I'm living a good day

When I'm living a good day, what am I spending my time on? Do the sources of information I am exposed to each day support that type of lifestyle or distract from it?

Connecting people isn’t magic

Connecting people isn’t magic, but in the right hands, it can make magic. Just because you are not able to fulfill something for someone doesn’t mean you cannot connect them to someone who can.

It’s tempting to think that we are strong enough

Few things are more important in life than avoiding the wrong people. It’s tempting to think that we are strong enough to avoid adopting the worst of others, but that’s not how it typically works.

The difference between a preference and a foible

Our habits, preferences, and idiosyncrasies make perfect sense. We each know that we have great reasons to embrace our ways and stick with them. Other people’s habits, though, show that they are simply picky, weird or too sensitive. The difference between a preference and a foible seems to be mostly where we’re standing.

Best friends" are a recent invention

Today, the term is still widely used. But most of us don’t naturally fall into friend pairs. Seeking them out, then, can lead to hurt—if we choose one friend over another, if the best-friend designation isn’t reciprocated, or if we don’t have the closest friend but feel that we should. For those who do have one, prioritizing them could mean turning away from other, potentially fruitful friendships. And relying on one person for all of your emotional needs creates a lot of pressure: No one is available to be a great friend 100 percent of the time.

When you first start to study a field

When you first start to study a field, it seems like you have to memorize a zillion things. You don’t. What you need is to identify the core principles – generally three to twelve of them – that govern the field. A million things you thought you had to memorize are simply various combinations of the core principles.

Doing your best is about the position you find yourself

Doing your best is about the position you find yourself in when you show up. Over the long term, the average person who constantly puts themselves in a good position beats the genius who finds themselves in a poor position. What looks like talent is often good positioning. And the best way to put yourself in a good position is with good preparation.