Relationships Should Be Voluntary, Not Obligatory

Healthy relationships are based on mutual benefit and choice, not obligation or sacrifice. You owe others respect but not your freedom. This idea was massive for me. I see so many people suffering in relationships because it’s the ‘done thing.’ No, it isn’t. You’re not a sacrificial lamb. Reevaluate relationships where you feel trapped or resentful. Only prioritize connections that enhance your freedom and joy.

Message a friend

Forget yourself for a moment, and turn your attention outward. Message someone without expectation. Do it to lift them up. Now you will be lifted.

Micro-journal

Write exactly three bullets at the end of each day:

- One thing you noticed
- One thing you learned
- One thing you’re curious about

This takes 30 seconds, but after a year, you’ll have 365 observations that drive you forward.

Take 5 breaths

Forget the nonsense about deep breaths. That just sucks in more CO2 and makes you light-headed. Instead, take five in-and-out shallow breaths through the nose. This will center you like little else, helping your mind so you make better decisions.

Develop the skill of strategic detachment

When was the last time you wished things were different to the way things were? Not a great vibe is it Attachment to outcomes is the literal formula for suffering. So, to live a life with far less suffering, detach yourself as needed.

People respect those who maintain control

The essence of ‘control’ here is non-reactivity. Bearly anyone gets this. Think of those tough guys who think they’re cool because they exhibit their rage to make a point. Those who act on their negative emotions are out of control. Staying calm in tough moments or after being judged is a tremendous skill and not easy for most. If you can be the calm in the storm, people will follow you.

People trust those who take their time

Don’t rush, and don’t give it all away too soon. People value what they have to wait for. When you appear eager for things, this often puts people off. Yes, stay hungry — be obsessed in pursuit of your dreams. But take your time for the things that require patience.