Most people aren't like you

The more ambitious you are, the easier it is to fall into this trap. You hand someone a project and think, "I would have stayed late every night for this." When they leave at 5, you feel betrayed. But here's the thing: you are unusual. Most people aren't like you. That's not a flaw in them. It's what makes you different. Once you stop expecting others to be you, the frustration disappears.

Talk to people

Actively cultivate relationships with family, friends, and strangers. Initiate conversations. Let curiosity lead. Ask follow-up questions. Assume rejection or awkwardness isn’t personal. Strong social connections are one of the most powerful predictors of long life and happiness, and their benefits begin immediately, not decades later.

Unknot yourself

Don't ignore the problem, but keep it light. Take action with a smile. Adding tension won't solve your troubles faster. Even when the problem is hard, it doesn't need to harden you. Unknot yourself. Body loose, head clear, and then take the first step. Be happy in the doing.

Is it helping?

There are millions of ways we can remind ourselves about the events of our lives and the systems we live in. But in this moment (and the next) we’ll choose just one or two to rehearse and allow it to alter our decisions, outlook and interactions. So the key question is simple: Is it helping? The story is a choice. You can change it. Not all at once, not easily, but of course, we change our focus. This takes effort, and it’s worthwhile.

Practice deep sensory noticing of people and places

Practice deep sensory noticing of people and places. Pay deliberate attention to textures, sounds, voices, movements, and atmospheres. Pleasure grows in proportion to attention.

Let seasons govern some pleasures

Let seasons govern some pleasures. Resist constant availability. Wait for certain foods, temperatures, or experiences, and then indulge fully when they arrive.

Make rest a non-negotiable priority.

Make rest a non-negotiable priority. Treat rest as something you actively protect, not what’s left over after everything else. Review your calendar and deliberately block time for high-quality rest. If no space exists, decide what you can reduce, delegate, or redesign. That could mean coordinating childcare, renegotiating responsibilities with a partner, or letting go of lower-value commitments.