Loosen your grip on preferences

Notice how easily personal preferences begin to feel like necessities, especially in a culture that encourages constant optimization and customization. Living well with others requires accepting small inconveniences, sharing space imperfectly, and choosing cooperation over control. Instead of defending every preference, practice letting minor frustrations pass, compromise where it matters least, and remind yourself that a life free of small annoyances is often a life lived alone.

What does it mean for us to own something?

If we own a piece of land and the rain washes the topsoil downstream, do we go and get the topsoil back? Do we own our reputation? We have influence over it, but some of it was gifted to us without our knowledge, and other parts are influenced by forces out of our control. Do we own responsibility? Is it something we take or acquire or accept? We can try to own our past, but the best we can do is influence our future. Ownership is a shared understanding, a construct that can shift depending on where we stand. It’s not always up to us, but it often works better if we acknowledge it.

Losing sight of the beauty of enough

Constantly chasing more creates endless dissatisfaction. Learning to recognize when life is already good allows you to actually experience it.

Life's impermanence

The best way to cherish life is to remind yourself of life's impermanence. Remember that every time you see someone, it is one less time you see them. It is important to remember that every time you go somewhere, that is one less time you visit. By doing this, you naturally slow down. Almost like a reflex, you start to truly live.

Pressure is a privilege.

Pressure feels like a threat, but it's not. You feel pressure when your decisions matter, and people depend on you. It can feel uncomfortable at times, but it's also a privilege. When no one relies on you, when no one expects something from you, you're irrelevant. Pressure is a privilege.

Remember you are going to die

Think about death and the limited time you have, often. It sounds dramatic, but when you’re conscious that time really is finite, the petty obstacles shrink and the things that matter come into focus. I think about this when I’m stressing over something that won’t matter in a few months or one year, because they rarely do.

The goal and the method

There’s a huge difference between persistence and repeatedly doing things that get you nowhere. Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re being ‘tough’ when, really, you’re going round in circles. If the front door is locked, try the window by the chimney stack. Try going around, going under, or coming back at a different time. The goal stays fixed, but the method must remain flexible.