The gap between true and known

We have more agency and choice than we know. And sometimes, when the awareness of our freedom arrives, it’s too late to reclaim the opportunities we missed. Some of the walls around us are really built by people who have no right to build them, who profit from our staying put. And some of the walls aren’t walls at all. A door we never tried, because no one told us it was unlocked. Perhaps, instead of waiting for certainty, we act as if, just for now, to explore what’s possible. Too often, we’re held back unfairly by others who have no right to do so. But sometimes, we hold ourselves back simply because we didn’t know we had a choice.

99% might be enough (or not)

A 100-foot-long boat that’s 99% complete is going to sink before it leaves the dock. That gaping hole is more than enough to do it in. On the other hand, a baked cake that’s 99% as good as the best baked cake ever made is exactly good enough to serve in any setting. Mediocrity isn’t the point. Neither is perfection. The question is: what’s the best allocation of effort to delight our customers? We should be clear about which category we’re working in.

Anniversaries

Birthdays are a little overrated. I’ve never met anyone who was more than a passive participant in their birth, but anniversaries represent a choice. Every year, we can commemorate a commitment we made and then decide to recommit. Anniversaries aren’t just romantic. The day you took the job, the day you started the practice, the day you went out on your own, the founding date on the masthead. Anything you choose and then keep choosing has one. The calendar is full of invitations to re-decide. A chance to celebrate the past and to imagine what comes next. An anniversary is worth celebrating because of what we’re agreeing to do again.

Seeking a complement

One of the nicest things you can do for someone you care about is point them to an idea, a book, a talk or a tool that will amplify their work and help them get to where they’re going. It’s not easy. It means you understand their goals, see them for who they are, and care enough about their work to amplify it. That’s why filling in the missing piece with a complement is worth much more than an empty platitude or compliment.

Feelings have a magnetic quality

Feelings have a magnetic quality. This is literal, not metaphorical. Your nervous system broadcasts its internal state through biochemistry others can sense. When you shift from survival mode into regulation, the signal changes. People register it as presence. As calm. As safety. The nervous system you build in private becomes the energy you radiate in public.

To change your life

The fastest way to change your life is to rip yourself out of your (physical and digital) environment. Change everything overnight. The places you go, the accounts you follow, the info you consume, etc. It's difficult but it absolutely works.

The human tongue

The human tongue is a beast that few can master. It constantly strives to break free from its cage, and if left untamed, it will run wild and cause you grief.