Do not act or speak out of anger

Some of the greatest tragedies have come from people’s inability to take a breath when angry. The last thing you want to do when triggered is speak or act uncontrollably. This may work in the heat of a battle, but in most cases, very little good comes out of acting in anger. Remaining calm when upset will instil more confidence than you can imagine.

Learn something for at least 20 minutes and take notes

Learn something for at least 20 minutes and take notes. Note-taking has been shown to better internalise the focus of study. Whether via books, apps, videos, or courses, daily study shouldn’t end at University. It’s a practice that can lead to exponential growth, especially when you go deep on a topic to develop mastery in something specific and helpful to the world.

You need nothing

Why would you need something from anyone in particular? Certainly, when it comes to psychological needs, no single other person has what we need. We don’t need validation or respect or support. To experience love and admiration is nice, but we shouldn’t depend on this. If we do, our happiness is instantly at the mercy of the choices and behaviours of other people. This weakens us. It also comes off as needy, which distances others from us. You need nothing. You’re free.

We’re just who we are

Many of us go through life weighed down by insecurities. These self-criticisms arose from others’ judgements, and mainly our own. We bought into the significance of these assertions and perceived something to be ‘wrong’ with us. But criticism can’t ever be tied to the truth because, by its very nature, criticism or judgement is a fabricated, human-made meaning. Without created meaning, there simply is. We simply are. We are OK. We aren’t good or bad. We’re just who we are. And in the void left by criticism, self-compassion becomes our default. Loving who we are takes no effort or intervention.

Other people can do and be what they want to do

Other people can do and be what they want to do. If you want to be deeply stressed, try wishing other people did things differently. This is inherently frustrating when we face a situation we want to change but know we can’t. The solution? Realise it’s not on you to try to change anything or anyone. The best you can do is accept that others will do things you disagree with and focus on developing yourself as best you can.

Being OK with the outcome of things

One of the most attractive traits in a human is being OK with the outcome of things, regardless of what it is. They are outcome-independent. When we can keep calm when things aren’t going our way, this garners respect because it brings harmony to (and diffuses) the situation. It is not always easy to do. When we observe outcome independence as a daily habit, we find ourselves less stressed and more creative and respect ourselves more. If something doesn’t work out, we shrug and move on.

Drop your shoulders

Like slowing our breathing, there are things we can do to bring us back into our bodies and out of our heads. We can sometimes get so wrapped in worry that we don’t realise how tight we are physically. Dropping our shoulders and allowing our bodies to relax hijacks our minds and calms us down instantly.