What if everything goes wrong

If we’re starting with what if everything goes wrong, you’re playing defense and you’ve lost before you’re even out of the gates.

The impulses for all of our bad habits

The impulses for all of our bad habits travel along the same path, a straight shot to immediate gratification through what I call the lower channel. Lower channel functioning is a disaster. When the pleasure is over, we’re left with nothing.

Professionals know how to talk about it

We evolved words on top of our primordial ability to have feelings. Words allow us to be specific, to understand a situation more completely, and to teach. Our hunches and feelings still matter, but professionals choose to be able to talk about their work. Learn the words and then make the choice to use them.

Confidence and self-belief are contagious

Confidence and self-belief are contagious; they are not a matter of pure arrogance or overweening egotism, they are the sense of being part of a greater story others have not yet discovered, and giving off an almost physical sense of invitation to join that story, that disarms and then changes potential enemies into allies.

You're robbing yourself

Most people give soft feedback because they care more about how the conversation feels than about whether the problem gets solved. This is selfish. Another thought on this... A lot of people don't actually want direct feedback; they prefer something softer. When they hear direct feedback, they focus on how it makes them feel and not the substance. If you're focusing on how feedback makes you feel and not its accuracy, you're robbing yourself of the opportunity to get better.

What is the source of the information?

Be more cautious with sensational headlines, viral social media posts, or anyone confidently summarizing a study without context. A trustworthy source should explain not just what the study found, but also its limitations, potential conflicts of interest, and how the findings compare with previous research. Scientific knowledge is built gradually, so avoid making major decisions based on a single article, influencer, or headline claiming that “a study showed” something definitive.

Practice listening without preloading your reply

In your next conversation, notice the moment your mind starts searching for what to say next, and gently return your attention to the person speaking. Let them finish fully before forming your response. If you need a pause, take one. You can say, “Give me a second to think about that,” or simply let a brief silence sit. The goal is not to be quiet for its own sake, but to absorb what the other person is actually saying before deciding what deserves to be said back.