Sign of mental toughness

One sign of mental toughness is being larger than the situation. Do the circumstances dictate your mood and emotions? Or do you choose your mood and emotions, and the situation is simply something you respond to? The less your mood depends on your circumstances, the more mentally tough you are.

Ask for help at the top

Very few people dare to ask for help, ideas, or support, let alone ask people higher up the top of ‘the ladder.’ Making bold asks, whether it’s for mentorship, asking for a job, or simply to make a connection with someone a little out of your league, may frequently be met with rejection. But that doesn’t mean you won’t occasionally get what you ask for. When you do, you’ll be propelled.

What to believe

The question of what to believe is perhaps the most momentous that anyone can put to himself. Our beliefs are not luxuries, but necessities of existence. They become particularly important in times of trouble. They are like the life-boats carried by ocean ships.

If you really want to communicate something

If you really want to communicate something, even if it’s just an emotion or an attitude, let alone an idea, the least effective and least enjoyable way is to do it directly. It only goes in about an inch. But if you can get people to the point where they have to think for a moment about what you’re getting at, and then discover it, the thrill of discovery goes right through the heart.

If you can't decide between two paths

We convince ourselves that the future is knowable, yet the pivotal moments of history are surprises. If you can't decide between two paths, choose the one that offers no immediate feedback.

Don’t eat if you’re not hungry

Don’t eat if you’re not hungry. That’s not only good dieting advice. It works in just about every endeavor we sign up for. The system would like us to be insatiable on its behalf, but that’s not an invitation we’re required to accept.

Assume misunderstanding

It’s possible that you were undermined, endangered, cut off, or disrespected. But if we begin with that, then the relationship gets shaky. Perhaps the other person simply didn’t understand. It might be that they are focused on their issues, not yours. It could be that they’re dealing with something you don’t see. And most likely, they simply might not know what you’re expecting or hoping for. When we assume misunderstanding, we open the door to something better. We can find empathy and connection by giving people the benefit of the doubt. Clarity, not grievance, is the solution to misunderstanding.