Anger is a tool that can be taken out as needed

Anger is a tool that can be taken out as needed. It can be put away the moment the phone rings and pulled out again after one hangs up. Anger is a means to achieve a goal. Personal anger is nothing but a tool for making others submit to you. Anger is a form of communication, and that communication is possible without using anger. … Emotions don't somehow exist independently. It is a lie to separate “I” from “emotion” and think, “It was the emotion that made me do it.”

There’s a difference between intellectual and smart

There are a couple of reasons we might resist help from someone who is smart:

– It exposes us to change and all the emotions that come from that. If we insulate ourselves from useful insight, we can stay put, stuck, with no changes required.

– It can make us seem dumb in comparison. It might be better to live with the problem than be seen as someone who didn’t know about it.

Access to smart is easier than ever before. But we need to seek it out.

If you're not all in

If you want me to go all in on you, you better be all in on what we're doing together. If you're not all in, if you are only kind of into it, I don't want to work with you.

Speaking up is a skill

For many, the imagined cost of speaking up is almost always higher than the actual cost. And we live with the cost in our imagination daily, dying a little bit over time as we keep our insights to ourselves. Speaking up is a skill, and we can only improve it with practice.

Paradoxes abound in this life

You will understand that nothing lasts forever, not pain, or joy. You will understand that joy cannot exist without sadness. Relief cannot exist without pain. Compassion cannot exist without cruelty. Courage cannot exist without fear. Hope cannot exist without despair. Wisdom cannot exist without suffering. Gratitude cannot exist without deprivation. Paradoxes abound in this life. Living is an exercise in navigating within them.

I do not have the answer to the question of why

I do not have the answer to the question of why, at least not now and not in this life. But I do know that there is incredible value in pain and suffering if you allow yourself to experience it, to cry, to feel sorrow and grief, to hurt. Walk through the fire and you will emerge on the other end, whole and stronger.

See the beauty in the things that are nearby

People often think that something "far off" will make them happy. Moving to a new place or getting a different job or meeting someone new will change how they feel. But happiness will always be withheld if you believe it is somewhere else. The secret is to find happiness in the people and places that are close to you. See the beauty in the things that are nearby.