Start modestly

List everything you want to do today or tomorrow. Set priorities by dividing the items into A, B, and C categories. At the least, accomplish the A items. Try the same thing with long-term goals. Priorities do shift, and you can change them at any time, but simply getting them down in black and white adds clarity to your life, and clarity creates energy.

It's better to make a wrong choice than none at all

You can't do everything, but you can do one thing, and then another and another. In terms of energy, it's better to make a wrong choice than none at all. You might begin by listing your priorities—for the day, for the week, for the month, for a lifetime.

Somebody has to be leading and somebody has to be following

There are a lot of things that are replacing our desire for connection and intimacy. For any kind of attraction to happen, somebody has to be leading and somebody has to be following.

Start embracing the beauty of tiny wins

We live in a culture that endlessly promotes and celebrates the achievement of the extraordinary. As such, we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary. When we convince ourselves that success is only defined by the monster's achievement, we create a perfect storm for Self-Handicapping. To fight back, start embracing the beauty of tiny wins. Find purpose, joy, and fulfillment in the small—in the process, not the prize.

Your preference is not universal

You’re entitled to it, and we will do our best to help you find what you want. But it’s unlikely that what you want is what everyone wants. It’s hard to believe that there is only one appropriate standard for value, observance, speed, or performance. The easiest way for us to help you is to not waste time arguing about whether you’ve uncovered a natural law that we’ve been ignoring and instead, let’s simply find out what you want. “I like it when…” is so much more productive than, “everyone wants…”

Peer support

“Peer” is a job title, and it’s earned. One way to earn it is by finding others, connecting them, and leading them. We spend our lives looking for peers to accept us, but in fact, we have the chance to establish the foundation for our peers to find each other. While most people say that when they’re a stranger in a room, they’d like to be warmly greeted, it’s also true that we hesitate to be the greeter when a new voice arrives. That’s a natural instinct, and worth pushing back against.

Be cautious and daring at the same time

One of the great balancing acts in life is to be cautious and daring at the same time. Cautious enough to avoid stupid mistakes, prevent burnout, and maintain a margin of safety. Daring enough to bet on yourself, to do the things you would regret leaving undone and to be willing to be uncomfortable in the short term so you can learn and grow in the long term.