Systemic problems require systemic solutions

Systems almost never change voluntarily. They rarely change because some of the participants in the system decide that they would prefer new rules. Systems change when their inputs change and when the rules change. Every system we live with has already been altered by the needs of some of the people impacted by the system. As impacts grow, the number of people affected grows as well.

Making small changes to our questions

Making small changes to our questions can yield completely different answers. It all starts with reframing your approach so that you are not looking at the downside risk, but the upside opportunity.

We are bad at seeing our own blind spots

We are bad at seeing our own blind spots, and we have a difficult time looking at ourselves neutrally. This becomes a problem when we have to make an important or hard decision. When we can't see the flaws in our own judgment, we need to get an outside perspective. Start by finding somebody you trust, who has a good sense of who you are, and get their candid advice.

Identify your blind spots by talking to somebody who has distance from you. Talk off the top of your mind, without a script. Share your feelings in real-time. Then let them reflect on what they're hearing back from you. You may find that the answer suddenly becomes clear.

Prioritise light-heartedness

Even the people you envy are dealing with shit you don’t want. What happy people have in common is maintaining a continual need to keep things light. Most people are focused on their own miseries. Happy people transcend this and actively practice the art of light-heartedness.

Pick yourself up and move forward again

You will get days when you want to quit. But If you also want something better you have to push through, persevere, and believe in yourself and your journey. You can have a bad day, get a little discouraged, or even shed a tear. But then pick yourself up and move forward again.

The chase emphasizes the lack

A curious thing happens when we search for happiness: we become unhappy. If we’re knowingly pursuing the illusion of ‘happiness’, we are unwittingly communicating to ourselves that we’re - you guessed it - not happy. The chase emphasizes the lack.

Be ok with not knowing

Mostly no one knows what they’re doing. They may say they do, but they’re as in the dark as you are. I’m not kidding. The future doesn’t exist, and as humans, we wish it did, but it doesn’t. And that’s ok. Trying to pre-plan everything is destroying you. Stop. Be ok with not knowing. Chuckle to yourself at the futility of wishing things were different. You can’t change what can’t be changed, so why do you presume to have magical powers no one else has?