Go and love someone exactly as they are

Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.

The obligation of the honest skeptic

Objections are helpful. We object by holding back action or support because we question one or more pieces of data. But the other half of this is the obligation: if the data ends up meeting the standard of proof we set for it, we have to change our minds and spend as much energy supporting the idea as we did to oppose it.

How many good days?

Decisions and crises and moments of significant effort and risk can be stressful. But the challenge of a stressful day is rarely directly related to today, it’s about tomorrow or years from now. This means that pushing your way through some critical choices now will probably pay off in far more good days later. How many good days later does hard decision work today earn us?

Some problems lend themselves to reexamination

Some problems lend themselves to reexamination. A second, third, or even fourth thought is productive because our initial impulses might not reflect our best effort at understanding the nuances of the situation. But many problems simply create more thoughts, without productive output. As we confront something that is unlikely to have a simple or productive way forward, it’s easy to go into a mental tizzy imagining solutions. The art is understanding which sort of problem we’re facing. And devoting the right amount of thought (not less and definitely not more) to the situation we’re in. Spending cycles on categorizing the problem is probably more productive than wasting time on problems that don’t deserve our effort.

People don’t know what we know, and don’t believe what we believe

How is it possible, we wonder, that people like us don’t believe what we believe or do what we do? Not just people we don’t know, but the people we do know. Simply asking the question helps us find a way forward. Realizing that people don’t know what we know, and don’t believe what we believe. And most of all, they have a noise in their head, just as we do.

Compared to what

Satisfaction is often driven by the story we tell ourselves. How does this rank compare to what I expected? Compared to what I used to have? Compared to the person sitting next to me? The richest person in the world used to sleep on the floor and eat moldy food but still felt great because it was more than the person in the next cave. The good news is that our perception of comparison is up to us.

If you try to do way too much exercise

If you try to do way too much exercise or move way too much weight you will injure yourself. This injury will lead to chronic pain that is outside of your control and will prevent you from having any agency with that part of your body. Similarly, if you experience psychological struggles that overwhelm you, you’ll be traumatized and you will experience chronic psychological pain and feel debilitated in that area (or in many areas) of your life.

If you never move your body or strain your muscles

If you never move your body or strain your muscles, you will become soft and weak, and fragile. You’re more prone to injury. You have the less physical power to keep yourself safe and healthy. In the same way, if you never mentally or emotionally challenge yourself, you will also become weak and fragile. You’ll be more easily upset and emotionally triggered by the world around you. You’ll have the less psychological strength to keep yourself safe and healthy.

Without reservations

I’m not sure we have a common word for this. “Yes” can mean, “Yes, I’m prepared to do the minimum” or it could mean, “Yes, this commitment is something I wholeheartedly embrace and will devote myself to exceeding expectations at every turn.” Life’s way better if we find partnerships that are the second kind. “All in” is rare, but it actually means something.

The fixed mind becomes a relic

When we lose our ability to adapt, move with the environment, tolerate new beliefs, and reshape our old ones, our mind is at risk of becoming outdated. The fixed mind becomes a relic.

Sports train you to face your fear

One of the great gifts of sports is learning how to fail in public. People never go to the gym because they're scared of looking stupid, never share their writing because they're scared of judgment, and never open their hearts because they're scared of rejection.

When you disagree with someone

When you disagree with someone more powerful than you, you should always have a constructive reason to oppose.

Good writing requires good thinking

The best way to improve your ability to think is to spend time thinking. One way to force yourself to slow down and think is to write. Good writing requires good thinking. Clear writing gives poor thinking nowhere to hide, making a lack of understanding visible.

We can select truths that engage people and inspire action

We can select truths that engage people and inspire action, or we can deploy truths that deliberately mislead. Truth comes in many forms, and experienced communicators can exploit its variability to shape our impression of reality.

There are different ways to speak the truth

Truth is not as straightforward as it seems. There are different ways to speak the truth, but not all of them are honest. On most issues, there are multiple truths we can choose to communicate. Our choice of truth will influence how those around us perceive an issue and react to it.

I give myself a chance to mourn

I have this rule about grieving. When something terrible happens to me, I give myself a chance to mourn for a fixed period of time, then I end it and move on. We don’t get to decide what happens to us, but we get to decide how to deal with it. 

We often think we have to do it alone

We often think we have to do it alone, but accountability is important for succeeding in your own race. Having allies means having supporters and cheerleaders to help you. These are people you can bounce ideas off of, turn to for support through challenges, and get inspiration from when you face uncertainty.

When you can set a concrete goal

You are much more likely to achieve what you want when you can set a concrete goal and figure out what it will take to get there. When you have this plan to guide you, you can take the steps you need to achieve success—whatever that looks like for you.

Many of us ignore the shortness of life

Life is simultaneously both very long and very short. Many of us ignore the shortness of life: We then get caught up in the stresses and fail to recognize that our precious days are slowly fluttering away. Our time is finite, but we often fail to recognize it until it's too late. Remember that you must die. Memento Mori.

Curiosity can be your guide

Life is a mysterious expanse that we're tossed into without a flashlight or guide. We hope that our parents, family, friends, or mentors can help, but the reality is that we have to figure most of it out on our own. Curiosity can be your guide—but only if you embrace it.

Question the assumptions

Learn to question the basis of anything that doesn't feel right to you. Don't chart your course through life based on someone else's map. Question the assumptions. Develop your own views.

Independent thinking is a rare superpower of the modern age.

To carve your own path—in your career or life—you have to develop your own views. You can't be constrained by the way things have always been done—by the false tradeoffs or base assumptions that others have told you to believe.

We are allowed to have fun every single day

You can turn around a bad day instantly because of who you are and the strength you can easily access. We are allowed to have fun every single day. Don’t allow your thoughts or someone else to take that from you.

One of the difficult things about making decisions

One of the difficult things about making decisions is it reduces opportunity in the short-term, but that’s the only thing that really creates great opportunity in the long term.

They do worse than dumb people

A lot of smart people think they’re way smarter than they are, and therefore they do worse than dumb people. And it’s very common to be utterly brilliant and think you’re way the hell smarter than you are.

A schedule defends chaos and whim

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days.

Do not wish away the difficult portions of life

The brilliance of the stars would be invisible without the vast darkness of space behind them. Do not wish away the difficult portions of life. They provide the contrast needed to appreciate the joyful moments.

Choosing which game to play

In sports, one of the primary sources of advantage is choosing how to play the game. In life, one of the primary sources of advantage is choosing which game to play.

Social Pressure

It’s normal to feel it. It changes our careers, our dress, and even the way we live our lives. The question is: is it caused by external or internal forces? More often than not, it’s simply something we invent. The people we imagine are busy watching and judging us might not even know we exist. Social pressure is something we make up to simplify our decisions.

when you're first starting out, be self-promotional

If you're proud of your efforts on something, be proud to talk about it. Genuine pride is infectious. When you've put in the work, energy, and love, share it with the world. If you're not willing to promote your work, why should anyone else be?

We have to avoid being dogmatic about our plans

Plans have to be dynamic and punch proof! We have to avoid being dogmatic about our plans. If the facts on the ground change, our plans have to as well. How many wars have been lost by generals who were unwilling to change their plans in the face of an adapting enemy? Stubborn attachment never got anyone anywhere worth going. You'll only go as far as your ability to absorb blows and pivot on the fly.