Most beliefs are self-validating

Most beliefs are self-validating. Angry people look for problems and find them everywhere, happy people seek out smiles and find them everywhere, pessimists look for trouble and find it everywhere. Brains are good at filtering inputs to focus on what you want to believe.

Choose to be the one

There are two types of people: Those who want to know more and those who want to defend what they already know. Choose to be the one you want to become. 

Many people have a necessary stress level

Many people have a necessary stress level, and when their life is going well they make up imaginary problems to fill the void.

A place people go to perform

Social media makes more sense when you view it as a place people go to perform rather than a place to communicate.

Always default to kindness

The world is going to try to turn you into a cynic. Don't let it. Be kind to every single person you encounter. It's the only real-life hack. Kindness remains severely underrated.

Ambition is nothing without direction

You'll feel trapped and lost if you have ambition but no way to channel it. If you have ambition, focus on finding your direction—take action to explore until you find it. Do that and the rest will take care of itself.

Possessions have no inherent value

We must always remember that possessions have no inherent value. They become what we make them. If they increase our capacity to give, they become something good. If they increase our focus on ourselves and become standards by which we measure others, they become something bad.

Ability is nothing without action

There is no difference between does not and cannot. Ability is nothing without action.

Terrible disease of loneliness

What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.

Play with a more expressive or opinionated you

One of the best habits you can incorporate is to say more and do more that may provoke or rock the boat. Share a heartfelt post that may offend some. Play with a more expressive or opinionated you. You're not stuck with your 'personality.' Do what you've always wanted but felt wrong for doing. You're taking a stand for what you want over what society says you should like. Piece by piece, this will free you from a form of enslavement.

Get your body going

One of life's counterintuitive lessons is that you will often gain energy by spending a little bit of energy. If you want to get your day going, get your body going. It's harder for the mind to be sluggish when the body is moving.

We all want to win

We all want to win. But we can't if we don't know the rules. Don't be the kid who changes the rules when they lose.

Having the ability to shape someone else’s behavior

Fundamentally, influence means having the ability to shape someone else’s behavior. That is a rather powerful thing to be able to do! Influential people can convince others to work with them. They can convince organizations to make needed changes. They can convince people they’ve never even met personally to do good things in the world.

Become a connoisseur of your own mistakes

The chief trick to making good mistakes is not hiding them—especially from yourself. Instead of turning away in denial when you make a mistake, you should become a connoisseur of your own mistakes, turning them over in your mind as if they were works of art, which in a way they are. The fundamental reaction to any mistake should be this: “Well, I won’t do that again!

Boundaries and limits

Boundaries can give us room to innovate and thrive. Budgets, schedules, and specifications all exist to show us where the safe areas are. Sure, go to the edges and challenge the boundaries, that’s why they’re there. But limits aren’t boundaries. Limits are the end, the danger zone, the thing to avoid.

We should resist trading the important work

If we need to wait until after the short-term emergency is settled, it’s unlikely we’re ever going to get to work on the long-term important work. Of course, we want to do “everything we can” when an emergency strikes. But the standard for that has always involved tradeoffs. Perhaps we should resist trading the important work for the urgent distraction of right now.

When stretched in a half dozen directions.

You'll probably surprise yourself with what you can accomplish—if you're focused on one thing. You'll probably frustrate yourself with what you fail to accomplish—if you're doing 5 or 7 or 10 things. Nobody performs well when stretched in a half dozen directions.

Happiness will always be fleeting

You will never find one answer to what makes you happy. There are many answers, and they change based on your current state. Happiness will always be fleeting because your needs change over time. The question is: what do you need right now?

People find meaning in work

People need to relax, but it gets old if all you do is sit on the beach. People find meaning in work, but if all you do is work, it gets exhausting. People benefit from exercise, but if all you do is exercise, it gets unhealthy.

Impact of your weakness

You can ignore your weaknesses, but you can't expect them to not impact you. The weakness of the coach shapes the players. The weakness of the teacher influences the students. The weakness of the parent molds the child.

Reasoning in public forces the discipline of thought

Reasoning in public forces the discipline of thought. It's like doing math on the chalkboard in front of the class. Every step must be clear and correct, or someone will point out the mistake. There's no room for fuzzy thinking or skipped steps. If your reasoning is correct, you have nothing to fear. If it's wrong, you have everything to learn.

Asking for help is a superpower

Asking for help is a superpower anyone can have but only some people use. It is brave to ask for help. Asking for help is the first step toward finding a mentor. Mentors can help us change our lives if we let them.

You’ll need to find a place to noodle

You’ll need to find a place to noodle. A place to take risks and do things that might not work, where the stakes are real but the stakes aren’t so high that you forget why you’re doing this work in the first place.

The challenge of N + 1

“Just a little more,” might be a useful way to self-motivate, until it isn’t. N + 1 pushes us to win every race, every argument, every bank balance competition. Sometimes this is simply a self-challenge, not designed to hurt others, but the problem with never being satisfied is that the loser will also be you. “Enough” is often attainable and always useful.

Are you pitching or are you asking?

There are two easy ways to tell: First if you have a script or a highlighted goal in mind, you’re pitching. You’re simply asking questions to create connection, tension or forward motion. Second, if you’re willing to learn and change your point of view as a result of the conversation, you’re asking. That’s rare. People can tell.

If your aspirations are outgrowing your net worth

If your aspirations are outgrowing your net worth, that’s when people get into trouble. If your net worth grows 10%, but your expectations grow 12%, that’s when you get into trouble.

Our love of stability keeps us where we are

Restlessness is a sign you've overstayed your welcome with where you are and need to leave by moving toward the person you can be. Our love of stability keeps us where we are. The key is to leave just before you’re ready. If you leave too late, you miss the opportunity.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt

There’s often doubt. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt enables us to move forward, which requires us to realize that our doubt might be unfounded. Systems that assume goodwill create possibility, connection, and utility far easier than those without. Being invited to find a place in those systems is worth earning.

The third impossibility

First came passive entertainment: radio and TV filled our days. Then, the internet exploded with real-time interaction, often with strangers. Now arrives AI, promising constant, personalized engagement with software that seems to truly understand us. Our world shrinks to a real-time, digital bubble.