You surround yourself with people who lie to

You surround yourself with people who lie to you and you call them friends. You distance yourself from people who tell you the truth and you call them enemies. And you wonder why your life never improves.

Someone who cares about what you say

Security comes from someone who knows you and sees you how you want to be seen. Someone who will always text you back when they have a free moment. Someone who cares about what you say and how you say it. These are the acts of love that help us construct a steadier sense of self.

Big problems need big solutions

If something seems too hard to fix, we might just ignore it. And if fixing it means upsetting a lot of people, we might act like there's no solution. People don't like talking about death because it's scary and there's no easy fix. But over time, we've learned to change society's views on things like smoking in public. Big problems need big solutions that often rely on changing how we think as a society.

Reputation follows you everywhere

It is not worth it to be greedy over a single transaction. Even if you're not going to work with the person again. Even if you think word won't get out. Even if you think this is your one shot to make it. Reputation follows you everywhere.

Nothing you love is lost

Things, people—they always go away, sooner or later. You can't hold them, any more than you can hold moonlight. But if they've touched you, if they're inside you, then they're still yours. The only things you ever really have are the ones you hold inside your heart.

Never expect people to say yes

Never expect people to say yes. Everyone is busy and balancing multiple priorities. Your request is not their responsibility. When you're told no, move on lightly and freely. The world is full of opportunity.

Always ask for what you want

Always ask for what you want. Many people are happy to help—if the request is direct and specific. In a surprising number of cases, something remarkable is possible if you dare to ask.

Reject hero-worship.

Find out who your hero's hero is, and study them too. If a great man is inspired by a great man, that's a solid recommendation, and now you have two great men to learn from. Learn and be inspired by the heroes. But remember, you are your own real hero throughout your life. Reject hero-worship.

Admitting that you have a problem

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. No one else can tell you to fix your personal life. They can try, but you won't listen until you feel the sting, and it becomes too difficult to lie to yourself.

You think you know it all

Some people treat constructive criticism like background noise. Or worse, they view it as an outright attack. Therefore, you can never get through to them to help them realize the error of their ways. As a result, they hurt for a very long time.

Wherever you are BE there

Don’t think about some other place or other things to do. You’ll be there at some point. Instead, bring your mind 100% into the current environment you inhabit. Allowing you to maximize everything.

The action seems to follow feeling

The action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.

Respect Today

Most of us don’t truly respect today (myself included). We know this by how much we think and talk about the future. “Next month I’m going to …”, “Next year we’re planning …”, “When we hit this goal …” etc. That’s us living in the uncontrollable. In the meantime, what we control is right now. It’s easy to roll our eyes at sayings like, “Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.” They’re empty cliches … until they’re not.

We’re the center of our worlds

We’re the center of our worlds, so we assume we’re the center of others’ as well. But that’s not true. People mostly think about themselves. This is a powerful realization when we make mistakes. Zoom in — we think the world is ending. Zoom out — the world is unchanged. This isn’t to say mistakes don’t matter or don’t have consequences. It’s just to say: Take some pressure off. Learn and move forward. The world keeps spinning.

Compromise

When working with others, a leader must compromise. Find the common ground. Merge different approaches. Bridge personalities. Reach agreements. These are external compromises. But internally, it’s different. With yourself, you must hold the line.

The Person You Can Control

People are not who you want them to be. Even those put on pedestals have faults, weaknesses, and failures. Kill the idea of idols. The only person you can control is you. Make yourself the person you want to be.

How good do I want to be?

We all need to decide. Are we good with “good enough?” Or do we want to maximize our potential? Good. Great. Our best. Which one is it? How we answer will influence our mindset, habits, and behaviors.

The inability to handle constructive criticism

The inability to handle constructive criticism is the surest sign someone is mediocre with little capacity to improve. Never bet on somebody who isn’t strong enough to hear what they’re doing wrong and how they can do it better without getting upset or feeling judged.

Balance is individual

One secret to happiness? Knowing there is no one definition of "balance" in your life. Sometimes you'll want to be consumed by work, projects, or family things. Balance is individual, not someone else's framework. Whatever works for you, is the right level of balance.

The notion of conflicting truths

Life feels simpler when we tell ourselves there is a single truth and everything else is a deviation from that truth–an error, a lie, an ‘untruth’. It’s disturbing to imagine that we can shape reality simply by choosing a different truth. The very idea of competing truths feels slippery, disingenuous, and conniving.

The cost of being who you are

The cost of being who you are is conflict with those who want you to be someone else. The cost of being what others want you to be is conflict with yourself.

Against stupidity one is helpless

We can combat evil, but stupidity leaves us powerless. It's tough to accept that humans, unlike animals, often act shamefully, even from what they believe are noble motives. While animals kill without excuses, humans may justify massacres with divine blessings, forgetting that God stands beside, not on, their side.

Three Types of Listening

Listening to win is, 'Let me make the problem go away by telling you, you don’t have a problem.' Listening to learn is getting underneath what’s being said and reflecting back to the person. And listening to fix is, 'Let me take your problem and solve it for you, or help you solve it.

It’s okay to be vulnerable

It’s okay to be vulnerable. In fact, it’s human. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions. Whether it’s joy, sadness, or fear, sharing your feelings can create deeper connections.

Be slow to anger

In the age of texting and social media, real conversations have become a rarity. Being able to communicate effectively is a major plus. This means being able to express your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully. Be slow to anger. Keep your composure. If something is bothering you, then you need to be able to communicate this healthily and maturely.

Kindness is crucial most of the time

Kindness is a strength, and qualities like being considerate and empathetic are highly attractive. While there are occasions to be tough, kindness is crucial most of the time. Exhibit your attentiveness through thoughtful actions; these simple gestures add up over time.

Nothing exudes attractiveness like independence

Nothing exudes attractiveness like independence. This involves having your own interests, friends, and a life beyond a relationship. No one wants a partner whose entire world revolves around them, as it can seem needy and desperate. Cultivate hobbies and interests that you can enjoy independently or with friends. It's appealing when someone has a life outside of their romantic relationship.

Many adapt to prison life

Many adapt to prison life, some push for improvements, but few become true revolutionaries, breaking down the walls—only possible when one first acknowledges the prison's existence.

Repeating what works is a pretty smart bet

There's a phrase I don't love, "You're either winning or your learning." I don't love it because the highest-signal learning should come from winning, not losing. Repeating what works is a pretty smart bet. But when you come up short, you darn well better learn. The key is to distill the proper lesson.  Sometimes, you make all the right moves and lose. This is called bad luck. You don't want to abandon a winning strategy because of a bad beat.