Friendship is essential to our lives

It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor; friendship is essential to our lives. If we are rich and prosperous, then we will need friends to partake in our beneficence and to help protect our prosperity. Conversely, if you are poor, friendship is viewed as one of the only refuges from misery.

But what if we’re wrong?

Sometimes, being wrong is a minor embarrassment, with very little real cost. And sometimes, it leads to significant costs, a one-way choice we can’t undo. It turns out that considering the downside of confidence might be a worthwhile investment. Resilience is an asset.

Grief and love are forever intertwined

It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That's the deal. That's the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is a terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable.

Once you’ve read a lot

One sign you haven’t done enough reading is if you find yourself agreeing with whatever book you read last. At first, it’s easy to be swayed by any reasonable argument. Once you’ve read a lot, you can see that even the best arguments have limitations.

What hard but necessary conversation am I putting off?

It is easy to hope things will change without our intervention. They rarely do. Instead of just focusing on the discomfort, visualize how things could improve afterward. Acknowledge it’s hard. Labeling it as such somehow makes it easier for everyone involved.

We don’t have enough resources

We used to have a very strong understanding from the elite in the world that more trade was actually good. We also used to neglect the fact that it’s not good for everyone. We don’t have enough resources to deliver everything to everyone.

Not Everyone is Out to Get You

If you ever feel that the world is against you, you are not alone. We all have a tendency to assume that when anything goes wrong, the fault lies within some great conspiracy against us. Relax. Not Everyone is Out to Get You

Chasing cool

The cool thing is always a little out of reach. And for most of us, once we get it, it’s not seen as cool any more. This is not an accident. One definition of cool is things that are just out of reach.

If we avoid hard things

If we avoid hard things, anything mildly challenging will seem insurmountable. We’ll cry into Facebook over an errant period at the end of a text message. We’ll see ourselves as incapable of learning new skills, taking on new careers, and escaping bad situations. The proof you can do hard things is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself.

The ability to do hard things

Our self-image is composed of historical evidence of our abilities. The more hard things you push yourself to do, the more competent you will see yourself to be.

Look for a way of life

Beware of looking for goals. Look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living within that way of life.

Being good at what you do is partially about competence

Being good at what you do is partially about competence, but not exclusively.

Two other things that matter: Reliability. You do what you say you're going to do—on time and as expected. Enthusiasm. You're excited to be here and eager to work on this problem. Skills matter, but in many cases, it's your reliability or attitude that separates you from the pack.

It's easier to fend off a bad day

Avoiding mistakes is an underrated way to improve. It's easier to fend off a bad day than achieve a perfect day. Rather than do your best, avoid your worst.

Staying with a problem a little longer

The difference between failure and success is often just staying with a problem a little longer. One more rep. One more step. One more minute. One more revision. One more attempt. The difference between average and outstanding is often just one more.

You absolutely need habits to function

You absolutely need habits to function. You cannot solve every problem in life as if it is the first time it’s thrown at you.

We only learn what we need to know after we've done it

As we live our lives, we find ourselves confronted with a brute fact about how little we can know about our futures—just when it is most important to us that we do know. For many big life choices, we only learn what we need to know after we've done it, and we change ourselves in the process of doing it. I'll argue that, in the end, the best response to this situation is to choose based on whether we want to discover who we'll become.

A talent grows by being used

A talent grows by being used, and withers if it is not used. Closing the gap between expectation and reality can be painful, but it has to be done sooner or later.

Relax physically

You have control over how physically uptight you are. Drop your shoulders right now. A relaxed body instantly relaxes the mind. And with a more relaxed mind, your world will appear brighter, more delicious.

Curiosity is valuable

Curiosity is valuable because being open to learning new things makes you more informed and well-rounded. It increases your intelligence, creativity, and problem-solving abilities and supports your efforts to stay current, connected, and innovative.

What is small is not small in itself

What is small is not small in itself, just as that which is great is not—great. A great and eternal beauty passes through the whole world, and it is distributed fairly over that which is small and that which is large; for in such important and essential matters, no injustice is to be found on earth.

The hard part is choosing

The hard part isn’t good ideas. It never has been. The hard part is choosing. The hard parts have always been the guts to choose and the will to put in the effort to bring your choice to the people who need it.

Social Rest

Spend quality time with people who energize and uplift you. Reduce the time spent with individuals who drain your energy. If you're an introvert, schedule alone time to recharge.

Take a break from worrying

An initial period of concentration—conscious, directed attention—needs to be followed by some amount of unconscious processing…the key to solving a problem is to take a break from worrying, move the problem to the back burner, and let the unwatched pot boil.

Entertain some public humiliation

Use the very human discomfort we all feel when we fall short of our promises and commitments. When we state our commitment to another human, we're more likely to complete it. We want to avoid the pain of falling short and looking sheepish come deadline day. Use that.

When the future finds us

The future never arrives, of course, but it has a powerful force that’s impossible to avoid. We can see it as a threshold, a doorway toward something new. Or we can fight it as an unwanted change, and discover that it has traction, tenacity, and leverage. We can influence the future, but we can’t pretend it doesn’t exist.

Throwing shade or throwing light?

One takes a little more effort than the other. While throwing shade might be more fun, it eventually runs out of energy. It’s designed to end conversations, not start them, to intimidate, not encourage. Turning on lights helps everyone.

Go a little bit out of your depth

If you feel safe in the area that you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth, and when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.

Passion is a feeling that follows action

Passion is a feeling that follows action. It tends to be created or discovered, not predicted or planned. You don't find your passion. It finds you as you get in the mix and try things.

There is an expiry date on blaming your parents

There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you.

Our emotional baggage only gets heavier as we age

Our emotional baggage only gets heavier as we age, making it even trickier to forge meaningful friendships. Fear of rejection grips us tightly, but we must remember that rejection doesn't define our worth—it simply means we're not a good fit. So let's be vulnerable, flaws and all because that's how genuine connections are built.

Cherish every exchange like it is your last

For all you know, today might be the last time you walk in a particular neighborhood. Or it might be the last time you smile at a particular someone. To think otherwise, would be foolish. Nothing is guaranteed, except this moment. Your only real choice is to cherish every exchange like it is your last — because it very well might be.