Start modestly

List everything you want to do today or tomorrow. Set priorities by dividing the items into A, B, and C categories. At the least, accomplish the A items. Try the same thing with long-term goals. Priorities do shift, and you can change them at any time, but simply getting them down in black and white adds clarity to your life, and clarity creates energy.

It's better to make a wrong choice than none at all

You can't do everything, but you can do one thing, and then another and another. In terms of energy, it's better to make a wrong choice than none at all. You might begin by listing your priorities—for the day, for the week, for the month, for a lifetime.

Somebody has to be leading and somebody has to be following

There are a lot of things that are replacing our desire for connection and intimacy. For any kind of attraction to happen, somebody has to be leading and somebody has to be following.

Start embracing the beauty of tiny wins

We live in a culture that endlessly promotes and celebrates the achievement of the extraordinary. As such, we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary. When we convince ourselves that success is only defined by the monster's achievement, we create a perfect storm for Self-Handicapping. To fight back, start embracing the beauty of tiny wins. Find purpose, joy, and fulfillment in the small—in the process, not the prize.

Your preference is not universal

You’re entitled to it, and we will do our best to help you find what you want. But it’s unlikely that what you want is what everyone wants. It’s hard to believe that there is only one appropriate standard for value, observance, speed, or performance. The easiest way for us to help you is to not waste time arguing about whether you’ve uncovered a natural law that we’ve been ignoring and instead, let’s simply find out what you want. “I like it when…” is so much more productive than, “everyone wants…”

Peer support

“Peer” is a job title, and it’s earned. One way to earn it is by finding others, connecting them, and leading them. We spend our lives looking for peers to accept us, but in fact, we have the chance to establish the foundation for our peers to find each other. While most people say that when they’re a stranger in a room, they’d like to be warmly greeted, it’s also true that we hesitate to be the greeter when a new voice arrives. That’s a natural instinct, and worth pushing back against.

Be cautious and daring at the same time

One of the great balancing acts in life is to be cautious and daring at the same time. Cautious enough to avoid stupid mistakes, prevent burnout, and maintain a margin of safety. Daring enough to bet on yourself, to do the things you would regret leaving undone and to be willing to be uncomfortable in the short term so you can learn and grow in the long term.

Focus on getting better

People usually judge you based on where you are currently, not what you could become eventually. Don't let one comment stop you from trying. File it away or use it as fuel. Focus on getting better. Someone else's analysis of your current position doesn't tell you anything about your current potential.

Overstuffed

The empty part of the drawer is what makes it a useful tool. The same goes for a filing cabinet, a toolbox, and a calendar. Slack is underrated.

You might be right

The best response is often, "You might be right." The next time someone disagrees with you or criticizes you, just shrug your shoulders and say, 'You might be right,' and watch the energy change. If you care about the outcome, focus on what's right, not who is right. Keep the goal in mind.

Stop Digging

When you're in a rut, it's like a car stuck in the mud. Trying to force your way out by revving the engine only digs you deeper. Rest is crucial, but we often see it as unproductive or wasteful. Break free from this belief. Upgrade your mindset by eliminating negativity and stopping negative self-talk. Allow yourself the time and space to rest and recharge.

Misinformation can spread at incredible speeds

The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it. This is particularly important and challenging in the age of high-velocity information sharing that social media has brought on. Misinformation can spread at incredible speeds, as it takes much longer for research, fact-checking, and logic-based reasoning to catch up and refute it.

Ride the virtuous circle of passion-practice-skill

Passion for something leads to disproportionate time practicing or working at it. That time spent eventually translates to skill, and when skill improves, results improve. Better results generally lead to more enjoyment, more passion and more time is invested. It can be a virtuous cycle all the way to extraordinary results.

You can be relaxed and dedicated

Many people care more about being right than being happy. You can be relaxed and dedicated. Just because you worry more, doesn't mean you care more.

Reality will temper both optimism and pessimism

Don’t set a too high bar, or you’ll be depressed by everything and everyone that can’t reach it. Reality will temper both optimism and pessimism.

Reality - Expectations = Happiness

You will never be happy unless your expectations are exceeded. If you think the world owes you something, you're going to end up disappointed. The world doesn't owe you anything. You can't sit around waiting for the world to come and hand you what you think you deserve. If you want something to happen, you have to take action. Go positive and go first.

Ambitions pull you forward when it's hard

Ambitions pull you forward when it's hard. They connect you to something larger. One of my most important ambitions is to be a great mentor and friend. Another is to leave the world a better place than I found it. You can't have a meaningful life without a connection to something larger than yourself.

The Noise Bottleneck

We think the more information we consume the more signal we’ll consume. Only the mind doesn’t work like that. When the volume of information increases, our ability to comprehend the relevant from the irrelevant becomes compromised. We place too much emphasis on irrelevant data and lose sight of what’s really important.

How do you define your own scoreboard

We must define “success” for ourselves. Everyone else’s definition will leave us empty. There’s nothing wrong with being rich and famous. But if we spend our lives chasing the world’s scoreboard, we will lose. So, this raises the question: How do you define your own scoreboard?

Proactively ask about your friends’ lives

Proactively ask about your friends’ lives. A lot of people have trouble talking about stuff that’s troubling them… it’s on you to ask. Choose friends whom you’re genuinely interested in—people can sense it when you’re asking out of obligation rather than interest.

You should be super proud of your friendships

Be friends with people you can genuinely, effusively praise to everyone. You should be super proud of your friendships. If you aren’t there’s something wrong.

Carving out time is important

Carving out time is important, whether it be for calls or in-person hangouts. You can’t feel close to someone unless you’re consistently putting in the time.

This day will never come again

It's hard to remember that this day will never come again. That the time is now and the place is here and that there are no second chances at a single moment.

A reminder from your future self

A reminder from your future self:

“If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.”

Human nature is not to continually strive for better

Human nature is not to continually strive for better. Human nature is to get “good enough” and then relax. That’s one reason it’s so hard to sustain success. We get good, think it’s good enough, and then settle in. Eventually, our complacency leads to our demise.

The enemy doesn’t care

They will find your emotional breaking points and exploit them. The enemy doesn’t care. You must perform, in any situation, regardless of what’s happening. We face “enemies” every day — some internal, some external — yet we still have responsibilities. We still need to perform.

Tune In & Tune Out

Tune in to the things that matter and that you care deeply about. This could be your work, your relationships, or your hobbies.  Tune into yourself. Be yourself and let the “me flag” go wild.

Tune out the things you can't control or don't matter, such as politics or the news cycle. Focusing on the things that matter to you will help you stay motivated and focused on your goals.

Get to the point

Whatever it is you’re doing, get to the point.

Have to resign from a job? Get to the point.

Disagree with someone? Get to the point.

Have to propose someone? Get to the point.

Writing a blog post? Get to the point.

Fluff is not cool. Getting to the point is.

You are empathetic by getting to the point.

Be remarkable in the right rooms

Be remarkable in the right rooms: Both real-life & digital spaces. Being noticed is not the same as being remarkable. Running down the street naked will get you noticed, but it won’t accomplish much. It’s easy to pull off a stunt, but not useful.

How I’d think about spending time with the right people:

Spend 1/3 of your time with mentors. People ahead of you. Find people who have walked the path you want to walk and try to walk like them.

Spend 1/3 of your time with peers. People on your level. Hang out with people in “your boat”. Share ideas, offer advice, support them and most importantly — listen.

Spend 1/3 of your time with people who look up to you. People who are behind you in the game of life. Not only is it good karma to help out, but you will learn a lot about yourself by helping others walk the path you’ve been on. 

Constantly edit this list of people. Keep it changing because you’re changing too.