People wait in different ways

People wait in different ways. Some are passive. Others are active. These two approaches are as different as the results they yield.

Be clear about the essential intent

We can’t know what obstacles to remove until we are clear on the desired outcome. When we don’t know what we’re really trying to achieve, all change is arbitrary. So ask yourself, “How will we know when we are done?”

If you'd like to do something bold with...

If you'd like to do something bold with your life, you will have to choose to do something bold on a specific day. There is no perfect day. There is no right time. For the trajectory to change, there has to be one day when you simply make the choice.

Keep your mind peaceful

Relaxation techniques and mind-body activities such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can help you relax, focus, and develop new perspectives. Like exercise, mind-body activities have been shown to have immediate benefits.

Change what you can and accept what you can’t

You can’t change all the stressors in the world. However, so sometimes the best way to cope with stress is by accepting the situation as it is, instead of trying to control what you can’t and adding more stress to your life.

Avoid the stressors

Running away completely will not help, but taking a break can. Sometimes you just need some space away from the stressor, whether it’s physical or mental space. Allow yourself to do something else first and then return to it.

Identify what stresses you out

Stress can be caused by more than just obvious things such as new demands at work or dealing with a health issue. Many of the sources of stress lie within our own thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors, so it’s important to look inward as well.

It is up to me now to...

It is up to me now to choose how to live out the months that remain to me. I have to live in the richest, deepest, most productive way I can.

The passion for stretching yourself and...

The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.

I can't tell you how much time is...

I can't tell you how much time is spent worrying about decisions that don't matter. To just be able to make a decision and see what happens is tremendously empowering, but that means you have to set up the situation such that when something does go wrong, you can fix it.

You cannot define a person on...

You cannot define a person on just one thing. You can’t just forget all these wonderful and good things that a person has done because one thing didn’t come off the way you thought it should come off.

Many situations in life are...

Many situations in life are similar to going on a hike: the view changes once you start walking. You don't need all the answers right now. New paths will reveal themselves if you have the courage to get started.

Simple is nearly always better

Simple is nearly always better. But if it's going to be complicated, then make sure the problem is worth the complexity. A great deal of time is wasted creating complex solutions to relatively unimportant problems.

Your first step is just that...

Your first step is just that: the first of many steps. For so long I would stand still, afraid to move in any direction because I wasn’t sure which was the course I wanted to follow for the rest of my life. Finally, someone explained to me that my first steps did not necessarily determine one path for all my tomorrows. There would be more decisions, and more opportunities to make a shift should I need to do so.

You get recycling patterns where...

You get recycling patterns where people are reactive. And so that’s a definition for drama is, repeating patterns of reactivity.

It is important to remember that the...

It is important to remember that the viciousness and wrongs of life stick out very plainly but that even at the worst times there is a great deal of goodness, kindness, and day-to-day decency that goes unnoticed and makes no headlines.

Most pursuits involve other people

Most pursuits involve other people: coworkers, spouses, children, peers. If you want your results to continue to grow, then you need relationships that last. One of the essential ingredients for success is being pleasant and trustworthy because it allows whatever you are building—a business, a relationship, a project—to continue. Many relationships disintegrate before the rewards accumulate.

The greatest rewards in life are...

The greatest rewards in life are often delayed. The financial benefits of work and investing. The emotional benefits of marriage and friendship. The psychological benefits of creating something that matters. Meaningful outcomes take a long time to grow and compound.

Most things are not as difficult as...

Most things are not as difficult as they seem—if you focus each day. However, giving one topic your full attention for an extended period of time is even harder than it seems. Over a long timeline, the bottleneck is usually attention not ability.

Anything that’s human is...

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.

The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.

It’s only when we truly know and...

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.

The mind, when distracted, takes in...

The mind, when distracted, takes in nothing very deeply, but rejects everything that is, as it were, crammed into it. There is nothing the busy man is less busied with than living: there is nothing that is harder to learn.

Put your principles into practice

Put your principles into practice – now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! You aren’t a child anymore. The sooner you set yourself to your spiritual program, the happier you will be. The longer you wait, the more you’ll be vulnerable to mediocrity and feel filled with shame and regret, because you know you are capable of better.

Now is the time to get serious about...

Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer.

Many of us seek community solely to...

Many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

Attempting to remove the habit and...

Attempting to remove the habit and leave everything else untouched does not eliminate the need and can simply lead to a replacement habit that might be just as harmful or even worse. Because of this, more successful approaches often involve replacing a bad habit with a good, benign, or less harmful one—or dealing with the underlying need. In other words, that fence went up for a reason, and it can’t come down without something either taking its place or removing the need for it to be there in the first place.

All of us, at one point or another, make some attempt to...

All of us, at one point or another, make some attempt to change a habit to improve our lives. If you’re engaging in a bad habit, it’s admirable to try to eliminate it—except part of why many attempts to do so fail is that bad habits do not appear out of nowhere. No one wakes up one day and decides they want to start smoking or drinking every night or watching television until the early hours of the morning. Bad habits generally evolve to serve an unfulfilled need: connection, comfort, distraction, take your pick.

Everything interacts and is dependent on...

Everything interacts and is dependent on other things. We must think more thoroughly about what we are doing, how we are doing it, and why we are doing it.